Always You
by iamtheunknown15
Summary: Follows ADA Alex Cabot and Det. Olivia Benson through their trials, tribulations, and triumphs as a newlywed couple. With the stresses and dangers of the job, will they be able to start a family?
1. Author's Note

A/N: ...And I'm back from a major hiatus on fanfiction writing. Since then, I've fallen in love with a new ship – Alex and Olivia of course! I worry that I'm a bit rusty on this type of writing, so please let me know what you think! I'd really appreciate it.

Backstory

In terms of storyline, I'm taking a little bit of artistic liberty (so a tad A/U). I'm going to say that this takes place in season 9, soon after Paternity (but before Undercover). Alex didn't go back into witness protection after Ghost. She and Liv instead became a lot closer, the latter helping Alex to get through the trauma she went through. They eventually got together in what would be season 7. In terms of age, I'm estimating that Alex would be 32 (the same age Stephanie March was at that time) and I'm making Olivia 41. The gang (Elliot, Munch, Fin, and Cragen – Huang too) all work at the precinct. Elliot has all 5 kids, but Eli's a newborn. Hopefully this clears up some things, but please let me know if y'all have any questions.

Title

The title of each chapter will be the title of or lyrics from a song that I feel goes along with the chapter. This one's Morning Lullabies by Ingrid Michaelson


	2. Chapter 1: Morning Lullabies

**Chapter 1: Morning Lullabies**

Alex's eyes flickered open slowly, adjusting to the sunlight that was finally peeking through the sheer voile curtains, illuminating the hotel suite with a soft glow. She sighed contently, burrowing further within the luxurious duvet where she and her partner lay. It wasn't many mornings that they could sleep in like this, but today was certainly the occasion. Almost instinctively, she began twist the band that now adorned her left ring finger, sitting just above a matching diamond-studded engagement ring. She smiled at the new sensation, one that she had been dreaming about for a long time now.

She felt the hand of her lover graze her hip, pulling her gently closer. Alex smiled, cuddling further into the embrace as she felt several kisses being placed along her neckline. She felt the warm breath of her partner against her ear as she whispered, her voice still husky with sleep:

" 'morning Mrs. Cabot-Benson."

Alex turned to face her. With a grin, she reciprocated:

"Good morning Mrs. Benson-Cabot."

Olivia smiled, capturing Alex's mouth in a deep kiss. Her lips lingered there for a while, before she eased herself away, stroking the pad of her thumb against the blonde's jawline.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of waking up like that," Alex breathed. Olivia laughed.

"Well, good thing or this," she said, lifting Alex's hand and pointing to her ring finger, "would be a bit of a problem... an expensive one at that."

Alex grinned, intertwining their hands before lifting herself so that she could straddle Olivia. "Believe me, that's not the only reason this is a life time guarantee."

Olivia chuckled throatily, inhaling sharply as she again admired her new wife's inherent beauty. She ran her fingers gently up and down Alex's bare sides. "Oh yeah," she played, "and why would that be."

"Well," Alex pretended to ponder this deeply before smiling, "I do believe that I'm in love with you, Mrs. Benson-Cabot."

Olivia smirked before carefully moving to flip Alex so that she was on top. "Good, Mrs. Cabot-Benson, because I am completely and utterly in love with you." She again leaned down kissed Alex, feeling her moan against her mouth before opening her lips and deepening the kiss. Alex began to drag her arms along Olivia's back, pulling her closer and begging her for more.

Olivia sighed, pulling herself away reluctantly. "Alex, baby, we should stop. Otherwise we'll certainly be here for a while."

Alex smiled, her cerulean pools filled with a playful glimmer. "Liv, who said there was anywhere we had to go?"

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Several hours later, the two finally began to extricate themselves from the bed, already far overdue on their checkout time. Alex watched as Olivia stood up, surveying the brunette's tawny skin and taunt muscles. Although they had been together for almost two years now, she still found herself constantly discovering new things about the detective's body – and certainly even more about the person within.

While Alex went to wash up, Olivia began to gather their things from around the room. She picked up her slacks and blouse from the ground, crumbled where they had fallen off last night. Surveying the room, she smiled to herself when she located Alex's lingerie strewn off of the mantlepiece; the flimsy material certainly hadn't stayed on too long. Finally, she picked up Alex's dress, which was hung perfectly in the closet. While Alex was more relaxed around Olivia than others, she still maintained a certain poise and had demanded the ensemble be placed out of harms way before anything began the prior night.

The two dressed in casual clothes, walking hand in hand from the hotel before hailing a cab to take them back to their Greenwich Village apartment. After dropping off their things, the couple headed back none other than the office of the Manhattan NYPD. As they were departing for their honeymoon the next day – a long weekend up in Maine – Alex wanted to make certain that her cases were covered properly for the weekend. While the ADA went to her office to clarify things, Olivia stopped by the precinct.

As she entered the room, Elliot smiled at Olivia. "Hey partner," he said, slapping his arm around her shoulder, "How'd things go last night?" He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Olivia blushed, shaking her head sheepishly before smirking at her best man. "It was great, as was this morning... and this afternoon." Elliot laughed, shaking his head at the amount of action his friend always seemed to receive. Fin too gave her a thumbs up. Munch, who now appeared to be lost in some type of fantasy regarding his fellow detective and her sexy attorney wife managed a simple, "Mazel tov!" The "boys" proceeded to chat for a few minutes, enjoying a brief respite from the tension brought on by the atrocities they witnessed day to day. It was nice for them to gather together for something other than working to solve a horrendous crime. Cragen entered the squadroom, smiling when he saw Olivia.

"Hey Liv! Didn't expect to see you here today."

Olivia grinned back, turning to hug the man who had just yesterday walked her down the aisle. "Yeah, Alex had to clear up a few things before we left for the weekend so I figured I'd stop by."

"Weather's looking good up there. Definitely enough snow for some skiing."

Olivia chuckled and shook her head. "Oh, I know. That's all Alex has been talking about." The ADA, skilled at the sport from many childhood winters spent at Aspen country clubs, was excited to see her neophyte wife out on the slopes.

Cragen laughed, patting the detective's shoulder. "Well, be careful out there. There will certainly be plenty of work we'll need you for when you get back." Olivia forced a thin smile. It was upsetting to think that while she and Alex were enjoying some of the best moments of their lives, countless others were being destroyed, just in the 460 square mile of the city alone. Unfortunately, this was a fact never too far from her mind...

"Hello everyone." Her favorite voice broke her out of her thoughts. She turned with a smile, watching Alex saunter into the room. Noticing the slightly upset look on her wife's face, the blonde placed her arm around Olivia's waist, pecking her softly on the cheek. As Alex was certainly not one for public displays of affection – especially in the workplace – Olivia appreciated the gesture, slipping her hand around that of the attorney. With several well wishes, the couple was off to go pack for the weekend. As they walked down the streets, surrounded by the familiar sounds, smells, and sights that they'd be leaving behind for the weekend, Alex turned to look at Olivia, who still seemed lost in thought. "Hey, baby, are you okay?" she asked, her voice laced with a bit of concern. Olivia looked back at her, getting lost in her eyes for a moment. She then smiled softly, placing a kiss in the crown of her hair.

"Yeah. I just can't believe that I'm this lucky."

With that, she wrapped her arm around Alex's waist and the two continued down the streets of New York.

PAGE BREAK

A/N: So, any thoughts?

For those interested, this is what I had in mind in terms of outfits (just take out the spaces for the hyperlink):

Alex's wedding gown: http : / www. verawang . com / wedding /all-gowns /# /?look=68

Olivia's wedding outfit: I didn't have anything exactly in mind – similar to Ellen's outfit when she married Portia, minus a vest

Wedding rings/ Alex's engagement ring:

http:/ www. zales. com/ product/ ? productId= 12450633&kpc=1


	3. Chapter 2: Keep Warm

A/N: The song for this chapter is Keep Warm by Ingrid Michaelson. Also, **warning**, this chapter may be borderline M. I'm not sure. There's no smut but definitely more sensual material

Chapter 2: Keep Warm

The brisk February wind rushed against Olivia's face as she stood on top of the peak. It was cold, and she could feel the icy tips of her brown hair swinging wildly with every quick gust. She quickly checked her hat to make sure it was secure, not wanting it to become lost in the billowing abundance of snow. Lifting her hands to her mouth, she blew against them, willing the circulation she was sure must have halted to resume.

"You know, the longer you stay up there, the greater the chance you're going to freeze."

Alex had positioned herself at the foot of the bunny slope and was impatiently awaiting her wife's first attempt at skiing. Olivia had to admit that she'd rather be down there as well, next to the blonde whose warm embrace seemed more desirable than ever at the given moment. It would also mean she'd made it down the hill in one piece.

"Really, Liv, it's the bunny slope. There are little kids skiing down it, baby!"

Alex was right. Several minutes before, Olivia had almost been a point of collision for one – a five year old who had agilely avoided the "old lady blocking the middle of the slope." She sighed. This was ridiculous; she was a decorated office of the NYPD, a detective who had held her own in countless life or death situations, who had been a part of many swift police chases, both on foot an in a moving vehicle. She certainly could handle a bit of snow. She inhaled resolutely, positioning the two ski poles at her sides. "Okay," she mumbled Alex's instructions from their lesson to herself, "Create a wedge... bend your knees..." Cautiously, she propelled herself forward and began sliding down the slope. "Hey Alex, baby," she yelled excitedly, "I think I've got it down!"

She made it about ten feet before losing her balance and, in an attempt to save herself from falling, swerving into the fluffy whiteness of a nearby snowbank. Alex anxiously rushed up the hill. "Liv! Olivia, are you alright sweetie?" The detective slowly extracted herself from the snowy heap, careful not to slip as her skis were still attached to her feet. Seeing that Olivia was alright, Alex couldn't help but start laughing at the sight. Her hat was askew, her face red and clammy, and she had to be covered head to toe in snow.

Olivia frowned, starting to brush the snow off of her suit. "Stop," she whined, "It isn't funny."

Alex shook her head, trying without much avail to quell her laughter. "No, no, of course not babe." She moved to help, gently whisking her fingers through the brunette's hair. She kissed her cheek. "That was a good first try."

"And last. I think I've had my fill of skiing."

"Come on honey. You can do it!"

"Nah, I think I'll just watch you," Olivia responded, pulling her boots out of the skis. "It's a whole lot prettier."

Alex grinned, planting another kiss on Olivia's lips before heading off towards the black diamond slope. Olivia watched her ski away, unable to keep herself from noticing how well her ski pants hugged her ass. Maybe skiing wasn't all bad. Smiling to herself, she trudged over to a nearby seating area at the end of the slope, dragging her skis behind her. She plopped down on a wooden bench, removing her gloves to shake out some of excess snow while she waited for Alex to get to the top of the lift.

Olivia loved watching Alex ski. She looked so masterful... graceful. It came to her with a great deal of ease. Alex glided swiftly down the slope, skirting past several obstacles without concern. Olivia fixed her eyes on Alex's hips, watching as they moved rhythmically back and forth, admiring her agility and finesse. She certainly appreciated this limberness in other contexts as well. Shaking these dirty thoughts out of her mind, Olivia moved her gaze upward so as to stop ogling her wife in front of the slew of children running about. Alex was reaching the end of the slope now, pointing her skis inward to reach a gentle halt. She looked around for Olivia and, finding her gaze, smiled widely.

Olivia grinned and yelled over, "Perfect 10 babe!"

*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*

Back in the ski lodge, Alex handed Olivia a hot chocolate curling up next to her on the couch in front of the fireplace. "Thank you, darling," she said, taking a sip. "You know what, that was a fun time."

"Yeah?"

Olivia nodded. "Absolutely! It's gorgeous out here, and, as much as my performance was less than impressive, it was... entertaining to try. And you of course are always beautiful to watch."

Alex smiled, moving to nuzzle again Olivia, enjoying the warmth of her embrace after a long day spent on the slopes. "I'm glad you had a good time," she yawned. Olivia kissed the top of her head.

"Tired, love?" She felt the blonde nod against her chest.

"And sore. Gosh, I'm so out of shape."

Olivia laughed. "I don't know about that, but I can certainly give you a massage if you'd like."

"That." Alex began, punctuating the word with a kiss," sounds like a wonderful idea." She rested her forehead against Olivia's.

"Let's head upstairs then. I'll draw you a bath, and then we'll loosen up those muscles," she whispered throatily. Feeling a familiar sensation in her core, Alex stood up and pulled Olivia to her feet, grabbing her hand to pull her back to their suite.

A few minutes later, a warm bath was drawn, vanilla candles lit, and lavender massage oil pulled out of the "honeymoon package" provided by the resort. Olivia pulled the white, cotton robe off of Alex's shoulders, moving to help guide her into the jacuzzi tub. Slipping off of her own clothing, she stepped in behind, wrapping her legs around Alex. Alex sighed comfortably, removing her glasses before falling into Olivia's embrace. Olivia combed her finger through her lover's hair, pulling the blond locks into a loose ponytail to move them out of the way. "Just relax baby," she said, placing a line of kisses down her jaw. Squeezing some massage oil onto her palms, she rubbed her hands together to make them warm before kneading her fingers over her shoulders.

She felt Alex tense briefly before relaxing to her touch with a moan. "Oh, Liv baby, that feels so good." Olivia smiled, moving her hands rhythmically up and down the blonde's back, gently pressing her fingers to count each of the vertebrae. She then moved to Alex's sides, rubbing slowly against the firm muscles. She slid her hands over her stomach – feeling her partner squirm with desire under her touch – before placing them over her fair breasts. Feeling Alex harden underneath her palms, she massaged them sensuously, earning a cry of pleasure from her wife.

"You like that sweetheart?" Alex nodded weakly, whimpering as she melted further into Olivia's touch, begging the brunette to go further. Olivia leaned down, capturing Alex's mouth in a languid kiss before guiding her hips against her own and finishing the massage the Benson way.

*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*~AO~*

"Alex, oh God, you have to try this," Olivia exclaimed, mouth still half-full of the chicken marengo she had ordered. Alex giggled, placing her fork on her own plate.

"Give it her, detective." Olivia sliced a bite size piece of chicken and lifted it to meet Alex's awaiting lips. "Oh, wow," Alex praise, savoring the taste, "that's incredible." Olivia smiled, lifting another piece with a questioning look. Alex parted her lips, capturing the bite that Olivia playfully moved towards her mouth. She caressed one of Olivia's hand, intertwining their fingers. The two giggled, enjoying the delicious meal in the upscale New England restaurant that Olivia had surprised Alex with reservations to. She knew that Alex would have been fine with some clam chowder and room service, but insisted that on their honeymoon "her girl deserved only the best."

The two were interrupted by a woman across the aisle clearing her throat. "Excuse me, ladies. This is a _public_ establishment," she sneered. Gesturing to her table, she continued "There are children here. We all would appreciate if you kept your... personal endeavors to yourself."

Alex and Olivia looked at one another completely flabbergasted. "Umm, ex-excuse me?" Alex adjured, furrowing her brow in confusion.

The women rolled her eyes, pulling a chubby and overdressed toddler closer to her hip. "Clearly you are not from around her, but we pride ourselves on being a neighborhood with family values. I will not have you exposing these innocent and impressionable children to yours and your girlfriend's _lifestyle_."

Alex blushed profusely, turning her gaze toward the table. Though she was by no means a reticent individual and asserted the right to be herself on a practically a daily basis, both professionally and personally, she also was thrown off guard having this private moment between she and her wife interrupted. Olivia frown, infuriated by how upset this had made Alex.

"Well excuse me, ma'am, but it appears that you have managed to be so blinded by your bigotry that you've failed to notice that it is now the twenty-first century. This," she began, grabbing Alex's left hand, "is my beautiful _wife_ and, judging from the lack of a ring on your own finger, she makes me a whole lot happier than you ever made your husband. Divorce isn't one of those "family values," is it? And didn't you hear that an absentee father can make a boy gay? Better watch out for your son, huh," she continued sarcastically, taking pleasure in the nervous look that crossed the broad's face. So, how about you take your homophobic remarks, which cross the line of imbecilic, and head on home to your _model_ family."

The women, eyes wide and mouth gawking, stood up abruptly. Glaring at Olivia, she flitted off with a humph, pulling the toddler behind her.

Olivia sighed, balancing on her elbows and massaging her temples. Alex looked over at her. "'Imbecilic,' huh." she questioned.

Olivia smirked. "Helps to have a lawyer for a wife sometimes," she smiled before calling over the waiter to order dessert.


	4. Chapter 3: One of the Strongest Pairs

A/N: The song for this chapter is "And Darling" by Tegan and Sara

**Chapter 3: One of the Strongest Pairs**

Olivia grunted, lifting the last of Alex's fleet of Louis Vitton luggage (luggage that probably cost three months worth of her salary) into the apartment before dropping them near the doorway with a relieved sigh. Alex lifted her eyes from her novel. She was lying on the sofa with a glass of red wine, clearly more content than her counterpart, whose brow was slick with a thin layer of sweat.

"Babe, I told you that I'd help you carry things." Olivia had refused in an act of chivalry.

"And I would would have taken you up on that offer had I realized how much you had packed. Jeez Alex, is there anything left in your closet?". She plopped down on the other side of the coach, propping her feet up on the coffee table.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "If I do recall, you enjoyed several of those things," she replied, pulling Olivia's legs onto her lap to massage the soles of her feet. Olivia smirked in agreement, relaxing into Alex's touch.

"It's good to be home," she said with a smile. The two lounged for a moment, Alex returning to her book while absentmindedly stroking her fingers up and down Olivia's leg while she started to doze off. Suddenly, Olivia's eyes shot open, and she got up abruptly. "Shit! Alex, get up!"

"What?" Alex asked with a bit of concern.

"I forgot to carry you through the threshold!"

Alex groaned, sinking deeper into the soft leather cushions. "Ugh, really Liv? Weren't you supposed to do that the first time we were home anyway?"

"Yes, and I forgot then too. Come on, please..." She drew out the last word with a bit of a pout, opening her chocolate brown eyes wider.

Irresistible. Alex sighed dramatically, a playful smile teasing the corners of her lips. She followed Olivia out of the apartment. "Ready?" Olivia asked, grin wide. Alex couldn't help but be amused. She wrapped her arms lazily around her partner's neck, pecking her with a chaste kiss.

"Yes ma'am," she mumbled into Olivia's lips. Olivia smiled. Swiftly, she slipped an arm behind Alex's legs, gently swooping her into a bridal-style embrace. Pulling Alex close against her, she carried her into their home, careful not to slam the blonde's head into the doorframe – that would not go over well. Surpassing the living room, she proceeded down the hallway to the master suite, gently laying Alex down onto the bed. "I could have walked you know," Alex said, giggling as Olivia lined her collarbone with an assortment of nips and kisses.

Olivia smirked, turning her focus away from Alex's body for a brief moment. "It's okay. You're a hell of a lot lighter than your suitcases."

AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO**AO

"28-year-old Jane Doe, blitz attacked in downtown Chelsea. She's down at Mercy and just regained consciousness. Benson, Stabler, get her account. Munch and Fin, head down to the lab for crime scene analysis," Cragen delineated. Olivia breathed heavily, running her fingers through her hair, preparing herself for a rude reintegration with the city. Grabbing her leather jacket and badge, she headed off with Elliot to the hospital.

The two were intercepted by the attending. "Detectives, says her name's Samantha Ringwald. Doesn't seem to remember much - still groggy from the pain meds. She's out of the woods though. We'll be transferring her from intensive care tomorrow." The detectives shot him a quick thank you before entering the victim's room.

Samantha Ringwald was a mess. Her brown hair was matted. She had a large black eye, discolored nose, and several gashes down the left side of her face. Her left arm was resting on a pillow, held by a plaster cast. "Hi Ms. Ringwald. I'm Detective Benson and this is Detective Stabler. We're here to ask you some questions about last night if you're feeling up to it."

The woman nodded slowly. "Sam, please." She mumbled. "Okay, Sam, can you take us through what happened last night?"

"I was heading home from the library around midnight. I'm studying for my dissertation at Columbia. I was waiting for my cab to come but he came up behind me and pulled me into a nearby alley. He put his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. I tried to bite him but he was wearing gloves. He... slammed my face into the side of a building... then my head." Her voice began to waver. "I...I must have lost consciousness then, but the nurse, she told me that he... that he..." She broke down into tears. Olivia cautiously placed a comforting hand on top of Sam's.

"Did you see him at all before you lost consciousness?"

"No, he was behind me."

Elliot added, "Did you notice anyone paying particular attention to you recently. Maybe at the library or at school..."

"No!" Sam snapped. She looked back towards Olivia with begging eyes. "Please, can we stop now."

Olivia nodded solemnly. They weren't going to get any farther at that point. "Yes, you've been very helpful Sam. I'm going to leave you my card. If you remember anything else, give me a call." Sam's eyes were blank and glassy with tears. She looked ghoulish against the white hospital sheets and without a word grasped Olivia's card in her hand, turning her back to the detectives.

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"Fifteen years followed by probation, contingent upon your client's cooperation in his partner's trial."

"That's ludicrous. Knock off ten years and exchange probation for counseling. My client's a troubled man... absent father, alcoholic mother, abusive stepfather..."

"Your client kidnapped an eighteen-year-old so she could be raped and brutalized by Victor Mulligan. That's co-conspiracy in kidnapping, assault, and rape. Your client is lucky he's no longer looking at a life sentence."

"I'll take the deal."

"Chuck, we can do better than this. She doesn't have what she needs for this conviction..."

"Like hell she doesn't!" the defendant responded, slamming his fists against the metal table. "I did it! They've got me on camera grabbing that blond girl for Vick." He grabbed his head in his hands. "Fucking twenty grand wasn't worth it. I got a kid on the way. I want to see her grow up." He looked Alex dead in the eye. "I'll take the deal."

"A remorseful felon," Alex replied sardonically, standing up and smoothing her suit. She turned her attention back to the defense attorney. "You have him in court on time tomorrow or his daughter will be celebrating her high school graduation with him in Sing Sing." Upon leaving the interview room, she was intercepted by her boss, Liz Donnelly. "What's the status of the Mulligan case?"

"Alberts took the deal. He testifies tomorrow against Mulligan." Donnelly nodded before looking at Alex quizzically. The younger blond failed to notice and continued, "The case is practically closed. All the evidence we have is secure and with the victim and Albert's testimony, the jury will convict."

Donnelly nodded again, a satisfied look on her face. "Very good." She grabbed a compact mirror out from her bag. "One more thing, Alex. I would consider wearing a turtleneck tomorrow." Alex frowned, her brow lined with confusion. Puzzled, she took the small mirror and examined her neck. She gasped softly. Brazenly poised on her collarbone, in direct view of her boss – and God knows who else – was a perfectly formed hickey. Alex could feel the blush rising to her cheeks, her hand shooting to hide the reddish-purple mark that must have formed after hers and Olivia's... encounter that morning. She wanted to curl into a ball and die. Donnelly smirked at the attorney's clear discomfort, knowing how straight-laced Alex could be. "Just be glad it was me who noticed and not opposing counsel." She turned to leave. "And for God's sake Alex, tell Detective Benson to keep things below the neckline, at least on court days."

Alex's alabaster skin turned about ten shades redder. No, she wasn't living this one down anytime soon.

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When Alex got home – after staying late in her office to work on paperwork so none of her other colleagues noticed the tell-all mark on her collarbone – she found Olivia sitting with an untouched cup of coffee, staring into space.

"You," Alex said accusingly, "Look at this!" She pulled the collar of her blouse down slightly to reveal the bruise which had been unsuccessfully masked by some foundation.

"Oh, baby," Olivia frowned innocently, "let me kiss it and make it better." She leaned towards Alex, who gently caught her lips with her fingers.

"No way! Those things are dangerous." She blushed again. Mortified, she continued, "Liz noticed."

Olivia sniggered. "I would have paid to see that one." She sighed and turned back to her coffee, stirring the lukewarm liquid absentmindedly, clearly lost in thought.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Alex asked, taking a seat next to Olivia and placing a gentle hand on her back.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Liv, you promised." And that was true. Early on in their relationship, Alex and Olivia had agreed that while they certainly wanted to separate work from home – had to with their careers – they couldn't close off from one another emotionally. Olivia sighed heavily.

"It's just hard coming back to it all, you know?"

Alex nodded. That was all she needed to say. She pressed a soft kiss to Olivia's forehead before getting up and pouring her wife a fresh cup of coffee.

A/N: Please review! Thank you to everyone who has done so thus far. I really appreciate it :)


	5. Chapter 4: Reflection

A/N: The song for this chapter is "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac. Some scenes and dialogue will also be taken (and altered) from the season 9 episode, "Paternity," which of course does not belong to me. Also, I'm making Elliot's kids a couple of year's younger than they probably were at this point in the series.

Chapter 4: Reflection

"You guys still coming over for Easter?" Elliot and Olivia were sitting outside of the courtroom, waiting for the verdict on their most recent case. She nodded. It had become a tradition. Ever since Olivia's mother had died and she didn't have a family to celebrate the holidays with (not like it had ever been much of a celebration before anyway) Elliot had invited her to share some of the major ones with himself, Kathy, and the kids – Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Easter. When Alex came into the picture, the couple were more than content to act as each other's company for most of the holidays, but Easter remained one time in which the Stabler-Benson-Cabot clan still came together. Olivia wasn't quite sure why. Before Elliot, she had never even celebrated Easter, not being religious herself, and despite having grown up Christian, Alex wasn't all too spiritual either. She supposed that for her, Easter had become more of a tradition – a family time – where she'd and dye eggs and do other crafts, enjoy a chaotic dinner, and join the kids on their annual egg hunt. To everyone's surprise, it had become a holiday that she was most excited for.

"Good." Elliot's phone chirped and he looked down at the message. "It's Cragen. He said he wants us back down at the precinct ASAP. There's a case." The detectives were met by the captain and the chief of detectives.

"Olivia," he greeted. "Elliot, I understand you're a proud new papa. Oh, this is the little tyke?" Olivia watched the chief examine the picture of Eli with a small smile. While she was very much happy for Elliot and Kathy, and was took pride in her role of surrogate-aunt, she couldn't help but feel jealous towards her partner, who was basking in the arrival of yet another perfect child. "Hmm, well that is fine work detective," the chief continued.

Luckily, Cragen got right down to business. "The chief has assigned us a case. He wants it top priority."

"Absolutely. What is it?" Olivia asked. The squad was briefed on the case: the theft of a cryotank full of embryos – as the chief described, "potential children who have been kidnapped." The next couple hours were filled with paperwork, background research that would hopefully give them some insight as to a motive and potential perps. Olivia perched herself on the corner of a desk, leafing through the notes from the 2-6 officers who had been handling the case before it was reassigned. "Hormonal wannabe mama re-interview. Nice." She shook her head with a sigh. "Look, I like Marty but it's probably best we're handling this."

"And here's the reason we are," Elliot demurred, grabbing a cup of coffee. He walked over to Olivia and showed her a file. "Police commissioner and his wife." He continued on, stating that there were several other cases that they should have been handling before this.

Frustrated, Olivia countered, "Well, it's not like somebody stole their hubcaps, Elliot. Do you know what they went through to get those embryos?"

"You know I don't. I had kids the old-fashioned way," he responded almost boastfully.

Olivia couldn't believe how insensitive he was being. It certainly struck a nerve. It was pretty clear that Olivia wouldn't be getting Alex pregnant anytime soon without some sort of outside assistance lacking the necessary sperm count. She envied the fact that Elliot could spawn as many natural, beautiful children as he wanted with his wife while she would never know what it was like to have a child that was biologically both hers and Alex's. Despite the fact that the newlyweds had never had a serious talk concerning children, both very much caught up in their careers, Elliot's words still stung.

"Nice," she sneered sarcastically. "Well, some people aren't as blessed as you are." With that she dismounted the desk, grabbing her badge and gun before heading out to the squad cars, leaving a contrite Elliot and uncomfortable Fin and Lake behind. This was going to be a long day.

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The tension between the detectives had only intensified as they headed back to the car after interviewing the Harveys, a couple who had extracted eggs from their seven-year-old disabled daughter after starting her on fertility treatments. Olivia was dialing her cell phone furiously. "Who are you calling?"

"Children's services," she scoffed.

Elliot sighed. "Don't."

"You can't possibly be okay with what they're doing to her."

"Look, it's a nightmare. But it's a bad situation no matter what they do. They think they're doing what's best for their kid."

Olivia looked at him appalled. "They're trapping her in a child's body forever."

Elliot shook his head. "Parents have to make hard choices. Now, this last pregnancy, Kathy was over forty. It – it makes for much higher risk... things like Down Syndrome..."

"And you know what," Olivia interrupted, "Eli turned out perfect, so spare me the perils of women over forty having babies.

Elliot could almost feel the ice radiating off of his partner as she whipped back to the car. He knew he needed to do something. While the partners frequently disagreed over certain issues, their feuds usually blew over quickly. This, however, was not that case this time; Elliot knew he had struck a nerve – and stuck his foot in his mouth several times already.

He sat down in the driver's seat with a sigh, waiting to turn on the ignition. "You know you'd make a great mom..." he started. No luck.

"Oh my God, I am not having this conversation."

Elliot knew he was walking into the lion's den now, but this was his best friend. He at least owed her an attempt at rectifying his earlier blunders. "You're great with kids," he said.

"Yeah, I know." She licked her lips angrily, looking out the window. He started the engine.

"I mean... have you and Alex... thought about it – starting a family. Anyway you want to do it, I'll support you." Olivia turned to look at her partner, only to be met with a look of pure honesty and concern. She realized he was extending an olive branch.

She sighed, sinking into the seat. "Just drive," she said, getting lost in her thoughts. Elliot had just about accepted his partner's return to the silent treatment when she spoke up. "I have... you know, thought about it... been thinking about it."

"Yeah?" Elliot asked with a small smile, "Liv, that's great."

"I don't know, El. I mean, I haven't even mentioned it to Alex. She knows I've always wanted kids, but in a very, I don't know, abstract sense. And with work and stuff, I don't know if she'd be up for it. I mean, I wouldn't want her to feel forced into anything..."

"Just talk about it with her, Liv. I mean, this is Alex we're referring to. She loves you to death. But on the same token, I think she's the last person in the world who would feel guilted into anything she didn't actually want to do."

For the first time that day, Olivia smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right... th...thanks El."

He returned the grin, patting her shoulder. "Don't mention it, partner." For a couple minutes they drove along wordlessly before Elliot broke the silence. "Hey Liv."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sure Mo and Kathleen would love to babysit."

AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO

"Three months!"

"It was not three months!"

Alex peeked her head out from the kitchen, still stirring a bowl full of mashed potatoes. "You told me it took you three months to build up the guts to propose _after_ you bought the ring."

Elliot laughed heartily. "You never told me that, Liv."

"Yeah, well..."

"Don't worry Liv," Kathy shouted from the kitchen, "Elliot was literally shaking when he got down on one knee. I thought he was going to fall over."

"Hey! At least it didn't take me three months," he said, shooting a teasing look towards Olivia.

"Well, we had some time constraints we were looking at."

Elliot laughed. "Yeah, this one here," he said, ruffling Maureen's hair before she shoved his hand away with a mutter that she was messing it up.

Olivia smiled before turning her attention back to the Lego's that sat in front of her. It was Easter Day, and she was lounging in the Stabler family's living room. Having been immediately replaced in the kitchen by Alex – much to Kathy's relief after the fair share of accidents she had caused – she was left to help entertain the kids with Elliot. Eli was down for a nap, but 10-year-old Dickie and Elizabeth were as energetic as ever – probably due to the copious amount of sugar they had already consumed by the time Olivia and Alex showed up that morning. Currently, they were playing with Dickie's new Lego set, having already exhausted 2 puzzles, several rounds of checkers, and a game of tag. Maureen had finally retired her schoolbooks, eager to enjoy the holiday even though the weekend wasn't necessarily a "break" for any college student. Kathleen, on the other hand, was acting like the typical teenager and hadn't put her phone down from texting from the time the two had gotten there.

"Aunt Liv, check this one out," Dickie said enthusiastically, lifting up a hastily constructed Lego gun and pretending to shoot various targets around the room.

"Nice," Olivia chuckled, giving the boy a high five. "Going to be just like your dad when you grow up, huh?" Dickie nodded vehemently before running off to pester Kathleen with his new toy. Lizzie cuddled up to Olivia's side.

"I want to be just like you when _I _grow up" she said, peering up at the woman. Olivia smiled, kissing the girl on the head. Alex caught the end of the sentimental moment, smiling to herself as her wife proceeded to tickle Lizzie, resulting in a cheerful outburst from the child.

"Lunch is served," Kathy announced, slipping out the backdoor quickly to avoid the coming rush. Settled down with a meal of chicken, mac n' cheese, potatoes, and corn, the group relaxed and enjoyed each other's company.

"So Mo," Olivia began, "Have you started looking at schools yet?" Already a junior undergraduate, Maureen was intent on looking at medical schools and was quickly approaching the critical application process.

"Yep," she replied, "Starting to narrow things down. I like Columbia, Johns Hopkins, Mount Sinai. I take the MCATs soon and then start applying in the fall."

"Much to my wallet's dismay," Elliot added.

"Ugh, definitely a stressful process," included Alex, "I was ridiculously stressed when I applied to law school. It's slightly easier having had the experience of undergraduate applications, but certainly not fun at all. I'd recommend getting a head start on those applications as soon as you can."

"Oh, believe me, she's already started some mock essays, my little over-achiever," Kathy said with a chuckle, leaning over to pinch Maureen's cheek.

Olivia laughed in return. "Hmm, sounds like someone I know," she added, sending a teasing look Alex's way, before grabbing the blond's hand.

Everyone smiled. "If you'll excuse me for a moment," Kathy began, trying to slide behind several family members to head towards the house, "I'm going to use the restroom." Suddenly, a piercing cry transmitted over the baby monitor. "...or not. He's probably hungry," she said.

"I can get him," Alex offered, much to Olivia's pleasant surprise. Alex had never seemed like one who would subject herself to a hysterical baby voluntarily.

"Thanks Alex," Kathy replied with a relieved smile, rushing off to the bathroom. "Four pregnancies does a number on your bladder. He has a bottle in the fridge if you want to grab that. I'll feed him when I get back." Alex nodded, following her into the house and heading upstairs to Eli's nursery. She returned a couple of minutes later, a still whimpering baby in her arms. She sat back down and looked perplexedly at the newborn bottle in her hand.

"You can go head and start feeding him if you want. Just keep the bottle tilted up slightly to prevent air bubbles," Elliot instructed. Alex fixed the bottle into the infant's mouth and smiled down at him as his cries began to subside. Elliot shot a knowing look across the table at Olivia, who dismissed him subtly before turning her attention back to Alex and Eli.

Kathy walked back outside. "Look at you," she said cheerfully to Alex, "You're a natural." Alex smiled, brushing the pad of her thumb across the baby's cheek to dry up his tears before lifting the now-empty bottle from his mouth.

"He needs to be burped, right?"

Kathy nodded. "Yep, just prop him up over your shoulder and give him some pats on the back." Alex lifted Eli up slowly, careful to support his head as she rested him against her shoulder. She patted him no more than twice before Eli returned a large burp – and a bunch on spit up. Alex cringed as the milk-stenched liquid soaked into her blouse. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Alex," Kathy said, rushing over to take the baby off of her hands, "I should have grabbed you a towel or something."

Alex mustered a smile. "No problem. I'm just going to go wash up." Olivia watched a she, clearly uncomfortable by the messiness, heading back into the house. She shot Elliot a nervous glance, to which she received the "don't freak out" look.

"Daddy, are we going to the egg hunt now," Dickie said excitedly.

"Yep champ! Let's just bring the last of this food in and then we'll grab our baskets and go."

"I'm just going to go check on Alex," Olivia informed them, slipping back inside. She found Alex is the bathroom, painstakingly cleaning off her sleeve with a wash cloth. She smiled as Olivia entered the room.

"Guess you shouldn't wear good clothing around young children," she joked.

Olivia smirked, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Yeah, pretty sure that's in the owner's manual." She leaned over to sniff Alex's blouse. "You seem to have gotten it all off though."

"Yep," Alex replied, "Nothing a little soap and water couldn't fix." With that, she slipped on her cardigan and wapping her arm around Olivia's waist, and the two headed off to meet the Stablers for the 18th annual Cunningham Park Easter Egg Hunt.

AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO

"You have fun?" Olivia asked, taking a seat next to Alex on the park bench and wrapping an arm around her to pull her close.

"Oh, absolutely," Alex said with mock elation, lifting a large brown bag "The twins have supplied me with a year's supply of chocolate. Apparently Kathy's set limits."

Olivia chuckled. "Hey, that's still high praise. They like you enough to relinquish something that may matter to them more than life itself to you."

Alex smiled. "Oh, absolutely. In all honesty, though, I had a blast. They're all great kids."

"Yeah, I know," Olivia said airily. The two soaked their surroundings for a moment. Lizzie and Dickie were over with a pack of sugar-crazed kids, trading the spoils they have gleaned from the egg hunt. Maureen was showing Eli, held by Elliot, an assortment of colored eggs, playing the tiresome game in which he would grab one and toss it to the ground, laughing when Maureen picked it back up for him time and time again. Kathy had finally separated Kathleen from her electronic limb and was engaged in a clearly pleasant discussion with her, broken up by fits of laughter.

Olivia smiled to herself, because in that moment, she could truly picture it, reflexed in the parents and children around them. She and Alex chasing around a toddler with blond curls and bright blue eyes, going on little adventures in the park and building their own traditions. While she had always wanted a family, she could actually see herself having one with Alex, and nobody else for that matter. She turned to find Alex watching a little boy – no older than two or three – and his father, feeding ducks with his mom. "I used to do that every Sunday after church with my dad," Alex said wistfully. "He was always off from court so that used to be our way of bonding since... well, I must have been that age."

Olivia smiled. She supposed now was as good a time as any. "Hey Alex, can I ask you something?"

Alex nodded, turning her attention to Olivia. "Of course, hon."

"I know we haven't really talked about it, but do you ever, you know, think about having kids?" She was met with silence and began to brace herself.

Alex smacked her lips together, a mannerism Olivia had learned meant she was figuring out what she wanted to say. In that moment, the brunette's nervousness certainly was not quelled. Alex took a deep breathe. "I have. Quite a bit actually. You know, I had never thought I'd actually wind up having kids of my own. My own upbringing was a bit frigid and I know I'm not the most warm-and-fuzzy sort of person. Plus, my career's always been my top priority. I don't know. I just began to figure that the occasional family reunion would suffice." She paused, and turned to meet Olivia's gaze. "But that all changed when I met you. You make me different... you make me... want different things, _see_ different things. Olivia, I'd love to start a family with you."

Olivia was shocked, unsure if her jaw was actually hanging open. "Re-really?"

"Yes," Alex nodded, caressing her cheek. "You'd make a great mom, Liv. I'd love to experience that with you. I want to experience everything with you."

Olivia smiled, her eyes becoming a bit glassy. She kissed Alex deeply, forgetting for a moment that there were flocks of children roaming about, including two very disgusted twins.

"Eww, Aunt Liv, kissing is gross," Lizzie gagged.

"Yeah, Aunt Liv, don't forget that girls have cooties. I mean, you're a girl too, but it still counts," added Dickie before the two scurried off.

Olivia chuckled, placing a chaste peck on Alex's cheek. "Forgot that things are G-rated around here," she said. Taking her hands, Olivia smiled with relief and uncontainable joy. "You and me, a baby?"

Alex returned the content grin, intertwining their hands. "Yep, a baby."

A/N: **Double updates** get reviews, right? Please! Keeps me enthusiastic about writing. Let me know if you like where the story's heading please :)


	6. Chapter 5: Such Great Heights

A/N: The song for this chapter is Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine. The episode referenced is from season 9, episode 16 "Closet." "Undercover" did not happen and clearly Olivia has not been dating Kurt Moss.

**Chapter 5: Such Great Heights**

"What about number... 1023?" Alex asked, lifting her eyes from the page to slide the large binder into Olivia's view. "Brown hair, dark brown eyes, Ivy League educated, _and_ he's an attorney."

"Yeah, but what if he's a scumbag defense attorney."

"Ugh, good point," Alex scoffed, flipping the page quickly. She removed her glasses, rubbing her eyes with frustration. "I need a break." Olivia smiled, returning back to her own book. They had been sitting at the Manhattan Cryobank for about two hours now, trying – and failing – to pick the perfect sperm donor. Though the counselor had helped them narrow it down slightly, they currently had gone through approximately one hundred profiles without avail. With Olivia's dedication to SVU, they had decided it would be safer for Alex to carry the baby, but Alex still wanted the baby to bear some physical resemblance to them both. But while picking the physical traits of their donor had been easy, deciding upon the other characteristics was exceedingly difficult. Most parents didn't have to cherry pick the genes for their children. Olivia read through a few more files: arrogant, broke college student desperate for money, history of health problems... She sighed, turning the page.

"Hey, Alex! Take a look at this one."

Alex adjusted her glasses, leaning over to look at the book. She suddenly brightened. "Liv, this is like the male version of you!" Donor 1064 was in his early forties, olive skin, brunette with brown eyes as well. He liked to jog and read, loved rock music, and knew how to speak Spanish (and a bit of French). And most significantly, he had served as a police officer since his twenties.

Olivia smiled widely. "Well, not quite. _I_ don't know how to play violin or dance."

Alex pressed her lips against Olivia's. "I'd disagree with you on the dancing, but in terms of the violin, I certainly wouldn't mind a little virtuoso child," she joked.

Olivia wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist. "So... you like him?"

"I think we've found ourselves a donor."

The two returned to the consultation office, met by their extremely cheery counselor, Rachel. "So, you've made you decision?" she asked excitedly. Normally, Alex would have been irritated by such excessive chirpiness if she weren't so excited herself. Still, she maintained her characteristic legalize poise.

"Yes, we're interested in donor 1064."

The Rachel nodded vigorously, pulling up the extended profile on her computer. She began to scroll through it. "Yes... uh huh... negative for genetic mutations... no history of health conditions..." She turned back to the eager couple. "I'd say donor 1064 is a great choice for the two of you. He's new to this clinic at least. You two would be the first ones using him. That also means that there is plenty of the sample to store for sibling uses. Are you interested in this service."

Alex turned to Olivia. The two had been so caught up in this baby that they hadn't considered future children yet. "Umm... yes," Olivia answered, nodding to Alex, "Yes, we may consider reusing this donor in the future."

"Okay, then I would definitely recommend the Siblings Program. We would store additional samples of the semen here at the cryobank under your names should you choose to have any more children in the future. The cost to store the sperm for the next year would be $700. Now, in terms of the donor, his profile designates that he would be open to either anonymous donation or ID disclosure. Have you decided which you would like?"

Alex nodded, grasping Olivia's hand. "Yes, we decided upon ID disclosure ultimately, but we would like the name to remain anonymous to us as of now." The couple had decided that they wanted their child to have the opportunity to known who his or her biological father was in the future should they so choose. This decision had partially been born out of Olivia's own struggle with her identity, not knowing who her father was growing up; despite her hatred of him, she knew that this experience for her child would be different – consensual among all parties. She didn't want deny her child the chance to see where he or she biologically came from despite the pain it may cause she and Alex. Alex had supported Olivia's choice, knowing how difficult it could be legally for a person to do so should parameters not have been set from the start. For now though, Alex and Olivia did not want to know who donor 1064 was, wanting to start their family to be something between just the two of them.

"Okay, the sample will wind up being $435 then. Now, Ms. Cabot, you'll be carrying the child, correct?" Alex nodded with a smile. "Great! Have you met with an obstetrician."

"Yes," Alex said, pulling a piece of paper out of her briefcase and handing it to the woman. "I met with Dr. Jessica Gil last week. She said that everything was normal and started me on a prenatal vitamin regiment." She paused, slightly uncomfortable. "I'm ovulating today as well."

"Very good! I will go get your sample now then as well as the kit for home IUI so we can go through the procedure. She slipped out the door, returning a few minutes later with a collection cup (which she promptly placed in the freezer), a few sterile syringes, and some saline. The counselor spent the next half an hour learning how to perform the insemination before sending them on the completely overwhelmed couple on their way.

Later that evening, Alex and Olivia were attempting to eat dinner – in actuality, both were shifting their pasta back and forth on their plate. Alex looked up at Olivia.

"Is it ready yet?"

Olivia stood up, walking over to a bowl of lukewarm water that sat on the counter. She removed the cup and turned it carefully, watching the liquid. "Still seems a bit frozen." She walked back to the table. "Rachel said it should be completely "warm and fluid." She stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Gross stuff."

"Hey," Alex said playfully, "that's your future child you're talking about."

Olivia laughed. "Right now that is some nasty semen. There's a reason I haven't touched that stuff in years."

Alex's eyes widened. "You're not the one who has to have it... shot up into you." She shuddered dramatically in disgust. Olivia chuckled, moving to rub her hands up and down Alex's thighs.

"You excited?" she asked.

Alex nodded with a content smile. "Absolutely." She paused. "Nervous though."

"About the insemination?"

"Yeah, that and – you know – pregnancy, giving birth. Everything."

Olivia nodded sympathetically. "You'll. Be. Great," she told Alex, punctuating each word with a kiss. Alex sighed, balancing her forehead against the brunette's. "So... you going to eat at all?" Alex giggled, shaking her head. "Yeah, me either."

The two decided to attempt to watch a movie to distract themselves while they waited for the sample to thaw, however neither of them were paying all too much attention. In fact, Alex couldn't even tell you what film Olivia had popped into the DVD player. She nuzzled further into Olivia's chest, releasing a deep breath. Olivia looked down with a slight frown. "This isn't working, is it?"

"No, not quite."

Olivia thought for a moment. "Okay, I've got an idea." Alex flipped herself over so that she was facing her.

"What?"

Olivia smiled, caressing the blonde's cheek gently. "Well, Jessica did say that it would aid the insemination if you were – how'd she put it? – 'excited.'" She grinned mischievously. "I can help with that."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Alex exhaled nervously, trying to get comfortable. Completely restless, she got up and grabbed a couple of pillows. Jessica had mention it would help to have her hips canted. Again, she tried to relax. Olivia to return to their bedroom with the IUI kit, carrying the collection cup as though it was made of glass. She smiled. "Ready to make a baby?" She then looked down at Alex with concern. "Baby, you're shaking," she frowned, hurrying over to Alex's side.

"No, no, I'm okay," Alex said, trying to reassure her.

Olivia ran her fingers through the golden strands of her wife's hair. "Are you sure? We don't have to do this right now if you're not ready."

Alex smiled nervously, sitting up slightly to kiss Olivia deeply. "No, I'm ready." She smiled more confidently. "Come on woman," she said, smacking Olivia's ass playfully, "get me pregnant already."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Ugh, how long has it been?" Alex groaned from the bed, still laying with her legs on a slight incline.

Olivia chuckled, depositing the vibrator back in its drawer. "Alex, sweetie, it's only been five minutes. Jessica said you're stuck like that for at least a half and hour."

Alex pouted. "Will you at least come lay with me?"

Olivia smiled softly. "Of course baby." She made it over to the bed and laid down beside Alex, resting her head on her chest. Alex played with her brown hair absentmindedly.

"This is weird."

Olivia shook her head gently, looking up at Alex. "No, this is incredible." Cautiously, as though it was fragile, she placed her hand on Alex's bare stomach. Alex smiled, resting her hand on top of Olivia's. The two remained like that for an hour, quietly content to be in one another's – and perhaps their baby's – presence.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

_One month later_

Olivia took another bite of her dinner. After a long day of searching for Jeremy Hane's mystery lover, they were short on leads. She looked down at her watch. 11:30 o'clock. It was going to be a long night.

"So Jeremy and closet boy are playing Brokeback Mountain. Things get a little rough and Jeremy winds up dead," Elliot theorized.

"Look, either way, closet boy's screwed. He can't be found at his dead gay lover's apartment so he splits." Olivia couldn't imagine. God forbid something every happened to Alex, there was no way she would ever be able to hide that sort of grief. It was unbearable even to think about. She shook the idea from her mind.

"Hey Liv, Elliot," Lake yelled from the lower level of the squadroom, "We ran down Freddie's pals. They all backed up his alibi."

Fin added, "And the security camera puts him entering the shelter around 11:45 PM. He didn't leave after that."

"Okay, so Freddie's clear."

"And so's Sam the assistant. It's confirmed he was working in full view of a dozen other people when Jeremy was killed.

Damn, no leads now. Olivia sighed, "So it looks like our best bet is the mystery man. Now all we have to do is find him."

Elliot thought for a moment. "Would you miss your boyfriend's funeral?"

"Yeah. If I was famous and in the closet. How am I gonna show up crying at a gay man's grave?"

Elliot nodded. "You make sure no one else is there to see you."

Fin called down from below. "I'll go get Munch to organize some sort of visual near Jeremy's grave. Knowing his paranoia, I'm sure he's had plenty of experience with hidden cameras."

Olivia's cell phone buzzed against her hip. Stepping to the side, she flipped it open. "Benson."

"Hey Liv. You going to be home any time soon?"

Olivia frowned. "Sorry baby, probably not. We're pretty caught up in the Hanes case right now. I'm going to be stuck her a while." She could almost hear Alex's disappointment on the other line. "I'll make it up to you."

"It's okay. I understand. Any leads?"

"None of which check out right now. We're working on setting up a camera at the grave sight to see if any nighttime visitors come by." She heard Alex yawn. "Oh, sweetie, you should get some sleep. You sound exhausted."

"Yeah, I'm going to head to bed. Love you."

"Love you too. Night."

By 1:00 AM, Cragen sent everyone home. "Chances are he's not a flight risk. Probably thinks hes under the radar. Get some rest and we'll check the tapes bright and early tomorrow morning."

Olivia grabbed a cup of coffee and headed back home. Dropping her keys on the counter, she quietly headed towards the bedroom. Alex was dead asleep, her blond hair splayed all over her pillow, her body curled up against Olivia's pillow. Olivia had asked her about that habit once. Alex had told her that it smelt like her, made her feel safe when she wasn't there. She tiptoed over to the bedside table, placing her gun in the drawer. She then started to change into her night clothes. She heard some rustling behind her.

"Mmm...'Livia?" Alex asked tiredly, trying to open her eyes. Olivia smiled. Alex was adorable when she was tired.

"Hi sweetheart," she said, placing a soft kiss on Alex's forehead, "Go back to sleep. I'm just going to brush my teeth."

"M'kay..."

Olivia splashed some water on her face to wake herself up. Sighing, she patted her face dry and went to grab her toothbrush. That's when she noticed a small white stick. It couldn't be...

Olivia anxiously shuffled through the medicine cabinet and found an empty box of pregnancy tests. Picking up the white stick, she compared it to the side of the box. Her eyes widened. "Alex!" she called, hurrying back into the bedroom.

Alex was sitting up in bed, glasses on. Her hair was still slightly askew but she, like Olivia, was wide awake now. "Took you long enough," she smiled.

"Is this... does this mean... are you..." Olivia stuttered.

Alex nodded. "I'm pregnant," she beamed.

Olivia dropped the pregnancy test on the dresser and rushed over to her, catching her mouth in a passionate kiss. "You're pregnant," she said, happy tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Alex's eyes were glassy as well. She took Olivia's hand in hers, placing them onto her still flat stomach. Olivia inhaled sharply.

"Wow!'

Alex chuckled, "Yeah, pretty much!" Olivia smiled, capturing Alex's mouth again, gently laying her down on the mattress. They took things slowly that night, rediscovering each other's bodies like it was the first time. And in some ways it was – both woman already changed by the commitment they now faced. Alex had never felt so loved, watching as Olivia ran her hands up and down her sides, placing kisses down her torso only to pause and rest on her belly. Olivia, well, she was on top of the world.

A/N: Please review! I know some of you wanted it to be Liv having the baby but for the purposes of this plot line, it made sense for Alex to be pregnant. We'll see about later in the story though... Please let me know any thoughts or comments you may have! Thanks so much for the support you've given this far! I'm having a lot of fun writing this.


	7. Chapter 6: Secret

A/N: The song for this chapter's "Secret" by Missy Higgins – couldn't really find one that matched up perfectly

**Chapter 6**: **Secret**

Olivia rolled over in bed only to find the spot next to her empty. Slightly confused, she sat up and turned to the clock, whose fluorescent green numbers were flickering 2:13. Figuring Alex had just headed to the bathroom, she lay back down, closing her eyes once more and dozing on and off. Five minutes passed. Still no Alex. Concerned, Olivia pulled herself out of bed and padded down out of the room. Down the hallway, she found the bathroom door slightly ajar, the light radiating into the otherwise pitch apartment. She heard retching. Hurrying into the bathroom, she found Alex bent over the porcelain toilet, weakly coughing up her dinner. Olivia bent down and pulled the blond hair out of her wife's face, rubbing her back comfortingly.

"Uggh, go away..." she heard Alex moan softly before becoming sick again. Olivia ignored her plea, only standing up when she was sure Alex had finished. She grabbed a washcloth and dampened in the sink before squatting back down next to her.

"You think you can sit down?" she asked gently. She saw the blonde's head nod slightly. Olivia helped ease her so that she was sitting propped up against the wall. Alex sighed heavily, pressing herself against the cool tile.

"You don't have to be here for this," she argued weakly.

"Nonsense," Olivia refuted, patting the sweat off of Alex's brow. She pressed her lips against her forehead. No fever; this was just morning sickness then. "I'm going to go get you something to drink. Will you be okay for a second?"

Alex nodded tiredly, forcing a small smile. Olivia returned a couple of minutes later with a glass of ginger ale and another cool washcloth, which she placed behind Alex's neck. When Alex felt ready, she watched her brush her teeth and then helped her back to bed, tucking her in and kissing her softly. After she climbed into bed, Alex rested her head on Olivia's shoulder. "You're too good to me," she said with a smile.

"You two are worth it."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Olivia yawned again, fighting to keep her eyes open as she reviewed the file in front of her. Elliot lifted his head up from his own paperwork. "You alright?"

Olivia sighed. "Exhausted." She turned to survey the squad room and, finding it empty, continued. "Alex was up five times because of morning sickness this morning." Elliot gave his partner a sympathetic look.

"Yeah, Kathy was miserable for the first couple of months with Maureen. Doc said it was something about adjusting to all the hormone changes and it would get better with subsequent pregnancies. Didn't make her feel any better at the time though. I don't even know how many times she'd wind up throwing up during the night. Eventually I just began to sleep through it." Olivia frowned slightly. She would feel awful if she wasn't up to help Alex; she just looked so weak when she was sick – not something characteristic of the young attorney, "Kathy says that peppermints help. She used to have me up tons of them on my way home from work."

Olivia smiled appreciatively. "I'll keep that in mind." She was glad to have Elliot helping her figure things out; after all, he had had plenty of experience. She and Alex on the other hand were like typical first time parents: unsure of what to do and scared shitless. Although Alex had only known she was pregnant for about two weeks now, Olivia already felt like she was drowning in confusion. The couple was very excited, but had decided not to tell the rest of the squad about the pregnancy until Alex was farther along. Elliot, on the other hand, had seen through Olivia's attempted guise. The detective was skilled at being secretive, but not when it came to her partner. He had wound up prying it out of her in a week's time. She didn't mind though. He was her best friend. Plus, he had been sworn to secrecy so as not to face the wrath of Alex, which was scary enough _without_ the pregnancy hormones.

Alex walked over to the pair, placing her briefcase on Olivia's desk. The brunette couldn't help but stare at her wife. While she looked like a train wreck, Alex – despite having gotten no more than three hours of solid sleep and having been the one who was physically sick – was flawless as ever: suit ironed, her blond hair combed back impeccably with a headband, and the dark shadows under her eyes masked by liquid foundation. "Any updates on the Wimbledon case?"

"Clemings is in the looney bin," Elliot griped, "Started hearing voices while we were interrogating him earlier this morning."

Alex scoffed, rolling her eyes. "_Of course_ her did. How else will Langan fashion his affirmative defense. I'll call him for a meeting when I get back to my office. And I want Huang interviewing Clemings as well. While I know there's no validity to this insanity plea, I want that to be clear to the jury as well." Elliot and Olivia nodded. "Okay," she turned to the latter, "And you'll come by my office at three?"

The detective smile. "Yep, I'll be there." Today they had their first appointment at the OBGYN; despite her fatigue, Olivia could hardly contain her excitement, and though Alex was maintaining her professionalism at the moment, she could tell the blonde was anticipant as well.

"Very good." Alex survey the room and finding it empty still, leaned over to peck Olivia on the cheek. "See you later," she parted with a grin.

The morning dragged on. As their evidence was rock solid for rape/murder – hindered only by the sudden psychosis of their perp, the majority of the morning was spent on court prep and catching up on old paperwork. Huang had interviewed Clemings, who had entered into a clearly falsified state of dissociation. He wasn't at all concerned about testifying as an expert witness for the prosecution, having observed the defendant getting caught up in his own web of deceit; Olivia knew Alex must be pleased. And the afternoon was only going to get better – in just 1 hour 24 minutes.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"I've have a glass of pinot noir," Trevor Langan said, handing the waitress his menu.

"Just water for me please," Alex said, folding her hands in front of her.

Langan smiled. "So, you asked me out to lunch just to order a glass of water, Alex. At least get yourself a drink."

Alex shook her head. "No, Trevor, we have business to attend to," she responded, evading the real reason she hadn't ordered any alcohol.

Langan lifted his hands in mock surrender. "Fine, fine. What's your concern?"

Alex scoffed. "Well, I'd say your clients faking mental disease to avoid being charged with rape and murder is a bit alarming – pathetic actually."

Langan rolled his eyes. "My client is experiencing a dissociative fugue, the same state of mind he was in when he attacked Marissa Wimbledon."

"We both know that's not true, but if you're so inclined, I look forward to proving it to you in court." She reached down and grabbed a file from her bag. "Here's the paperwork. Dr. George Huang interviewed your client earlier today and – big shock – says there's nothing wrong with him. He'll be testifying on behalf of the prosecution." Standing up, she grabbed her briefcase and gave him a satisfied smile. "Good luck."

A half an hour later, she was finalizing her opening argument when she heard a knock on her door. Expecting it to be Olivia, she began packing up her things as she called for the visitor to come in. Liz Donnelly strolled in the door to find Alex pulling on her jacket.

"Going somewhere?"

"Sorry, I thought you were Olivia. I'm heading out for a doctor's appointment."

"And Olivia's leaving work to take you? Is everything okay Alex?" she said skeptically.

Although she was unwavering in court, Elizabeth Donnelly's characteristic glare had the ability to shake even the most staunch attorney. Additionally, the woman had caught her off-guard. Alex cleared her throat of any signs of nervousness. "Umm, yes, I'm fine, Liz. My car's just being serviced."

Donnelly raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Okay then..." She was interrupted by Olivia entering the room.

"Alex... Liz," she greeted, walking over towards Alex's desk. "I'm sorry to interrupt..."

"Don't worry Olivia. I was just checking to make sure everything was squared away for court tomorrow."

"Yes, everything's ready."

"Okay, I'll let you two get out of here then. Olivia, I hope Alex's car's ready soon so you're not stuck playing her chauffeur. I know how busy the precinct's been."

A look of confusion flashed across Olivia's face, which she quickly masked. "Right, uh, the mechanic said it'll be ready later on today. Uh, see you later Liz." The couple scurried out of Alex's office to avoid further interrogation.

Elizabeth Donnelly smiled to herself, knowing very well she had parked next to Alex's Lexus that morning. She made a mental note to chastise her attorney later for not thinking well on her toes.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Alex Cabot-Benson," the nurse called. Alex stood up and grabbed Olivia's hand, following the young woman out of the waiting room. She seated the two in a private room, taking Alex's temperature, blood pressure, height, weight, and a blood sample before leaving them with the promise that Dr. Gil would be in soon. While they waited, Olivia flipped through a _Parents_ magazine. She smiled widely, looking up from the page. "Hey Alex!"

"Yeah babe?"

"Did you know that at six weeks the baby's heart is already beating?"

"Really?" Alex said with an awe-filled smile, instinctually sliding her hand on to her stomach. Olivia nodded enthusiastically before returning to the page.

"He or she is now the size of a grain of rice."

"That's so tiny!"

Dr. Gil entered the room. She was a young herself; the first time Olivia had seen her, she questioned whether or not she was even old enough to be out of medical school. Yet she had proved to be competent and was highly recommended by Kathy, who had seen her for her pregnancy with Eli. "Very small," the doctor agreed with Alex, "but most certainly there. Blood test confirms that you are definitely pregnant. She smiled at the two women. "Usually I don't see mothers until the eighth week, but as your mother experienced preeclampsia during her pregnancy, I wanted to get you in here a bit early." She noticed the couple share a panicked glance. "Don't worry," she reassured, "everything appears perfectly normal. It was just a precaution." Alex and Olivia both let out the breath they hadn't realized they'd been holding. "Okay then, based on the date of the insemination, I would say you're due around January 11, give or take, so you'll be nice and pregnant for the holiday season."

Alex groaned. "At least you'll be warm with all of that insulation babe," Olivia snickered, earning her a smack in the head.

Dr. Gil stifled a laugh, knowing how sensitive many mothers – first time mothers especially – could be. "It's still early on, but have you been experiencing any body changes yet, Alex?"

"Morning sickness. Just nausea at first but I wound up getting sick several times this morning."

Dr. Gil gave her a sympathetic smile. "Unfortunately that's to be expected. It should fade away around your second trimester. Until then, just try to keep hydrated and stick with mild foods. Also..." she leaned over and grabbed a pamphlet off of the counter, "here's a list of things to avoid for the remainder of your pregnancy. No smoking or drinking. Run any medications you may have to take by me in advance, including over-the-counter drugs. Stay away from caffeine. Then there's a list of foods to avoid: certain meats and cheeses, fish, etc. Avoid dying or highlighting your hair, at least for the first trimester. And unfortunately no hot tubs this summer." Alex nodded. She'd have little trouble avoiding all of those things except one; with many late nights spent on court cases, coffee had become her elixir. But she was willing to give that up – anything up for that matter – for the safety of her child.

"In terms of things to do, continue with a vitamin regiment, eat well, _try_ not to stress and get enough sleep. I imagine those will be most difficult for you. Oh, and exercise."

Alex nodded, "Olivia's already signed us up for some kind of pregnancy yoga thing."

"Very good! Do you two have any other questions then?" The two turned to one another questioningly, but then shook their heads in unison. "Okay, I'll see you both in one month then. And Olivia, I wish you luck. The next few weeks will take a bit of adjusting to."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Mr. Clemings, can you please tell me where you were the night of May 12?"

"I was at Hannah's apartment."

Alex nodded staunchly. "Hannah Wimbledon. And what were you doing there?"

"We were home from a date."

"No, Mr. Clemings, Hannah was returning home to _her_ apartment after a failed date with you. She didn't want you to stay, did she?"

"That's not true!"

"Is it, Mr. Clemings? Do you deny the eye witness's statement that Hannah was yelling at you to leave?"

"Well, I..."

"Do you deny that you were holding her by the wrists, pushing her into the apartment as the physical evidence suggests?"

"I don't know..."

"And once you got into that apartment, do you deny the fact that you pulled Ms. Wimbledon into her bedroom, tied her down?

"I don't remember!"

"You don't remember raping her and then beating her to death to cover up what you had done?"

"Objection, Langan yelled, "Argumentative."

"Sustained," Judge Petrovsky deemed. "Watch it Ms. Cabot."

Alex nodded cooly, pacing in front of the defendant. Olivia smiled. Alex had him right where she wanted him. Despite Langan's objection, she had gotten Clemings completely irate, the state at which he seemed to slip up most on his lies. Alex now looked like a lion stalking its prey... Olivia had to admit it was extremely sexy.

"Mr. Clemings," she said calmly, "can you please tell us where you were when you were arrested by Detectives Benson and Stabler?"

"...the garbage dump."

"Do you recognize this scarf," she said, holding up exhibit B of the evidence.

"Yes... Hannah wore it on our date. She... gave it to me."

"She gave you a blood-covered scarf?"

The defendant remained silent, looking down. There was a pause. Olivia noticed that Alex suddenly looked extremely pale and her eyes had widened considerably.

"Ms. Cabot, are you alright?" Judge Petrovsky asked questioningly.

Alex nodded, steadying herself. "Mr. Clemings, why did you bring this blood-covered scarf to..." She stopped suddenly, breathing deeply.

"Ms. Cabot..."

"Your Honor, we request a brief recess."

"Objection," shouted Langan snidely, "Your Honor, my client is in the middle of questioning. We cannot allow a recess just so Ms. Cabot can formulate a new line of inquiry."

Judge Petrovsky recognized however that something was awry. Though the young ADA pushed boundaries, she certainly understood and upheld the values of the court. "Council approach," she called.

Olivia watched as the judge entered a discussion with Alex and Langan. It looked calm enough... Elliot nudged her. "What's up with Alex?"

Olivia shrugged, "I honestly have no idea."

A minute or so later, Petrovsky sent Alex and a very irritated Langan away from her stand. "We will recess until the start of business day tomorrow." Before she had even banged her gavel, Alex was rushing out of the courtroom. Concerned, Olivia shuffled through the crowd and followed quickly behind her.

Women's restroom. She should've guessed. Sighing, she followed Alex into the stall and tried to soothe the whimpering blond.

"I hate things," Alex groaned before retching again.

"I know sweetie, I'm sorry," Olivia lamented calmly. A few minutes later, they headed back into the lobby of the courthouse. Fin was waiting there with Alex's briefcase, which she had forgotten in her rush. They thanked him and muttered an excuse of a stomach bug before heading out the back of the building to avoid the press that Alex was in no way fit to deal with. When they got back to the apartment, Olivia helped Alex change into some comfortable clothes – one of her old NYPD tee shirts – and settled the wearied attorney into bed. She returned a few minutes later with a copy of _What To Expect When You're Expecting_ and a mug of tea, the latter of which she handed to Alex. The blond smiled appreciatively, taking a sip of the warm liquid.

"Mmm, this is delicious. What kind of tea is this?"

"Peppermint."

A/N: Any thoughts? Thanks so much for all of your reviews and supports thus far. Also, there's a **poll** up on my profile regarding the baby's gender.


	8. Chapter 7: Capturing Moods

A/N: The song for this chapter is "Capturing Moods" by Rilo Kiley. Also, the last section is borderline M so be warned (I can't write smut though, so shouldn't burn your eyes out, lol)

**Chapter 7: Capturing Moods**

"Olivia!" the brunette heard Alex yell from the bathroom. _Shit_, she thought to herself, dropping her bagel and rushing full-speed down the hallway.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Did you slip? Are you hurt?" Olivia babbled, completely panicked. Alex was standing near the sink, one hand poised flippantly on her hip, the other holding a tube of toothpaste. She glowered at her wife.

"What is this," she barked, holding the object up.

"Toothpaste..." Olivia said cautiously.

Alex nodded sharply. "And why was it left on the counter?"

Uh oh. Olivia bit her bottom lip nervously, trying to figure out the best way to approach this situation. "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie," she apologized, moving to take the toiletry from Alex's hand, "I must have forgotten to put it away.

Alex snatched her hand back angrily. "Oh, _forgot_! That's great," she responded sarcastically, "So, I should just prepare myself for when you _forget_ to pick up diapers or _forget_ when to feed the baby... or hell, I should probably make sure to text you a reminder so you don't _forget_ to show up to the birth itself!"

Olivia sighed heavily. "Alex..." she groaned, knowing her attempts were futile at this point. Over the past week, it seemed that anything could set Alex off. Last night, it had been the fact that Olivia had inadvertently stolen most of the comforter in her sleep ("Don't worry, I'm not cold or anything..."). The day before, she apparently was supposed to know to pick up Alex's clothes even though she hadn't even been aware that they were at the dry cleaners ("What the hell am I supposed to wear to court now, Liv?" she had screamed, nearing the point of breakdown). And Olivia wasn't the only one vulnerable to this rage. When Elliot had asked her for a warrant the other day, she had practically bit his head off ("And how do you expect me to get that _detective_? You want me to grab some freaking evidence out of midair?" And God help any defense attorney or perp who went up against her – actually, that was one allocation of anger Olivia didn't mind.

"I'm sorry Alex. I haven't slept. It must have slipped my..."

"_You_ haven't slept," Alex interrupted, completely irate, "I've been up since three this morning puking my guts out, Olivia!"

"I know baby. I'm sorry," she said, slowly and cautiously moving to give Alex a comforting hug. She was met by the attorney's hands pressing against her shoulders, pushing her away.

"Don't! They _hurt_!" Alex explained.

"Alex, what are you talking about?" Olivia breathed, frustrated, furrowing her brow.

"My boobs," Alex moaned, clasping her hands over her swollen chest.

"Honey, that's normal..."

Suddenly, Alex broke down into tears. "This... is all... your fault," the blonde hiccuped, sobs quickening. Olivia started to reach out for her but then stopped, utterly confused as to what to do. She sighed heavily, running her fingers through her caramel brown hair. This was going to be a long morning.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Needless to say, the couple was late for work. Liz Donnelly watched as the detective dropped off several heavy volumes of law cases onto her wife's desk. As she went to leave, Olivia hesitated, deciding after a few seconds to place a tentative kiss on the attorney's cheek. The blonde seemed thoroughly uninterested and was already sorting through a pile of paperwork as the brunette muttered a quick goodbye. Donnelly waited for the detective to exit and head towards the 1-6 before stepping into the ADA's office. Perching herself on the arm of Alex's leather sofa, she watched as the younger blonde shuffled through her briefcase in search of a document. As if she were discussing the weather – and without so much as a "hello" – she asked, "So Alex, when are you due?" Alex swung around immediately, eyes wide as a deer in the headlights, jaw dropped.

"How did you... what are you... I'm not pre..." she stuttered.

"Cut the shit, Cabot. I've been working in law for forty years now. I can tell when someone's lying."

Alex sighed heavily, lifting her black-rimmed glasses to rub the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Liz, _please_ keep this quiet. Olivia and I aren't ready to tell anyone yet until I'm further along.

Donnelly smirked, satisfied, "And how far along would that be?"

"Eleven weeks." She paused for a moment. "How did you know..."

"Well, you've denied every drink offered to you over the past couple of months with bogus excuses. You can hardly scarf down a graham cracker without looking queasy. And poor Olivia's been dancing around you on eggshells for the past couple of weeks." She watched Alex grimace and then added with a smile, "Plus a claim for several OBGYN appointments just went through insurance." Alex shook her head; she couldn't even be shocked. "I'll let you finish your prep," Donnelly said, reopening the door, "Your secret's safe with me. But be careful Alex; remember where you work. I wouldn't be surprised if some of Olivia's fellow detectives have an inkling as well."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"So how's Hurricane Alex?" Elliot asked his partner as they walked back to the precinct after interviewing a victim.

Olivia groaned. "Let's just say with the way things are going, you may be investigating my homicide sometime soon."

Elliot snickered, slapping her on the shoulder. "Don't worry partner. This part's the worst. At least until the delivery room that is." He watched Olivia's eyes widen. "On a brighter note, how are the plans working out for tonight?" he asked, stopping her so he could order some coffee from a street kiosk.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "Pretty well, I guess. I don't even think she remembers what today is."

"I'm sure she'll love it," Elliot reassured her, handing her a cup. The two headed back into the precinct, poised to face the rest of a very long day.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Liv?" Alex called, entering the apartment. She tossed her keys down onto the counter. "Are you home?" Met with silence, she sighed, slightly relieved to have some time to herself. She was utterly exhausted – entire body completely sore, hadn't eaten all day, and was working on a really painful headache. All she wanted to do right now was take a nice long bath and then curl up on in bed and read.

When she got to the bedroom, however, Alex was shocked to find her favorite blue dress laying out on the bed. Lying on top of it was a post it note. Olivia's handwriting. It read: "Alex, put this on and head to your car. There's an address programed into you GPS. Meet me there at 8. Love you, Liv." _What in the world was she up to?_ Alex furrowed her brow at the note. _Only one way to find out_. Alex changed into the dress, pleased by the fact that it still fit even though she knew she already must have gained a couple of pounds. She then took some time to fix her hair, curling the blond locks and pulling them up partially so they framed her face. She then grabbed a pair of Jimmy Choos – comfortable but stylish – and grabbed her purse, ready to embark on the adventure her lovely wife had sent her on. When she got to her car, she couldn't help from smile. Stuck to the GPS was another post-it: "Can't wait to see you, Gorgeous!" Turning on the device, she found an address she couldn't identify. Though tempted to google it on her smartphone, she decided not to spoil the surprise and instead aimlessly followed the directions the automatonic voice told her to. 10 minutes later, she pulled up to a small Italian restaurant. Waiting outside the doors was Olivia. Alex felt her breath catch in the back of her throat. Her wife looked stunning, the breeze messing her shoulder-length hair slightly as she stood there with a large smile; she was wearing a deep red, halter dress – a dress that Alex mentioned once was her favorite for the way it hugged each and every curve, accenting her natural beauty. After parking her car, she hurried across the parking lot to met her. Olivia pulled her into a romantic kiss, wrapping her arms tightly around the blonde. Pulling away slightly, she leaned over to whisper into Alex's ear, "You look beautiful."

Alex tried to absorb the situation as she let Olivia guide her into the building and up the stairs. Awaiting the couple was a scenic and splendidly adorned rooftop patio. A chain of white lights glimmered on the overhang, illuminating a simply set table for two, decorated only by a simply white table cloth and a bouquet of flowers. A waiter moved to help them both into there seats. "What is all this?" Alex sputtered, completely overwhelmed.

Olivia smiled sweetly. "Happy birthday."

Alex felt like she had been hit by a ton of bricks. She thought back to this morning when Olivia had leaned over her in their bed, about to say something when Alex shoved her off, making a mad dash to the bathroom. She hadn't even given Olivia a chance before starting the infamous toothpaste argument. With everything going on – the physical and emotional changes she was already experiencing – Alex felt like she had been in a blur the past couple of weeks. The fact that it was her birthday completely slipped her mind – she couldn't even remember what day of the week it was half of the time. She was so overwhelmed and she realized now how much of that stress she had been unduly taking out on Olivia, who was the furthest from deserving it. She felt a few tears slip from her eyes.

"Hey, don't cry baby," she heard Olivia say softly, leaning over to wipe them from her cheeks with the pad of her thumbs.

"I am so sorry, Liv!" Alex sobbed, "I've been such a bitch to you lately. I can't believe..."

Olivia offered a sweet smile, taking Alex's hands between her own. "Alex, I love you so much. I can't imagine how you've been feeling. It's okay, baby. I'm with you through all of this. I promise."

Waterworks. Alex leaned over and kissed Olivia hard on her mouth. "I love you too. You're incredible. I don't deserve this at all. I've been... psychotic."

"Of course you do." She smiled, "And anyway, I knew that crazy came with the package." Grabbing a bottle of apple cider, she continued, "Now, let's get this party started."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

_(Last section)_

"You're such a romantic," Alex teased, pressing herself closer against Olivia and capturing her lips. "Who did your dirty work?" The couple had come home to a dozen roses in a glass vase sitting on their bedside table, melting candles illuminating the room.

"Elliot may have owned me big time for some past favors."

"I'll say," Alex chuckled before Olivia silenced her with another passionate kiss. Things became heated quickly. Alex fumbled with the zipper on Olivia's dress and the brunette helped in freeing herself from the unwanted garment, revealing a black lace bra and matching set of boy shorts. Alex loved Olivia's ability to mix the masculine with the feminine, protector with comforter, hard and soft. She ravenously began placing heated kisses up and down her collar bone, sucking gently on her olive skin. She heard Olivia moan softly, moving to remove Alex's own clothing. Within seconds, the blond was equally bare. Olivia couldn't help but take a moment to stare at her wife, to admire the fullness that her body had assumed. Olivia dragged her hands down the blonde's sides slowly, taking in each and every new curve she was gaining. When she got to her abdomen, Olivia smiled, noticing the very slightest bump that was beginning to appear. She kneeled down between Alex's legs and placed a kiss on her stomach. Looking up into Alex's cerulean pools, she intertwined their hands and breathed, "You are _so_ beautiful."Alex slid up onto the bed and Olivia took little time in moving to hover over her. Unlatching her white lace bra, she stripped her partner of the garment and palmed her soft breasts. She noticed Alex wince against her touch. "I'm sorry," she whispered, moving her hands to Alex's hips. "Are you okay, baby? We can stop if you're not feeling up to it." Alex shook her head, guiding Olivia's hands to remove her panties.

She let Olivia worship her body, returning the favor with a night of passionate love making. After a couple of weeks, the two could hardly keep their hands off of one another and were both eager to physically express their affection. As she lay in Olivia's arms later that night, perfectly content, she felt Olivia's hand slide off of her hip and onto her abdomen, rubbing small and gentle circles.

"I love you, Olivia," she murmured tiredly.

"I love you so much, Alex. Both of you," Olivia whispered back, pressing her lips against Alex's shoulder blade. Alex smiled, moving her hand to grasp the last part Olivia's birthday present: a simple sterling silver necklace composed of three entwined circles – one representing the couple and the smallest, the new addition to their family.

A/N: I totally screwed up with the **poll** and didn't publish it to my page initially but it's there now! Let me know if you have an opinion as to the baby's sex. Right now it's 2-1 in favor of a girl based on my reviews/the poll. Thank you very much for your continual support! Hope you are enjoying!


	9. Chapter 8: Whisper, Part 1

A/N: I've used "Babes" (Season 10 Ep 6) for this chapter with alteration. The song is ""Whisper by A Fine Frenzy

**Chapter 8: Whisper, Pt. 1**

Alex pouted, struggling once more with the zipper of her pencil skirt. "Liv!" she called, her frustration evident by here tone.

"Yeah babe?" Olivia asked, entering the bedroom.

"It doesn't fit," the blonde whined, jumping slightly in an attempt to force the fastening together.

Olivia couldn't help but giggle slightly at the sight. "Hang on sweetie. Let me see if I can get it." She placed her coffee mug down on the dresser and stood behind Alex, fiddling with the zipper. Alex tried to suck her stomach in to help but their efforts were without avail. "Sorry Alex, I don't think this is going to work." Alex groaned, leaning back against Olivia, who wrapped her arms around her wife's very small but more and more noticeable bump. "Our little Peanut is getting big," she smiled, rocking Alex side to side.

Alex grinned, placing her hands on top of Olivia's. "He or she is going to make me get a new wardrobe soon enough. Looks like I'm wearing pants today however." She turned to peck Olivia on the lips before heading back to their closet.

"We can go today after our appointment if you'd like," Olivia called to her, taking a sip of her drink, "Speaking of which, how long do you think you're going to be able to keep covering up the pregnancy."

Alex reemerged from the closet holding a pair of gray slacks. "I don't know. Probably not long." She sighed. "It's probably safe to tell them now. I just don't know how to do it. Any thoughts," she asked, moving over to Olivia to straighten the collar of her blouse.

"Eh, I'm not sure. We'll think of something," she replied, kissing Alex's forehead. "Ready for work?" The blonde nodded and the two headed off to their offices.

They were met with the fury of a new case. "Elliot and John have an interesting subject in interrogation. You wanna watch?" Cragen asked the two.

"It's what I live for," Olivia responded as he guided the two down the hall briefing them on the case. Young homeless man, schizophrenic, who had his genitals mutilated before he was set on fire. As they reached interrogation, they were interrupted by a frantic young Italian woman.

"Hey! Who's in charge here?" she asked, rushing down the hallway as fast as she could in her pair of high heels.

"Can I help you?" Cragen responded calmly.

"Yeah! You've got my boy. Can I see him?"

"What's his name?"

"What's your name," she responded snarkily. Alex couldn't help but roll her eyes. She already couldn't stand this woman.

"Donald Cragen, Captain of SVU."

"His name is Alec Bernardi."

Cragen sighed. "Mrs. Bernardi, your son is in custody. You can see him after we're done questioning him."

"You can't do that without me there," she clipped.

"Actually we can," Alex interjected, "Your son's over sixteen so legally there's no obligation for parental presence during interrogation."

"Who's this blond bitch?" the woman snapped, taking a step towards Alex. Olivia's eyes widened fiercely as she stepped in front of Alex. Before she could say anything, Cragen placed an arm in front of her.

"This is Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot. She may ultimately be trying your son's case, Mrs. Bernardi, so I'd suggest you take it down a notch."

"He's just a kid! He doesn't know what to do. He must be scared to death!" she exclaimed.

Cragen shook his head. "Scared is not exactly the word I'd use," he muttered, "Mrs. Bernardi you can come with me until your son is out of questioning. Detective Benson, Ms. Cabot, please feel free to continue to interrogation.

When the two were out of sight, poor Cragen stuck with the bickering and incensed broad, Olivia shook her head. "Well, that one's a trip."

Alex sighed in agreement. "I'm going to head back to my office. I'm going to have a lot of work if it turns out that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I'll see you at two?"

"Yep, see you then," Olivia smiled, before heading over to the double-sided mirror. This was going to be interesting.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Hey, I am so sorry I'm late," Olivia apologized breathlessly, hurrying into the examination room. She walked over to Alex's side and placed a kiss first on Alex's forehead and then her bump.

"It's okay baby, you didn't miss anything," Alex said with a smile.

"Good," Olivia sighed with relief, "You wouldn't believe that Bernardi family. The mom – crazier than she seemed. And the daughter, impregnated by Joshua Galli – intentionally, because she and her friends thought it would be cool to be pregnant together."

Alex's eyes widened. "How old is she?"

"Sixteen."

"That would have been statutory rape had Galli not been murdered. What about the other girls?"

"Well, I met with two of them. Both got pregnant from boy's in their class. Yet to meet the ring leader though – Fidelia Vidal. I'm meeting with her later this afternoon."

"What in the world have we stepped into?" Olivia shrugged. Before they could continue the conversation, Dr. Gil entered the room.

"Hello ladies!" she greeted cheerfully, "Are you ready to see your baby today?" Both nodded eagerly. "Okay then, just a few things beforehand. Let's take a look at that belly of your, Alex. Lie down on the table." Alex complied, lifting her shirt to expose a small but markedly present bump. Dr. Gil took a few moments to feel around her abdomen, marking down a few measurements. "Okay, everything looks great from the outside. And how have you been feeling?"

"Much better the past week or so. I have a bit more energy."

"Yep, second trimester a bit of a honeymoon phase. I'm sure the both of you will appreciate it. Okay, well, since everything looks normal," she said, glancing at the tests the nurse had performed earlier, "I won't keep you two waiting any longer." Olivia and Alex both were unable to contain their excitement, large smiles plastered on both of their faces. Alex eased back down on the table, propped up against a couple of pillows. Olivia leaned over to take her wife's hand. "Okay Alex, this may be a bit cold." The blonde shuddered slightly from the sensation of the cold ultrasound gel. Dr. Gil rolled over a small machine and began to move the applicator around Alex's small belly. A few seconds later, a soft, rhythmic thud filled the room. "That's your baby's heartbeat," Dr. Gil said with a smile. Alex couldn't believe it. Although she had known that she was pregnant for a couple of months now, it hadn't felt completely real until this point. She was carrying a baby – a tiny, living baby. Feeling her eyes getting glassy, she turned to look at Olivia, who was also choking back tears. Dr. Gil flipped a switch on the machine, turning on the monitor screen. An image of fluxing gray waves appears. "One moment..." the doctor muttered, trying to focus the image. "There. Alex, Olivia, take a look at your baby." Within that nebulous swirl was the image of something resembling an infant. Alex felt her breath catch as Dr. Gil pointed out the head, the feet, the little hands. She felt Olivia squeeze her hand. Taking a moment to tear her eyes from the screen, she looked at the brunette, who was similarly fixated. "That's our baby, Alex," she almost whispered, "that's _our_ baby."

Alex turned back to watch the image, which was now moving around. "I... I can't believe it," she stuttered, almost speechless from momentousness. She watched as her child moved his or her hand to what appeared to be their mouth. "Are they...sucking their thumb?"

Dr. Gil smiled. "Yep, some babies do that in-utero." She watched happily as the couple continued fixate on their child. Reluctant to interrupt this precious moment, but knowing as well this may be equally exciting for them, she interjected, "So, are you two interested in finding out the baby's sex today?" Alex and Olivia looked at one another in shock before nodding vehemently.

After the sex was disclosed, Alex could no longer help the tears from streaming down her cheeks. Though she presented herself as being poised and dignified, this moment completely destroyed that facade. After all she and Liv had been through, from dancing around each other's feelings to nearly losing each other forever during the Velez case to finally deciding to start a family, she had never felt so utterly happy. She was going to have a child with a woman she loved more than life itself. Dr. Gil printed the couple a few ultrasound images and finished cleaning Alex up before leaving the room to give the two some private time with one another. When she was gone, Olivia stood up in front of Alex, looking at her in what could only be described as in awe. She moved her hands to Alex's, intertwining their fingers and placing them upon her bump. The two remained in peaceful silence for a moment, resting their foreheads against one another and looking at Alex's belly as though they could see right through it to the precious thing lying inside. A few minutes later, Olivia kissed Alex passionately, the saltiness of each of their happy tears melding in both of their mouths. "You are _amazing_," Olivia murmured against her lips before moving to rest her lips on Alex's stomach. In that moment, Olivia realized that she would protect those two with her life, no matter what it came down to.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

The ecstatic couple returned back to the NYPD headquarters that evening after taking a quick pit stop to pick up some maternity clothes for Alex. They walked hand-in-hand into the precinct, an uncommon display of affection in the workplace when it came to them. At this point, however, the two could hardly keep their eyes off of one another, let alone their hands.

"What are you two so giddy about?" Munch asked, looking up from his newest book on the Kennedy assassination.

"Nothing much," Olivia responded, attempting to be nonchalant, "Just doing so shopping. Picked up something for my desk."

"Never thought you were one for shopping," Fin said skeptically, "What are you so excited about?"

Olivia just smiled, pulling out a frame from her desk which she placed next a photo of herself and Alex on their wedding day. Without a word, she returned to Alex's side, wrapping her arm around her waist. Fin raised an eyebrow, walking across room to see what was going on. Reaching across Olivia's desk, he picked up the small black frame and flipped it over. An ultrasound image. "Wait a second. This isn't what I think it is..."

Meeting the gaze of two very confused detectives, Alex simply opened her jacket, revealing her small bump that was now quite visible under the tight knit sweater she had changed into.

Chuckling at the drop jaws of her colleagues, Olivia exclaimed, "You guys, meet baby Cabot-Benson, our little..."

A/N: Cliffhanger :P Last chance to vote on the baby's sex. Reviews are also _greatly_ appreciated!


	10. Chapter 9: Whisper, Part 2

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the wait. I was stuck on what to do with the results of the poll because it wound up being a 50/50 tie! I didn't want to wait any longer to see if it would change, so I decided it would be fair to just flip a coin at this point. Here you have it!

**Chapter 9: Whisper, Part II**

Chuckling at the drop jaws of her colleagues, Olivia exclaimed, "You guys, meet baby Cabot-Benson, our little girl."

Fin was the first to respond. With an uncharacteristically large smile, he placed the frame back on the desk and walked over to the anticipant couple. "Congratulations," he bellowed, pulling them each into a hug. He looked at Alex and gestured to her stomach, "May I?" The blonde nodded and Fin placed a palm on her stomach. "Hey baby girl. Welcome to the family."

Munch stood up from his desk and headed over to the group. "If I had known you two had been in the market, I would have been glad to provide you with a donation," he said with a smirk.

"They don't want your crazy-ass sperm," Fin said, slapping Olivia on the shoulder. The couple chuckled and Munch shot Fin a glare. "Well, congrats anyway," he said with a smile, hugging Alex. "Mazel tov," he said, doing the same to Olivia.

"What's with the pow-wow?" Cragen said, entering the squad room with Elliot in tow. Munch and Fin looked at the pair expectantly.

Olivia took a deep breath. "Well, Captain, let's just say in a few months Elliot won't be the only one on diaper duty," she explained with a small smile. Cragen's eyes widened as what his detective just told him registered, gazing at his ADA's swollen stomach. He then broke out into a large grin and hurried over to give Olivia a bear hug.

"You're on desk duty, this point on."

"Cap, I'm not even the one whose's pregnant!" Olivia said in shock. Cragen sighed.

"Fine, but you're going to be extremely careful then. This little one's going to need you safe and sound," he said, placing a hand on Alex's belly.

"Don't worry Cap, we got her back," Fin said. The rest of the boys nodded in agreement.

Cragen smiled and turned to Alex, "Congratulations!"

"Thanks Don," she said, giving him a hug.

Elliot smiled at the exchanges occurring in front of him. "So you two, any words on the sex?"

"A girl," Alex beamed.

Elliot smiled widely and gave his partner a congratulatory slap on the back. "Looks like Eli's going to have a little girlfriend."

Olivia glared at him, moving over to her wife's side, "Don't even think about it, El. I know how you Stabler boys can be," she said playfully, placing her arm protectively around Alex's bump.

"Not even born yet and Liv's already all protective," Munch teased.

"You expect anything else," Fin said with a chuckle.

"I think this all deserves a celebration. Leave the work for tomorrow. Drinks at McGregor's, my treat." He turned at look down at Alex protectively, "Except for you of course young lady." Olivia smiled at Cragen, touched by how much her surrogate father figure looked out for she and Alex alike. Grabbing Alex's hand, she and the group headed out to the bar to welcome the newest member of the 1-6.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Olivia... Liv... baby..." Olivia rustled underneath the covers before prying her eyes open to discover the source of the whispers that invaded her sleep. She was met by a set of anticipant blue eyes leaning over her.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing up right now? Is everything okay?" she asked nervously, placing a hand on Alex's stomach. The blonde nodded vigorously.

"Do we have any bacon?"

"What?" Olivia asked, blinking her eyes from both fatigue and confusion.

"Bacon. Do we have any?"

"Baby," she yawned, running her fingers through the ends of Alex's long golden hair. "It's three in the morning. You don't even like bacon."

"But I want it," Alex whined, "The baby wants it."

Olivia yawned again, starting to close her eyes. "Then I'll get it for you in the morning..." she muttered, starting to doze off.

"Please Liv!" she said, shaking Olivia gently, "I'm starving. And technically it is morning."

Olivia groaned, pulling herself up so she was leaning against the headboard of their bed. She held both of Alex's hands and looked her wife dead in the eyes, "And you want me to get up, go to the store, bring home bacon, and make it for you right _now_."

Alex pouted. "For the baby too."

Olivia sighed heavily, shaking her head as she pulled herself from the comfort of the blankets. "You are crazy," she said, slipping on a pair of sneakers and grabbing her jacket.

Alex smiled, satisfied, "But you love me."

Fifteen minutes later, Olivia returned from the 24-hour market located a few blocks from their house. Dragging her exhausted body back into the apartment, she turned on the stove top and started to fry some bacon. She took a sip of the coffee she had picked up as well, struggling to stay awake so as to not burn the house down.

A few minutes later, she dropped the finished product onto a plate and, without even bothering to clean up, headed back to the bedroom. Pulling open the door, she grumbled, "Here you are Your Highness, bacon fresh of the..." She stopped mid-sentence and couldn't help chuckle at the sight. Alex was out cold, her arm draped over where Olivia normally lay, blonde hair covering her face. The brunette smiled softly, placing the plate on the dresser before crawling back into bed and wrapping her arms around her partner. A few minutes later, just as Olivia was dozing back off, she felt Alex move uncomfortably before mumbling:

"Ugh, could you please get rid of whatever that is. The smell's making me sick."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Yeah it was my idea. It rocks, huh? We're totally gonna be the hottest MILFs on the block." Olivia felt her eyes widen and struggled to keep her jaw from dropping. This girl couldn't be serious... Taking the detective's astonished expression as confusion, Fidelia Vidal explained, "It means mother I'd like too..."

"Oh, I know what it means," Olivia interrupted. Without a care in the world, the young girl stood up, her pregnant stomach bulging against a teal green t-shirt. She had to be at least seven or eight months along.

"Want to see the stroller I picked out? It's so cute." Olivia sighed, irritated. She had to at least try to get the seriousness of this situation through this teenager's head. She pulled on Fidelia's shoulder gently, stopping her.

"You need to screw your head on straight. This is a baby we're talking about, not a new shade of lipstick..."

"Don't say another word, angel," the father interrupted, "Are you charging my daughter with something detective, because I don't like your tone."

Olivia bit her tongue. She couldn't believe this family's nonchalant attitude – their _child_ was pregnant for God's sake. If her daughter was knocked up by some low life... she couldn't even think about it. She wanted to shake some sense into this whole family, however she knew she couldn't push too hard. They needed more information for the case and she couldn't risk getting kicked out by a hormonal and immature teenager and her equally oblivious parents. "I'm just here to ask a few questions, Mr. Vidal," she said politely (though with a vague sense of sarcasm).

"Daddy, let her ask. I'm fine."

"Good," Olivia said, smiling slightly at the father. "Fidelia, why don't we talk about the father of the baby, huh?"

"So what's your story?" the girl snipped, avoiding the question.

"Excuse me?"

"You have kids? You're pretty old," Fidelia asked sassily. Olivia fumed inwardly. She was not going to banter with a sixteen-year-old child.

"We're here to talk about you," she said, trying to redirect the subject.

"I bet you're jealous. Old chicks are totally jealous of me." That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Olivia wasn't jealous – not one bit. She was the happiest she had ever been, expecting a beautiful baby girl with her Alex. But she couldn't believe how lightly Fidelia and her family was taking this pregnancy. Hell, she was a forty-one year old woman in an established relationship and was still terrified about having a baby. "Is that it? Did you wait too long? Tick tock."

"Fidelia," Olivia breathed, trying to contain her anger, "A baby is not an accessory. It is not a bracelet or a pair of earrings or a slammin' pair of jeans." She thought about the ultrasound, about the tiny, tiny heartbeat she and Alex were _responsible_ for caring for. She was mature and reliable and still doubted her abilities to do that everyday. "This is a living, breathing human being that you are bringing onto this earth?"

"You think I don't know that," Fidelia pouted, placing her hands on her hips. She looked like a petulant toddler.

Olivia's eye's widened. "If you did, you'd be petrified about your future! Do you know the odds of a teen mom finishing high school? Forget college or any other dream you might have. Life as you know it is over." And it was for her too. It wasn't just her and Alex anymore. With every decision, the baby came first now. Not that she minded – she already loved this child with every ounce of her being, but would she makes the right choices for her? Sighing, Olivia returned her thoughts to Fidelia. "There's no going to the mall or hanging out with your friends. I mean you might see them but if you do it'll probably be in line waiting for food stamps or all of you going to the doctor, trying to get an appointment at the free clinic..." Line crossed.

"Daddy, make her be quiet," the girl whined, moving behind the protection of her father.

"That's it, detective," Mr. Vidal fumed.

But Olivia was on a tirade at this point. "Do you know the health risks to babies born to teen moms?" She rattled off the different disorders she had been reading about in the pregnancy books, "Dyslexia, retardation, um, increased risk of blindness, cerebral palsy."

"Don't you try to blame my daughter! She's just a child."

"That's my point exactly." The argument was interrupted by Fidelia's boyfriend, storming into the apartment and inquiring as to whether or not the rumors were true, if she was pregnant. After a tear-filled encounter, it was revealed to the shock of the Vidals that he was not the father. Olivia shook her head – another lead lost. She headed back to the precinct, not even bothering to wait for the still-incensed Mr. Vidal to guide her out.

Once she entered the 1-6, she went straight to Cragen's office, where he and Alex were discussing the charges for Alec Bernardi. "Cap, just a heads up, the Vidals may be filing a complaint." Without another word, she left the room as swiftly as she came, leaving a very perplexed captain and ADA. As Cragen stood up to follow her, Alex held up a hand and took his place, locating the detective down the hall near the interrogation room. She looked visibly stressed – her hair out of place, dark circles forming under her eyes, mouth grimaced. Alex placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Liv, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Olivia grunted. Alex's piercing stare – the one characteristic of her courtroom interrogations – met hers. Olivia sighed, "It's just that Vidal family. They could give a shit their daughter is pregnant. The girl's going to treat that baby like a doll and the parents are blinded by... I don't even know what. This case is just so fucked up!"

Alex frowned and grabbed her wife's shoulder, pulling her gently into the closest interrogation room. "Olivia, seriously, what else is wrong? You're getting really worked up about this." She met her eyes, softly this time. "I'm worried about you."

Olivia took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair – a nervous habit. Alex continued to analyze her demeanor and was shocked to see what almost looked like fear in her eyes. "I'm – I'm worried I'm going to screw up," the brunette muttered.

"Sweetheart, what are you talking about? The case is going..."

Olivia shook her head violently. She hesitated. "No – no, not with the case. With... the baby."

"Wh...what? I thought you were excited about this..." Alex sad nervously.

Noticing the worry on her wife's face, Olivia grabbed one of her hands and then quickly clarified, "No, I mean, yes, I'm _so_ happy about this. You and this baby, you two are my world now Alex." She paused. "But that scares me too." Alex caressed Olivia's cheek and the brunette broke her gaze, staring uncomfortably – almost self-consciously. "I – I don't want to hurt her."

"Olivia, you would never..."

"What if I'm like my mother, Alex?" Olivia said, panicky, "I don't want her to hurt like that. I don't want you to hurt like that. I don't know what I'm doing Alex. There's so many ways I can mess this up!" Her eyes began to well up.

Alex felt her heart sink. "Whoa, whoa, baby!" she responded softly, placing her hands on either side of Olivia's face. "Look at me. You are _not_ your mother." She enunciated, trying to permanently imbed these words in Olivia's mind. "You are not going to hurt this baby or me because you are – _you_. The woman who risks her life to save victims, who stood by and waited for me while I was in WPP and helped me recover afterwards, who saved your partner's life and that of her son's. You are not abusive or a drunk, nor does a bone in your body have the capacity to be. I love you Olivia Benson. And you love me and this baby. Sure, we're going to fuck up sometimes, but then we're going to fix it. We're in this together, Liv." By this point, a long time's worth of pent up fear and self-hatred had spilled from Olivia, and she dissolved into tears. Alex gathered the crumbling woman into her arms, holding her close and rocking her slowly, whispering soft "I love you"s. Eventually, the brunette's sobs subsided and the two remained in a comfortable embrace. Olivia slid her hands around her wife's waist.

"Alex?" she muttered into her neck.

"Yeah baby?"

"She's staying away from boys. Until she's married."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

That Saturday afternoon, the court was anxiously awaiting the judge's dictate on Peggy Bernardi's charges – her son and Max Matarazzo, Fidelia's boyfriend, having been convicted earlier that morning. Olivia could tell from her position a few rows back that Alex didn't have a good feeling about the outcome; as she had described the night before, without being directly responsible for Fidelia's death, the case was balanced very much on jury opinion. There's little precedent for cases regarding cyber bullying.

Judge Moredock banged his gavel. "Ms. Bernardi, in light of the conviction of Max Matarazzo, this court dismisses all charges against you. You are free to go.

As the gavel banged once more, Peggy Bernardi captured her attorney in a joyful hug, followed by her daughter. While Olivia was happy that Tina would have a parent by her side – however unstable that parent may be – she still was irked by the way in which the legal system failed to obtain justice for the distress Bernardi caused in this case. She could tell Alex was equally miffed, as she gathered her briefcase, and watched carefully as Bernardi turned to the ADA. "I told you I was innocent."

"There's a big difference between charges being dropped and innocent," Alex snipped. "I'm sure your neighbors will explain it to you when you get home."

"Oh they can go to hell. You too."

"Just try to wash the blood off of your hands before you hold Tina's baby for the first time, okay," she sneered, her hormones clearly getting the best of her.

The next few seconds were a blur. Olivia stiffened as she watched Bernardi take a step towards Alex, but before she could react, the woman had grabbed Alex by the neck. "I'll freakin' kill you!" She slammed Alex against the desk. "I'm a good mother," she repeated angrily, shaking the blonde.

Olivia and Elliot jumped into action. Elliot ran over and yanked the woman off of his partner's wife, griping her wrists tightly. "That was a _big_ mistake," he snarled, pressing her against a nearby table and cuffing her. The court room was frenzied, Peggy Bernardi yelling, Tina crying, the judge trying to maintain order. But all Olivia could focus on was Alex, who was still slouched over the desk, holding her head. She rushed through the mob of officers over to the blonde's side.

"Alex! Are you okay?" She grabbed Olivia's outstretched hand, slowly pulling herself up.

"I – I think so." She brought her other hand down from the back of her head, examining the redness on her fingers. "I'm bleeding."

"Let me see," Olivia said nervously, gently turning Alex's head to examine the wound. "It doesn't look too deep. I'm taking you to the hospital just in case though." She reached into her pocket to dial an ambulance.

"Liv, please, I'm fine. Even better when you collar that bitch for assault."

"Elliot's got that all taken care of," Olivia said, glancing over at her partner, who was carrying the flailing women out of the courtroom. "But fine, no ambulance. But I am taking you to see a doctor." Alex groaned, but decided that this too was an argument that she would also lose.

Three hours later, Alex was settled on the couch, feet propped on the pillow and ice pack pressed against the back of her head. "I told you I was fine," Alex frowned, "I didn't even need stiches."

"I just wanted to make sure," Olivia said, taking a seat next to her and pulling her close. "You've got precious cargo in there." Alex couldn't help but smile. Despite her irritated guise, she thought over-protective Olivia was very sweet.

"I love you Olivia."

"I love you too Alex."

A/N: Review for my undying affections :)


	11. Chapter 10: 6 Months

A/N: So in terms of time, it's now the end of the summer, meaning Alex is in her fourth month of pregnancy . The song for this chapter is "6 Months" by Hey Monday.

**Chapter 10: 6 Months**

"Aunt Liv! Aunt Liv!" Within seconds, Olivia was being swarmed by two very energetic ten-year-olds.

"Hey you guys!" she said excitedly, giving Lizzie and Dickie a hug. "Here to pay your dad a visit?"

Lizzie nodded her head vigorously. "Mommy and Eli too! They're talking to daddy outside."

"Well, while we wait for them, I think I have a chocolate bar in my desk with your guys' name on it." Noting the nervous guilt that spread across the twins' faces, she smirked. "Don't worry, it'll be our secret. The Stabler duo smiled widely and scurried over to Olivia's desk. A few seconds later, they were sitting in her desk chair, happily munching on a Hershey bar. The detective placed the file she had been working on down on her desk, perching on its edge. "So you guys, how's it going?"

"Good," they responded in unison, mouths covered in chocolate smears.

Olivia chuckled and handed them both a tissue. "School?" she inquired.

"Boring," Dickie yawned, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, alright, how about baseball then?" At the mere mention of the sport, both of their blue eyes gleamed.

"_Awesome_!" Dickie drawled, "We're undefeated! 5 and 0."

"Nice!" Olivia congratulated, giving them both high fives.

"Aunt Livvie, can you come to our game later? You, Alex, and the baby?" Lizzie asked hopefully, eyes wide.

Olivia smiled, touched by how the Stabler kids were already anticipating her daughter's arrival. "I wouldn't miss it!" Luckily, the 1-6 had a light case load at the moment, so getting out at a reasonable hour was feasible. With a little convincing, she was sure she could convince Alex to pry herself away from work as well. Lizzie grinned widely, flashing a gap-toothed smile.

"Awesome!" Dickie agreed. "It's at seven. Oh, and you guys got to wear orange. That's our color."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"So this is Little League, huh?" Alex asked as she and Olivia walked over to the field.

"Yup," Olivia nodded, holding Alex close. "God, I can't believe this field is still here. Back in high school, I must have come down here everyday in the summer. Just playing softball," she reminisced. Alex snickered. "What?"

"Reenforcing the stereotype?" the blonde teased.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'll have you know, all that work paid off. Many a times was this first baseman invited under the bleachers for some fan appreciation," she smirked back. "I see El and Kathy."

The couple waved, heading over to the bleachers to meet their friends.

"Hey guys!" Kathy greeted, bouncing little Eli on her lap, "Thanks for coming!"

"Not a problem! I've been dying to see Lizzie and Dickie in action," Olivia responded, taking a seat next to Elliot after helping Alex ease herself down on the metal stands. The group enjoyed some chit chat before the umpire bellowed the signature _Play ball!_

Alex leaned over to Olivia. "They all look the same in those uniforms. Where are Dickie and Lizzie?"

Olivia surveyed the field. "Looks like Dickie's playing shortstop and Lizzie's on the mound.

Alex cocked an eyebrow. "You say that like it means something to me."

Olivia chuckled shaking her head. Lizzie's the one pitching this inning. Then Dickie's between second and third base – those white things on the dirt..." She received a glare from Alex.

"Yes Liv, I am familiar with enough with the sport to know what a base is." Olivia threw her hands up innocently. The blonde leaned over and whispered with a mischievous smile, "Metaphorically as well."

"Ms. Cabot, such a dirty outlook you have," Olivia murmured back seductively.

Alex shrugged, adjusting the ball cap on her wife's head. "Maybe later you can show me how you hit a home run..." Olivia inhaled sharply, feeling a dip in her core. Suddenly, these seven innings seemed like an unbearably long time to sit through.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Did you guys see my hit?" Lizzie said excitedly, juice pouch in hand, running towards her family after another victory.

Dickie followed closely in suite. "Mine was better!

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya..."

"Whoa, you guys! Cut it out!" Elliot said sternly.

"Yeah, you knuckleheads," Kathy said, ruffling their hair, "You both did great!"

"Of course we did! We're Stablers," Dickie said with a smirk before running off with his sister to meet some friends, leaving a puff of orange dirt in their wake.

Kathy shook her head. "The ego – that's all from you, El." Elliot rolled his eyes, taking Eli's stroller off of Kathy's hands. Kathy turned to Olivia and Alex. "Can I interest you two in some dinner," she asked.

"Wow, Kath, trying to soften them up," Elliot teased.

Olivia gave him a perplexed look. "Soften us up for what?"

Kathy smiled softly. "Well, we were going to invite you over regardless," she said, glaring at Elliot, "But Elliot is referring to the fact that next Friday is our anniversary."

"That's right!" Olivia said happily, "Congrats you two! What is that, twenty-five years?"

"Yep!" Kathy beamed. "And this one here, being a romantic at heart, wants to take me out on a date," she explained, earning a slight blush from Elliot. "Problem is, Maureen's busy with school and Kathleen has plans with friends that night."

"We were wondering if you guys wanted to babysit. You know, get some practice," he smirked.

Olivia looked at Alex, who nodded. "Um, yeah, we'd love to you guys!"

Kathy gave a sigh of relief and smiled widely. "Ah, really! Thanks you guys," she said, giving both women a hug. "And don't worry, I'll tell the twins to be on their best behavior."

"Oh when aren't they?" Olivia joked, knowing quite well that the answer was fairly often.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"So, his diapers are in here... uh, wipes in the heated canister on the changing table. Ointment as well because he has a bit of a diaper rash." Kathy looked around the room, checking to see if she had missed anything. "I think that's it! Any questions?" she asked. Alex shook her head. With Olivia's attention already occupied by the twins, she was being sure to memorize all of Kathy's instructions. "Alright then! There's some leftover mac n' cheese you can heat up for the twins. Eli gets another bottle before he goes down around eightish. It's a special occasion so Lizzie and Dickie can stay up until nine." She leaned over and gave Alex a peck on the cheek. "Thank you so much again! You guys are going to do great!"

"Kath! You ready to go, babe?" Elliot yelled from downstairs.

"Yep, we're on our way down," she responded, leading Alex out of the nursery. Heading down the stairs, the two were met by Elliot, who had Eli balanced on his hip. "Bye baby boy," Kathy cooed, placing a kiss on his head. Scooping the child out of her husband's arms, she handed the squirming eight month old to the blonde. Alex tried to balance him awkwardly around her bump, which by this point was the size of a soccer ball. "Bye you two," Kathy called over to the twins.

"Bye mom!" they shouted back, not bothering to look up from the Nintendo game they were currently playing with Olivia.

"See you at 12!" Kathy said, slipping her arms into the coat Elliot held out for her before stepping out the door.

"And good luck," Elliot smirked, following his wife outside.

Alex sighed and looked down at Eli. "Here goes nothing, little guy," she breathed. The baby smiled up at her from under his blond curls before contorting his face and grunting, suddenly emitting a foul odor.

"Lovely," Alex muttered, turning to take the baby back upstairs for a changing. "Liv, I'm going to go put a fresh diaper on Eli and then start some dinner."

"Okay!" Olivia called, eyes also glued to the television screen.

Alex shook her head at her wife's immaturity as she reentered the nursery. Gently laying Eli down on the changing table, she was careful to keep a hand on him as she gathered the supplies she needed, having read in one of her pregnancy books that babies easily roll off of surfaces when getting their diapers changed. She unbuttoned Eli's onesie and removed the dirtied diaper, grimacing at the smell. "Okay, Eli, now just stay still," she instructed softly, placing a toy in the child's chubby hands to keep him occupied. Just as she leaned down to grab a wipe, she felt a stream of warm liquid hit the side of her face. She let out a yelp and a few seconds later, Olivia came rushing into the room.

"Everything okay, Alex?"

Horrified, the blonde exclaimed, "He just peed on me!"

Olivia couldn't help but chuckle. "Aw, sweetheart, you've got to cover him up," she explained, placing a wipe over the baby's lower half. "Boys do that when they get cold down there."

Alex huffed, "Thank God we're having a girl then!"

Olivia bit her lip to keep herself from smiling, knowing it would only upset Alex further. "Sweetheart, go on and clean yourself up and start dinner. I'll take care of the wiz kid over here," she said, tickling Eli's tummy. When Alex had left the room, Olivia laughed at the baby. "First you throw up on her, now pee on her. That, my friend, is not a way to win over the ladies."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"That was delicious! Thanks Alex," Lizzie said, scraping the bottom of her bowl clean.

"Not a problem! It was all your mom's doing. I just heated it up," Alex said with a smile.

"Alright guys," Olivia said, "it's seven-thirty now so you've got about an hour before you've got to get ready for bed. What do you want to do?"

"Play checkers! No, cards!"

"Yeah, and do a puzzle too! And color!"

"And watch a movie! And..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Olivia chuckled, "Well, if you want to do that, we better get a move on. How about you two go set up a board game. One of us will be in there in a minute." As per instruction, the twins hurried off to the other room. Olivia smiled and turned back to Alex. "Do you want to go play with them now or put Eli to bed?" she asked.

"I'll take care of Eli," Alex said, smiling at the baby who was now resting peacefully in Olivia's arms, having just finished his bottle.

"Alright," Olivia grinned, sliding the baby into Alex's arms before heading towards the living room to meet Lizzie and Dickie. Before exiting she turned back to Alex, "Hey babe?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you believe that in a few months this will be us?" She paused. "Minus the hyperactive ten-year-olds," she added with a smirk.

Alex laughed. "Yeah, I may need some more time to adjust to that," she said, walking over to Olivia, Eli in tow. "But this," she said, guiding Olivia's hand to her belly and looking at the baby on her hip, "so incredibly happy." Kissing her wife tenderly, Alex headed upstairs and changed Eli into his pajamas. "Alright Eli," she said softly, "time to go to sleep." She lifted the baby into his crib. Just as she was about to turn off the light however, upset cries filled the room. Alex's eyes widened, and she headed back over to the crib, picking Eli up. "What's the matter, huh?" she asked softly. "You just ate and," she leaned her head to sniff his bum, "are all clean." She moved to place the boy back in the crib when he whimpered again. Alex sighed. "You just want to be held, don't you?" she whispered. She carried him over to the nearby rocking chair and began to sway back and forth. Eli was quiet for a moment, but then grimaced. "Shhh," Alex cooed soothingly. As she began to hum, she was surprised when the baby suddenly relaxed in her arms. "Oh, you like that? Okay then." Softly, she began to sing a lullaby that her mother had lulled her to sleep with as a child: _Golden slumbers kiss your eyes, smiles awake when you do rise..._

Having sat the twins down with _Monsters Inc._, Olivia padded up the stairs to check on Alex. It had been almost a half an hour now and she had yet to emerge from the nursery. Olivia wanted to make sure little Eli didn't have any more tricks up his sleeve. When she reached Eli's room, she heard a soft noise – singing? Furrowing her brow, she quietly opened the door a crack. Her wife was rocking Eli slowly as he slept peacefully in her arms, sucking on his tiny thumb. Alex was completely absorbed in the infant, humming a tune as she brushed her fingers through the wisps of his blond hair. Her glasses were perched on the top of her head and she looked tired but perfectly content. Olivia smiled softly to herself, quietly shut the door, and headed back downstairs.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"I cannot believe that it is possible to produce this degree of chaos within a three hour period," Alex sighed, eyes wide as she surveyed the mess that covered the living room. Toys were everywhere – legos and puzzle pieces split on the floor along with several DVDs and video games – as were books and snacks. Olivia nodded her head in agreement.

"You go ahead and lay down, baby. I'll take care of this. You shouldn't be bending over too much."

"I'll take care of the dishes first," Alex said, pecking Olivia on the lips.

Almost an hour later, Alex was lounging on the couch, hands resting on her stomach while she watched the nightly news. Olivia gathered up the last puzzle pieces into their box and let out a sigh of relief. "Done!" she explained, placing the box back on its shelf. Alex scooted over on the couch, allowing the brunette to join her. Laying back against a pile of pillows, she gently pulled Alex between her legs and kissed the crown of her head. "Have fun?" she mumbled against her blond tresses, breathing in the soft scent of her lavender shampoo.

Alex nodded tiredly. "Absolutely. I'm exhausted though."

"Yeah, me too." The couple continued to lazily watch the program, Olivia rubbing her hands over Alex's belly in slow rhythmic motions. Just as Alex was about to doze off, she heard a muffled cry over the baby monitor.

Olivia sighed. "I've got him," she said, carefully slipping out from behind Alex. A few moments later, she returned with the baby. "He's not letting me put him down, so I figured I'd let him join us." Alex smiled sweetly at Eli, who yawned tiredly, wet tears beginning to dry off of his cheeks. "You want to hold him? You seem to comfort him." Alex nodded and sat up, taking the baby into her arms. Olivia sat back down behind her, allowing the blonde to rest her body against hers. Alex felt Eli nuzzle into her chest and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Within minutes, all three of them were asleep.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Olivia woke up to a strong hand shaking her shoulder. Blinking her eyes tiredly, she found her partner leaning over her. "Hey Liv, they tire you guys out," he whispered.

Olivia nodded with a yawn. "Thanks so much again, Olivia," Kathy said softly, returning from the twins' rooms. Those two are dead asleep. You must have really tuckered them out."

"I do believe we played ten games of checkers, colored an entire book, played video games, did a puzzle, built Legos, watched a movie, _and_ read some books. I don't know how you two do it," she said with a chuckle.

"Years of practice," Elliot smirked. "You'll find out soon enough. Now, I'd love to let you two stay, but our date night's not over yet," he said suggestively, earning a pop in the shoulder from Kathy.

"Not with that attitude Stabler."

Olivia laughed softly. "Not a problem. Let me just get this one up. Clearly it's past her bedtime. Hey Alex," she whispered into the blonde's ear, "Time to get up sweetheart." Alex mumbled something incoherent. "Hey El, can you grab Eli?" Her partner obliged and gently scooped his sleeping son up, rocking him gently. Olivia slowly stood up, carefully avoiding awakening Alex. She then leaned down and picked up her wife, struggling slightly with her added weight. Alex muttered something again, burying her head into Olivia's shoulder. "Night guys," Olivia said with a smile, carrying her babies out to the car.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

_2 Months Later (Alex is 6 months along)_

Olivia fell back against the crisp, white sheets, letting out an amative moan as she climaxed. A few moments later, Alex collapsed on top of her panting heavily, her body curling into her partner's, pressing languid, succulent kisses across her collar bone. Olivia breathed deeply, tangling her fingers through Alex's sweat-matted hair as she recovered from her orgasm. With her hormones bouncing off the walls, the young attorney had been insatiable lately – Olivia felt as though she hardly left the bedroom when the two were alone together. Well, at least only to do bedroom activities elsewhere in the apartment – the shower, the couch, the kitchen counter... Not that she minded; this was certainly an enjoyable part of the pregnancy.

She pressed her lips against Alex's brow, breathing in the soft scent of perfume, before turning her lips into a content smile. She traced her fingers from Alex's shoulders down to her lower back, which she massaged lightly. "You are so beautiful," she murmured, cupping Alex's buttock. "Let's never leave this bed."

Alex smirked, "Detective, I've been intending on doing just that." She carefully rolled off of Olivia, flipping onto her side and nesting her expanding belly into the curve of the brunette's body. The grooves of their body matched perfectly.

Olivia gently sucked on Alex's shoulder, watching as the alabaster skin turned slightly pink, wrapping her arms around the attorney to pull her body closer to her own frame. She moved her legs, intertwining them with Alex's, who she heard moan slightly, melting into her touch. "Round two?" Alex requested with a smile. After all, she was off today. Just as the detective moved to straddle her wife, her cell phone vibrated against the bedside table. Olivia sighed heavily, leaning over to pick up the intruding object.

"Benson." Alex watched as the brunette listened to the caller, nodding along with the message. "Yeah, yes, I'll be there in ten Cap." Hanging up the phone, she gave Alex an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Alex. That was Cragen. There's a lead on the Mangold case." Alex shuddered slightly. This was the 1-6's latest case. A week ago, Victoria Mangold, a housewife on the upper East Side had been abducted as she walked to pick up her son from school. Her body was found two days later. It was one of the few times she had actually been sick from simply reading the ME's report. Up to this point, the perp had been in the wind.

Alex nodded and watched as Olivia changed into her work clothes. As she headed off to the bathroom to wash up, Alex went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. When Olivia entered the kitchen – jacket on, gun strapped against her waist, badge in hand – she poured the brown liquid into a to-go mug and handed it to the detective. "Be careful," she said, kissing Olivia tenderly.

Olivia smiled, brushing her blond hair off on her forehead and sealing it with a kiss. "Always."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Alex shuffled through the fridge, looking for something to have for dinner. "Hmm, what do _you_ want," she asked the baby, rubbing her bump. "Okay, peanut butter and olives it is," she chuckled, astounded by the odd cravings she had been having of late. Grabbing her spoils, she took a seat on the coach and grabbed a book, trying to distract herself as she impatiently waited for Olivia to return home. Knowing it would be a while, soon enough, she had dozed off; the pregnancy had been taking a toll on her energy levels of late.

She was awoken abruptly by a knock on the door. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she grabbed her glasses and padded across the apartment. After checking the peephole, she unlatched and opened the door. "Fin, Cragen," she greeted, using her fingers to fix her hair, "Updates on the case? You could have just called and I would have come down..." The two men were silent. Fin looked down at the floor.

"What's going on guys?"


	12. Chapter 11: Just a Dream

A/N: The song for this chapter is "Just a Dream" by Carrie Underwood

**Chapter 11: Bullets**

"What's going on you guys?" Alex asked, confused by the Cragen and Fin's behavior.

Cragen hesitated. "Alex, we..." That was all it took. The tone in his voice. The sadness and fear in his eyes.

"No," Alex said, "No no no no no!" she repeated, clumsily stepping backwards into the apartment. It wasn't real. If she went back and laid down, it wasn't real, and in a couple of hours Olivia would wake her up with a kiss and carry her back to bed.

Cragen grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Alex, we have to get to the hospital now."

Now there were tears, pouring from her eyes. Her body trembling in the captain's strong grasp. She couldn't breath. She couldn't move.

"Wha – what – what ha – " she attempted to choke out.

"There was a chase," Cragen said as calmly as possible, "Olivia was, she was shot Alex."

Alex's world froze on that one word: shot. She felt herself collapsing, convulsing in heavy sobs. Cragen pulled her up into his arms. "Fin, go to the bedroom and grab her some shoes and a jacket. Alex, where are your keys?" He was met with silence, the blonde's face pale and unmoving. "Alex?" he said more sharply, attempting to break her out of her trance.

"Purse," Alex muttered quietly, still lost in her thoughts, unconscious tears streaming down her cheeks. Cragen surveyed the room before locating Alex's black pocketbook. Fin returned to the living room . Alex was still as limp as a doll so he helped her into her shoes and coat. They moved quickly out of the apartment complex and into a waiting squad vehicle. Fin joined Alex in the back seat. The piercing glare of sirens shattered the blanket of silence and startled Alex into a fresh batch of sobs, murmuring Olivia's name. Fin wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I've got you, Alex. You've got to hang in there baby girl."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Elliot rammed his fists into the white cinder block wall in the waiting room. Two seconds faster. Two seconds.

If he had pulled the trigger first, none of this would be happening.

The memories returned in broken flashbacks, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. They had told Arthur to freeze, he was surrounded. Didn't see the faulty wall. Didn't see it. Ducking under fallen beams, running as fast as possible. Lost track of Liv – must have been behind him. Light pierced the fading darkness. Outside now. Arthur turning a corner. He didn't see what happened. When he turned around the bend, Liv was there, hands up backed against a brick wall. Arthur had a gun. Bang, bang! It wasn't his weapon. Another bang. That was. Arthur was flat on the ground but he didn't see him then, just assumed that's where the scumbag ended up. His eyes were on Liv. Liv slumped over against the wall. Liv not moving. Liv, blood everywhere.

Elliot's eyes were glassy, his head throbbing. He wouldn't let the doctor's look at him. He was fine.

The waiting room door burst open and Cragen, Fin, and Alex rushed into the room. Alex. When she saw Elliot, she burst out in a scream.

It was then Elliot realized his shirt was stained in crimson – his partner's blood. Alex's wife's blood. Without a word, he storming into the men's room, leaned over the toilet, and proceeded to vomit.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"May I help you," the receptionist had asked.

"Family of Olivia Benson," Alex had managed to say. Her words felt both empty and weighted.

"Relation."

"I'm her wife," Alex whimpered, holding her left hand up as though for proof.

The receptionist nodded solemnly. "Ms. Benson is in surgery right now, ma'am. We will notify you as soon as anything changes."

"I ne-need to see her!"

"I''m sorry, dear. There's nothing we can do right now," the woman responded sympathetically. "It would help if you filled out these forms in the meanwhile," she added, handing the blonde a clipboard. Cragen guided Alex to a nearby seat, never letting his arm leave her. Alex picked up a pen to begin to fill out the paperwork in front of her, but before she could even finish writing Olivia's name, her hand began shaking violently.

"Hey, hey," Cragen said comfortingly, guiding her hand back onto her lap, "You don't have to do that now. Just rest now Alex. You've got to try to stay calm for the baby." Alex relinquished the pen, but her body and mind did anything but relax.

An hour later, the waiting room was full with the family of Olivia Benson. Cragen remained by Alex's side, holding her close. He had been joined by Kathy, who was stroking the younger blonde's hand. Elliot was seated next to his wife, his head in his hands – emotionless, broken. Munch and Fin sat at the opposite side of the room, the former staring blankly at the wall, the latter's hands curled into nervous fists. Even Liz Donnelly was there, currently trying to use any connection possible to get update's on Olivia's condition. It was to no avail, and with a frustrated sigh, she sat down next to the captain.

One and a half hours.

Two.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

There was one clear moment when Alexandra Cabot first realized she was in love with Olivia Benson.

It was one of her earlier cases working with SVU, a he-said-she-said rape case that lacked all the necessary evidence. And Olivia wanted a search warrant.

"Alex, there's got to be a way you can get us into that house," Olivia stated frustratedly.

"I'm sorry detective, but without grounds no judge will issue me that warrant."

"We have grounds!" Olivia yelled, "I know this is the guy!"

"A feeling is not concrete evidence and you know it," Alex had stated staunchly, folding her arms across her chest.

Olivia looked her fiercely in the eye, brown clashing with blue. "You need to find a way to get that warrant," she gritted before turning back to talk to the victim. Alex watched her quietly through the double-sided glass. Olivia had an arm wrapped around the crying college co-ed with a tenderness unseen in their earlier confrontation. In that moment she realized Olivia was different from any other detective. She had a clear determination to achieve justice for no other reason than it was right, and more poignantly was willing to sacrifice anything in order to do so. She connected with the victims in an uncanny way, something Alex would only come to understand years later. But at present, Alexandra Cabot was sure of one thing – Detective Benson's passion had ignited something strong and unique in her own heart.

Later that night she had called a favor in from her uncle. Needless to say, that warrant was on Olivia's desk the next morning.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Family of Olivia Benson," a middle aged man dressed in scrubs called.

"Right here," Cragen responded, lifting Alex to her feet and guiding her over to the man. "Elliot," he called, looking firmly at his detective, "You too."

"Cap-" Elliot started to argue.

"Elliot, now!" Cragen ordered. When the detective reached his side, Cragen muttered sternly, "You listen to me Elliot. This was not your fault." Receiving a less than convincing nod in return, he faced the doctor once more.

"Ms. Benson is out of surgery and on her way to recovery right now. There were two wounds. One entered her thoracic cavity and was imbedded in some tissue. Collapsed her left lung, which we were able to re-inflate. The other was a clean entrance and exit through her abdomen. Missed major organs – she was lucky with that – but shredded a great deal of tissue and torn open an artery." Alex felt as though she was going to be sick, but didn't have the energy.

"Is she – will she be alright?" Elliot asked nervously, looking at the floor.

The doctor sighed heavily. "It's touch and go at the moment. She's lost a lot of blood. Crashed once on the table and we had to resuscitate. We'll have a better idea of the prognosis if she makes it though the night." _If_. Alex felt her knees weaken and had to be held up by Cragen once more.

"Let me get you a wheel chair, Miss Cabot," the doctor said.

"I'm fine!" Alex spat. "Olivia's the one whose injured. And it's Benson." The doctor gave her a confused look. "My name is _Mrs._ Cabot-Benson!"

The doctor nodded apologetically. "Of course."

"Can we see her now?" Cragen asked. The doctor looked at the full waiting room of anticipant eyes.

"It's against protocol for those outside of family but I'll make an exception this time." He lead the group down the hallway of intensive care.

Olivia looked so small on the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed. Weak. She had wires and tubes attached to every surface of her body. A larger tube was stuck down her throat, breathing for her.

Everyone stood outside giving Alex a moment alone with her wife. Alex broke out of Cragen's embrace and rushed to Olivia's side. "Olivia, sweetheart," she whispered, gently squeezing the detective's frail hand, "You need to wake up sweetheart. I can't – we can't do this without you. I – I lo – love you – ssso much" Cragen moved to place a chair behind the weeping blonde, guiding her to sit. Alex obliged, her hand never leaving Olivia's. She combed the brunette's hair to the side and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

Cragen payed his silent respects to his detective, a single tear managing to escape from one of his eyes. Munch and Fin followed. Munch gently squeezed the detective's blanket-covered knee and leaned over to whisper something softly into her ear. Fin gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Stay strong baby girl," he told the sleeping form before following his partner out. Donnelly came in afterwards, giving Alex a strong hug and leaving without a word.

Kathy and Elliot were last. Kathy sniffled, holding Olivia's other hand for a moment before moving to give Alex a hug and kiss. She then left the room to give her husband a moment alone with his partner. Elliot knelt down at Olivia's bedside. "God, I'm so sorry, Liv. So sorry..." his words dissolved into broken whispers, but Alex was able to make out his saying "I should have been there." Elliot crossed himself before standing up. He looked at Alex in acknowledgment, but then moved to leave, unable to face his partner's wife after all he had failed to do.

"Elliot." He turned back to see the blonde staring at him, tears marring her blue eyes. He rushed to her side and enveloped her in a hug. Holding Alex closely in his strong arms, he finally let himself cry. "I'm so sorry Alex," he sobbed, "I should have protected her." Alex let her own tears fall as she wrapped her arms tighter around him, a silent way of telling him it wasn't his fault.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

It was dark and gray. The cold wind whipped through Alex's hard as she stood there, solemn, still, empty. Her black dress whirled around her thin frame, billowing in the breeze. She wrapped her arms across her chest but didn't feel warm again.

At her foot was the cold, gray stone. She couldn't bear to look at it, yet wouldn't tear her eyes away. Engraved in the marble:

_Olivia Louise Benson_

_Beloved wife, mother, and partner_

_1967-2008_

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Alex screamed. "Ms. Cabot-Benson, Ms. Cabot-Benson," a nurse said, running over to her side, "Are you alright dear?" Alex's eyes shot open wide. She was panting wildly, a cool sweat dripping down her brow. With the nurse rubbing her back smoothly, she finally calmed down enough to look around the room. She broke down into grateful tears when she saw Olivia lying in front of her. She leaned over and kissed her forehead, murmuring "just a dream, just a dream." A few moments later, the nurse spoke once more, "The doctor has good news, dear. I'll go get him for you." Her words hardly registered with Alex, however, her eyes never leaving Olivia.

"Ms. Cabot-Benson," Dr. Timothy greeted a couple of minutes later. Alex looked up at him expectantly, gripping Olivia's hand. "Your wife is going to be fine. Her vitals have been improving steadily. We turned off several of the machines earlier this morning. We'll remove the tube in her mouth as soon as she wakes up."

Alex let a few more tears glisten down her cheek. "When will that be?"

"Only time will tell unfortunately," he responded, "Your wife is a very lucky woman."

Alex nodded, "Thank you doctor... for everything."

Dr. Timothy smiled softly. "Just doing my job."

Alex didn't leave Olivia's bedside from the next two day, despite the prodding of hospital staff and Cragen alike. She would be there for her, always. Worrying about their patient's pregnant wife, the nursing staff had another cot rolled into Olivia's room, which after much encouragement, Alex acquiesced to using. She was laying in that cot one day, stroking Olivia's arm when she saw the most beautiful sight she had ever witnessed.

Olivia's deep brown eyes fluttered opened slowly.

A/N: So sorry for scaring you guys! Please forgive me; Liv's fine!


	13. Chapter 12: Without You

A/N: I owe you all some fluff... The song for this chapter is "Without You" by David Guetta and Usher

**Chapter 12: **

Olivia's entire body felt numb and heavy; she was only vaguely aware of a sharp pain in her side as she slowly regained consciousness. She blinked several times, but everything seemed blurry – confusing. She went to call out – to ask where she was, what was going on – but something in her mouth stopped her. Before she could pull the invading object out, she felt a gentle hand caressing her face.

"Olivia, Liv, sweetheart, stay calm honey. Don't try to speak."

She knew that voice anywhere. Again, she tried to talk. _Alex_. The word was clear in her mind but she was still unable to voice it.

"Baby, you have a tube in your throat. The doctor's have to take that out first before you can talk. Just hang on a minute." She felt Alex stroke her thumb along her cheek. Turning to her head slightly to face the blonde, she was immediately upset by her bedraggled appearance. Whereas Alex was always maintained her poise and appeared put together regardless of the stress she may be under, at the current moment she was a mess. Her blond hair was tangled and clearly unwashed. She wasn't wearing any make up whatsoever – normally a cardinal sin. Worse yet, her eyes were puffy and red – clearly she had been crying. The NYPD tee shirt she was wearing – which never left the house on her person – was wrinkled over a pair of gray yoga pants. Even her glasses were skewed on her head. Olivia moved to straighten them, but winced when a striking pain shot through her body.

"Shh," Alex mumbled, placing a soft kiss on the brunette's forehead and letting her lips mingled, "You're okay. Thank God you're okay..."

A tall middle aged man with reddish blond hair and a receding hairline entered the room – which by this point Olivia had established was a part of a hospital ward. Mercy by the looks of it. "Olivia," the man greeted with a warm smile, "I'm Dr. Allen Timothy. It's good to see you awake." Now consciously aware of the tube in her mouth, she managed a weak nod. "Here, let me take care of that tube for you." He walked over to her bedside. "Okay, on the count of three, I want you to cough," he said, positioning his gloved hands on the apparatus, "one – two – three -" Olivia obliged and managed a feeble cough. She felt Alex squeeze her hands. "There, much better."

A nurse who had been standing nearby handed her a glass of water. "Here hon, try to take a few sips of this. The sensation of the cool liquid sliding against the rough dryness of her throat was magical, but she must have swallowed a bit too much too fast and entered a coughing fit. It was horribly painful and resulted in Olivia hunching over, gasping for breath.

Alex leaned over nervously, rubbing her wife's back in smooth, comforting circles. "Is she alright? Could she pull any of her stitches?"

A few moments later, the coughing subsided. The nursed eased her back onto the bed slowly and pulled her hospital gown slightly askew. Slapping on a new set of latex gloves, the doctor gently palpatated two locations on Olivia's side. She grimaced. "Sorry Ms. Benson," he responded apologetically, lifting his gaze, "everything looks and feels alright."

"Wh – what happened," Olivia asked, her voice raspy.

"Do you remember going to work on Monday?" the doctor asked.

Olivia nodded and tried to clear her throat. "Yeah, the Mangold chase. We found Arthur."

The doctor nodded solemnly. "Do you remember what happened?"

Olivia struggled to think. Everything was a bit cloudy. "There was – a chase. We had his corner but – but he got out of this false wall. El, El he followed him so I ran around the other way. Try to trap him again. I was about to head into the alley. Arthur... he was – behind the dumpster. Tripped me. My gun... it fell..." She looked up at the doctor puzzled. "I can't..."

Dr. Timothy nodded. "That's alright. Some confusion is to be expected. I'm sorry but you were shot Ms. Benson. Twice. You immediately loss consciousness. Your partner stopped enough of your bleeding to stabilize you enough to get to the hospital One of the bullets entered your chest and collapsed your left lung. We were able to remove it. The other went clean through you abdomen. It opened an artery which we were able to suture and damaged some tissue. You were in surgery for 5 hours but will make a full recovery in time. You were very lucky."

"How long have I been out?"

"Three days. And your wife here hasn't left your side for one of them," he responded, giving Alex a soft smile. Olivia turned back to Alex only to see tears glimmering in her eyes. Hearing about Olivia's injuries again, remembering the past few days, was too much for her to handle.

"Baby..." Olivia said softly, rubbing her thumb over Alex's hand.

"We'll give you two some time alone. If you need anything, just hit the red button on this remote and a nurse will be right in."

When the doctor and nurse left, Olivia continued to comfort Alex. "Alex, sweetheart, it's okay. Don't cry. I'm alright."

Alex shook her head, her body beginning to tremble. "I almost lost you Olivia! I couldn't – I wouldn't be able to go on without you."

Olivia smiled softly. "But you didn't. And you won't. I'm right here, Alex. Right here," she said, gently tugging Alex down towards her. She brushed her lips against her wife's cheeks, kissing the tears away.

If anything though, this tender action did nothing more than intensify Alex's crying. "All I kept think – thinking was, you and me, and, the baby," she hiccuped, "and how I don't know what I would do if I had to – to raise her," she shuddered, "alone."

"Hey, hey," Olivia soothed, combing her fingers through Alex's silky hair, her own eyes becoming glassy, "I'm not leaving you, Alex. But if it had come down to it, you would have raised our baby and loved her more than anything. And she would have grown up to be smart and compassionate and loving and [she added with a twinkle in her eye] stubborn just like her beautiful mother."

Alex stifled another sob. "I love you so much," she whimpered, resting her forehead against Olivia's – their tears – their pain, their fears, their hope – melding together.

Olivia captured Alex in a passionate kiss, moving her hands to envelope Alex's stomach. "You have no idea," she murmured against her lips.

The two remained in a comfortable silence, overwhelmed by the sensation of being physically connected to one another once more, releasing sighs of relief and filling these gaps with each other's breathes.

"Alex?" Olivia whispered against the paleness of her neck, her chapped lips scratching the skin slightly.

"Yes Liv? Is everything okay, Sweetheart?" she responded, reluctantly pulling herself out of Olivia's embrace to look at her.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Can I just hold you for a while?" she asked yearningly.

"Of course," Alex whispered, trying to keep her voice from breaking. She climbed into bed, careful not to jostle it. More astutely, she laid down at Olivia's side, slowly leaning closer to her. "Is this hurting you?" she asked nervously.

"No," Olivia said adamantly, wrapping her arms around Alex's waist and pulling her even closer. In the shelter of her wife's arms, Alex felt herself relax for the first time since Cragen and Fin had showed up at their door. She smiled as Olivia's hand found its way under her shirt to rest just below her naval at the curvature of her bump. Alex gasped – shocked by a sudden sensation. She felt Olivia stiffen against her as well in astonishment.

"Was that – "

Alex nodded, happy tears now filling the oceans of her eyes. "She's happy her mama's okay," she said with a beaming smile, snuggling closer to Olivia.

Unable to lean over, Olivia lifted her hand momentarily, kissed her fingertips, and returned them to the baby. "I love you, Peanut," she whispered joyfully.

"We love you too," Alex said, flipping over to face Olivia and placing her hands on top of the brunette's. The couple lay intertwined with one another, mutually captivated by the fluttering of their daughter's feet.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Olivia bit her lip to stifle the pain. "Sorry partner, almost there," Elliot said, carrying her through the apartment door frame.

"You should have taken the wheelchair the doctors offered," Alex chastised.

"_You_ should have let me walk," the detective groaned.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Oh, that would have gone over _so_ well," she responded sarcastically, following the two into the bedroom.

"Okay Liv, I'm going to lower you down on three. One – "

"Three" Olivia grumbled, "Come on, El. Just put me down. I'll be fine."

Elliot complied, cautiously placing Olivia down on the mattress. "Alright, you two need anything else? Food or anything?

"I think the entire NYPD has dropped off a casserole or meat loaf by this point," Alex chuckled. "Thank you so much, El. We've got it from here."

"Okay, well, if you need anything at all, give me a call. Kathy too," he offered, heading out of the room. "And Liv, don't be stupid."

Olivia shot him the middle finger. "I'm fine."

Elliot chuckled at his partner's grumpiness, shaking his head. "Have fun," he said, giving Alex a hug. "Let me know if you need her handcuffed.

Once Elliot was gone, Alex walked over to the bed and stroked Olivia's hair. "So tough guy, how are you actually feeling?"

"Sore, but I'm fine. Just glad to be home finally," she sighed, relaxing into the mound of pillows Alex had laid out for her. For the past two days, Olivia had done nothing but complain about how she was fine to go home. Finally, the doctors had agreed, with the detective's promise that she was on complete bed rest for the next week. "Ugh, I'm so bored," the brunette complained.

Alex grinned widely. "I think I can remedy that!" she said excitedly, grabbing her purse off of the end table. She handed Olivia a book. "While you were taking that nap earlier, I went to the hospital gift shop and grabbed this. Guess it's for last minute parents just as they head into the maternity ward," she quipped.

"Yes!" Olivia said, perking up immediately. She patted Alex's side of the bed, beckoning her to join. "Come on babe."

Alex slipped onto the bed and nestled into the crook of Olivia's shoulder, gazing over her at the baby name's book.

"Ava's very pretty," Olivia said, pointing to a selection a few pages in.

Alex nodded happily. "Absolutely!" Grabbing a pen and some post-its from a nearby drawer, she circled the name and flagged the page.

"So organized," Olivia teased, pecking Alex on the lips. "What about Belle?"

Alex grimaced and shook her head. "Ugh, same name as a horrible woman I interned with," she said, sticking out her tongue. Olivia laughed, turning the page.

A half hour later, they were still looking through the book, having taken some time to laugh at a few of the more eccentric offers. Slowly but surely, they narrowed down their list.

"Sadie?"

"Aww, Alex, that's really cute. What about Amelia – Mia for short."

"That's pretty, babe. And Harper?"

"_To Kill a Mockingbird_?" Olivia said with a smile.

Alex blushed slightly. "It's my favorite book."

"Well I love the name too. Add it to the list."

"Okay," Alex recapitulated, "Looks like we're down to Ava, Abigail, Sadie, Mia, and Harper. Which is it going to be?"

Olivia sighed dramatically. "This is too difficult! Can't we just give her a really long name?" Alex gave her a confused look. "You know, like Ava Sadie Mia Abigail Harper Cabot-Benson."

Alex smirked. "Oh yeah, that'll go over real well on the playground."

Olivia rubbed Alex's bump. "I think we should wait. You know, see which name suites her most once we see her."

Alex smiled. "I like that idea a lot," she said, leaning closer to Olivia. "A surprise."

"Yep, right now she's staying my little Peanut."

A/N: Check out the **poll** on my profile and vote for your favorite name!


	14. Chapter 13: Wonderland

A/N: The song for this chapter is "Your Body is a Wonderland" by John Mayer.

**Chapter 13: Wonderland**

Although Olivia had been raring to go two weeks after she woke up, it wasn't until a month later that Cragen – and Alex for that matter – finally relinquished. Much to the detective's dismay, however, she was still limited to desk duty and occasional interviews with victims. Needless to say, Olivia was getting restless. Alex, on the other hand, was in the process of getting her office in order. A mere week away from the eight month mark, she was left with the difficult task of organizing and preparing her temporary replacement – a young attorney from Brooklyn homicide – to cover her cases while she was on maternity leave. Whereas the last month before birth was supposed to be relaxing and full of relief from the stress's of one's job, Alex couldn't help but be anxious. Not everyone could handle SVU cases and she feared that her absence would affect the level of justice achieved as well as adherence to the code of legal ethics she proudly represented. While Olivia tried to reassure her that everything would be dealt with properly, the detective knew Alex's fears were not baseless; her wife was a unique talent in a profession filled with many less-than-impressive individuals.

At present moment, however, both women were lounging in the recently renovated nursery – formerly the guest bedroom. Well, more accurately, Alex was lounging while Olivia was struggling to put together a crib. The room was coming out beautifully. The couple had chosen a characteristically feminine soft pink paint for the walls, which they accented with some pale green colored molding. Olivia had spent a week making sure every last wall was impeccably done and had even recruited Elliot to ensure perfection as Alex was unable to be near the paint fumes. She had continued her handiwork by installing a couple of shelves and picture frames containing custom pastel abstract paintings that women had seen at a local flea market. A simple cream dresser – which Olivia had taken time to stencil wispy designs onto – sat beneath the window, which was blanketed in a simple cream tulle wrapped with pink ribbon. Within the drawers were the beginnings of a very stylish wardrobe thanks to Alex.

The room was fit for a princess.

Despite her successes with the rest of the nursery, however, Olivia was now struggling with with the crib and changing table set that the couple had recently purchased from Ikea. The supposedly simply furniture was giving her a run for her money as she sat on the floor, scowling at its instructions.

"I swear they're all in Swedish!" the brunette exclaimed, slapping the paper down in a huff.

"Baby, you're a detective. You're good at solving things... figure it out."

"Detective, not carpenter," Olivia grumbled.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Fine, let me see the instructions."

"No, no, I've got this," she said determinedly, grabbing the paper and furrowing her brow. Alex smirked – _Olivia and her pride_.

While the brunette continued to struggle with the task at hand, fiddling with a few wooden beams and a screwdriver, Alex turned back to her book, _What to Expect When You're Expecting_. With the clock ticking, Alex had finally decided to tackle of the the chapters she most feared: labour. She shook her head and chuckled lightly when she realized that Olivia had already read and hyper-analyzed the section as well. She held up the book to reveal a very highlighted page. "Baby, you do realize I'm the one giving birth?" she giggled.

Olivia looked up and blushed slightly. "I just want to be prepared. You know, to help you through it." she said with a shrug.

Alex smiled softly, eyes glistening slightly from her wife's sentiments. "You're sweet," she whispered tenderly. "And I would get up and kiss you, but currently I can't even see my swollen ankles," she added, gesturing to the way in which her stomach stood out prominently in her current reclining position. Olivia smirked and pulled herself to her feet, moving over to where Alex was seated in a rocking chair. She leaned over and placed a sweet kiss on the blonde's lips. Giving her stomach a quick peck and a promise (_This crib will be ready in time for your arrival, Peanut_), she returned to the floor and her puzzle, leaving Alex to delve into the frightening world of labour and birth. While she knew some people called it beautiful, a stunning transition into parenthood, to Alex it meant pushing a watermelon-sized object out of her vagina – and the pain so clearly associated with that. While the doctor swore that everything down there would go completely back to normal – that the _female reproductive system was an incredible thing_ – Alex had yet to be convinced. She loved her daughter with all her heart but in many ways was dreading the events leading up to her arrival. Shuddering at the very detailed diagrams and all too descriptive words like "tearing" and "stabbing," Alex carefully read the chapter, rubbing small circles against her bump, giggling as Olivia occasionally swore at the piece of furniture she was working on. The processes was seeming to be painful but manageable until she reached one line...

The blonde's gasp drew Olivia's attention to the horrified look on her face. She held up the book once more and asked accusingly, "Why didn't you tell me about this?" Olivia squinted to read the sentence Alex was referring to. Looking back up from the book, she couldn't help but laugh at Alex's reaction to the content – her blue eye's wide, mouth slightly gaping. "This is not funny!" She tore the book out of the brunette's grasp and read the line in question aloud: "Due to the tremendous pressure caused by pushing, it is common for some women, _especially_ first-time mothers, to _defecate_ in the delivery room. Defecate!"

Olivia stifled another laugh, knowing that her amusement would not bode well with Alex. "Aww, babe, it's just natural..."

"Natural! Liv, I do not want to shit myself in from of a group of people! I don't want to do that in front of you..." she whimpered.

Olivia scooched across the floor to Alex's side and caressed the sides of her face tenderly. "Alex, they're certainly all seen it before and I won't care. All that will matter is the fact that you're finally giving birth to our baby. Don't worry." Alex groaned and Olivia placed a comforting kiss on her forehead. The blonde sighed, resting in her wife's arms, tugging her into a warm embrace.

"I'm taking a break from this for now," she mumbled into Olivia's shoulder. "I'll start some dinner. Olivia rubbed her arms gently down the fairness of Alex's arms before helping her too her feet. As she settled back down to the crib, she couldn't help but smile to herself as Alex grumbled on her way out the door about how neither the doctor not their prenatal yoga instructor had mentioned anything.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Did they mention anything at all," Alex asked, furrowing her brow as Olivia helped her into the car.

Olivia shook her head. "Cragen just said there was a case and for the both of us to get down there as soon as possible."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Well, this can't be good." Olivia nodded in agreement, starting the engine.

Fifteen minutes later, the couple arrived at the New York City Police Department and headed up to the third floor. As they walked to the door of the 1-6, they couldn't help but notice how uncharacteristically quiet it was. Although it was a Sunday monday, New York's finest were never at rest and the silence was quite unnerving. As Olivia went to hold the door open for Alex, a sudden shout made her jump to attention.

"Surprise!"

Scattered throughout the precinct was a group of Alex and Olivia's closest friends and family: Cragen, Fin, Munch, and Elliot of course, as well as Liz Donnelly. Kathy and the kids. Melinda and Huang. A few of Alex's colleagues as well as her aunt, uncle, and cousin. Even Simon. The normally cut-and-dry, masculine office was instead decorated in assortments of pink, green, and other "girly" hues. Elliot and Olivia's desk was covered in a bagel brunch while a stack of presents were piled on Munch and Fin's.

Olivia grinned widely, grabbing Alex's hand. She was speechless – and surprised by how completely thrown off she had been by the whole "case" guise.

"Welcome to your baby shower," Kathy said with a smile, giving both women a tight hug, "Courtesy of the NYPD and friends." After a round of thank yous and several tummy rubs for Alex, the group settled down for briefly to eat, enjoying each other's company. While Alex spoke with her family, Olivia settled down next to Simon, who was sitting on the outskirts of the gathering, smearing some butter on his bagel.

"Thanks for coming," Olivia said softly, "It means a lot, Simon."

He returned a small smile and shrugged. "Well, it is my niece, right?" Olivia chuckled slightly to release some of her nerves. "Hey, Olivia, I know I wasn't the most supportive with you know, yours and Alex's relationship and all, but I promise you I've gotten over all of my issues. I was stupid. And I kick myself for missing your wedding..."

Olivia nodded solemnly. She and Simon had been managing to develop their relationship, getting to know one another with coffee and lunch trips once or twice a month, the occasional telephone call. Everything had been going well for once – until Olivia told him about Alex. Apparently her half-brother was extremely homophobic and had almost instantaneously cut her off, disappearing completely. Olivia had been devastated to have lost her only blood relative – though she tried to hide her depression. Many had seen through her guise, however, and Simon quickly became public enemy number one to several of her friends – Alex and Elliot namely.

"Well, you're here now," she said, forcing her lips to upturn slightly. "Speaking of which, how did you know..."

Simon sighed heavily. "Last month, I tried to find you to talk. I had joined this parents and friends of – gays and lesbians... thing back in June and I wanted to, you know, apologize for all that shitty stuff I said." He cleared his throat. "I guess you moved which makes sense... so I waited outside the precinct hoping I could catch you alone but um, you were with your... wife so I left. But I saw she was pregnant and, I don't know it was probably stupid."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Simon, what did you do?"

"I called your partner... Elliot. He almost hung up right away but I convinced him it was important... we met for lunch last week. He told me you and Alex were happy and he was damned if he would let me screw that up. Actually, I'm here only with several threats should I 'change my mind and decide to be a bastard again,'" he said, smirking slightly.

Olivia looked across the room to Elliot, who shot her a small smile and wink. She turned back to Simon. "So, the PFLAG thing helped you?" she asked hesitantly.

Simon nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I go once a month to meetings. Some of the stories, I don't know, really opened my eyes. I mean, man and woman, woman and woman, it's the same love, right? I'm working on it." Olivia stared into his eyes for a moment – those deep brown orbs that matched her own – and saw the effort, the truth, in the statement.

"Simon, I believe you and I'm really glad that you're doing this. Believe me. I just don't... I'm not ready to have you back in my life full force again. There was too much... and I don't want to subject Alex to that, or our daughter..."

Simon gave a small nod, looking at the ground. "But it's something we can work on?"

"Absolutely. I'd really like that." Olivia felt a thin arm snake around her waist.

"Hey baby, you alright over here," Alex asked, her voice laced with subtle concern, as she pressed a kiss to the top of the brunette's head.

Olivia smiled and nodded, holding Alex close to her. "Yeah, everything's fine."

Simon nodded as well. "I think I'm going to get out of here. I um got you this though," he said, grabbing a small pink bag from the seat next to him and handing it to Olivia. "Thanks for talking, Liv. And congratulations. You too Alex." With a small smile, he bid his parting and headed out of the precinct.

Olivia stared at the bag in her hands, clearly lost in thought. Alex kissed her temple tenderly. "Liv, you sure you okay?"

Olivia turned and smiled, placing a loving kiss on the swells of Alex's lips. "Yeah, he's trying to change which is good. But regardless, I've got everything I need right here.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Alright Fin, you're up next," Kathy said excitedly, handing him a ball of yarn and pair of scissors. He eyed Alex for a moment, looking her profiled up and down before measuring a piece of string out and giving it a snip.

Regarding the length of the piece, Alex glared at him. "Det. Tutuola," she said with mock acrimony, "I strongly suggest that you take a few inches off of that string there is you don't want your next warrant request to be a living nightmare."

Fin grinned and shook his head, handing his guess to Kathy. "Sorry Counselor."

Grabbing the yarn again, Kathy took her turn and then handed the objects to Olivia. "Last turn, mommy," she said with a smile.

Olivia faced Alex and looked at her mischievously. The blonde raised an eyebrow.

"Babe, I suggest you think wisely before making and decisions. The couch isn't the most comfortable of sleeping situations." Olivia removed some of the string she had snipped.

"Alright Alex, let's see how big you actually are," Kathy said, wrapping the yarn around Alex's midsection. Huang and Maureen were short of the mark, each receiving an appreciative smile from the attorney. Cragen's string on the other hand was very much long, resulting in an outbreak of laughs from the group. The other guesses were all in a similar range, but none fell as closely as Olivia's, a mere half inch off of Alex's actually bump size.

"Aw, man, this is rigged," Fin complained as Olivia received a victory kiss from Alex, "I mean, she sees Alex's body all the time." His comment resulted in some amused stares and two very uncomfortable women. "Oh, naw, I didn't mean it like that!"

"On the contrary, Det. Tutuola, I believe your observation is quite accurate," Donnelly said with a smirk, causing Olivia and Alex to blush furiously.

Stifling a laugh, Kathy decided to save the couple from further embarrassment. "How about we open some presents you guys?" The group settled down in front of Alex and Olivia, who proceeded through the mound of presents. From Olivia's fellow detectives, they received a rather expensive jogging stroller that Olivia had mentioned she had her eyes on. Munch threw in a baby monitor, citing several conspiracy theories to demonstrate the fact that their daughter should get used to monitoring from the start. Kathy, Elliot, and the kids also gave them a basket full of several essential baby items (diapers, bottles, cute onesies, and the works). Huang gifted a beautiful mobile while Melinda gave the two a baby bath kit. Donnelly's present consisted of several books – all probably too advanced for an infant – with the statement that they should challenge their daughter. Simon had given them a soft pink blanket. Alex's family and colleagues gave them assorted toys and clothing. Finally, Olivia's heart was warmed when they unwrapped Cragen's gift: a baby book and a fluffy brown teddy bear with a large pink bow. He had leaned over to the detective annd given her a hug, whispering, "After everything you've been through, Olivia, you deserve all of this. Enjoy every moment."

A round of thank yous and hugs were exchanged and Elliot tagged along with the couple to help them load their gifts into the apartment. Later that night, Alex was placing freshly washed baby clothes into the dresser while Olivia put bedding on the newly finished crib, placing the bear in the corner. She walked over and wrapped her arms around Alex, who leaned back against her lazily.

"Tired, sweetheart?"

Olivia felt Alex nod against her chest and guided the blonde into the bedroom. Slipping into a tee shirt and sweats, she sat on the bed and watched as Alex stripped off her clothing, leaving her in just a pair of panties. She sat there in awe of her wife's body, admiring each and every curve that had appeared on Alex's still thin frame, heavily swollen breasts, the large bump that jutted out above her hips, pale skin that she had Olivia rub lotion on daily at to prevent stretch marks. She was stunningly beautiful – ethereal.

Pulling a saggy NYPD tee shirt on, Alex cocked her head to the side. "What?" she asked the detective as her eyes wandered up and down the blonde's figure.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders in mock innocence. "You know, just 'seeing your body.' Got to make sure I'm reigning champion with that string game... you know, should we play again."

Alex smirked, moving over to stand between Olivia's seated legs. "Is that so?" she said, looking her dead in the eyes. "Well then detective, I think I can help you with that." She gave her a mischievous smile and placed Olivia's hands at the hem of her shirt before capturing her in a sensuous kiss.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Ms. Cabot! Ms. Cabot!" a voice yelled at Alex, shoes clicking behind her down the hall. The attorney turned to see Georgina Freds, one of SVU's victims and her current case.

"Hi Georgina," she greeted. Noting the young woman's frantic disposition, she added with concern "Are you alright?"

The girl shook her head and explained nervously. "Detective Stabler said you were leaving. That someone else was going to be taking over my case..."

Alex sighed. Though she had explained the situation to Georgina at the onset, she knew victims of trauma sometimes blocked out certain things. "Um, yes, Georgina. I'm sorry, I thought we were clear earlier. Today's my last day in the office. Mr. Nichols will be handling the trial from this point on..."

Georgina shook her head vehemently, her black hair moving wildly in front of her face. "N – no! Please, Ms. Cabot, I'm only comfortable with you!"

"I understand Georgina, but Mr. Nichols is extremely qualified to represent you. Everything will be..."

"No! No! I won't appear in court if you're not the one questioning me."

Alex massaged the bridge of her nose in frustration. She didn't want to threaten holding the woman in contempt, knowing that would only exacerbate her fears. She sighed heavily, realizing what she had to due in order to achieve a successful statement, a key component of the evidence. "Okay," she breathed, mentally tabulating the trial's schedule, "I will handle the trial." It wasn't often that Alex gave into anyone, but she was quite frankly too tired to try to reason with Georgina at this point.

Georgina smiled widely. "Oh, thank you so much, Ms. Cabot," she beamed before heading back down the hall.

Later that evening over dinner, Alex informed Olivia of her decision.

"No," the detective had simply said in response.

"Liv, I can handle it. It's just another week and a half..."

"Alex, you're pregnant. I don't want you stressing yourself out more than necessary this last month."

"It _is_ necessary," Alex refuted. "Georgina refuses to testify unless I'm the one questioning her. We need that testimony, Liv. It's some of our most irrefutable evidence."

"Since when do you give in just because someone wants something?"

Alex sighed. "Please Liv, it's fine. The girl's scared. All the trial prep is done for the most part – I didn't want to trust it to Nichol's. I can do this."

Olivia groaned. "Fine! But other than physically being in court you're staying home and resting. And if you get tired at all, you are giving up this case," she said sternly.

Alex nodded, happy to have gotten her way even though she wasn't thrilled about handling the case. A week and a half, she kept repeating to herself. Just a week and a half.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Mr. Tucker, can you please tell me what this is?" Alex asked, gesturing to a piece of evidence.

"My laptop," the middle aged man grumbled, pulling uncomfortably at his tie.

"Right, and as you live alone, is there anyone else other than you who has access to your personal computer?"

"No."

"Mr. Tucker, the detectives found several candid images of Georgina Freds saved on this computer. So if you are the only one with access to the laptop, would it be accurate to say that you are the one who put them there."

"Objection: speculation!"

"Sustained."

"I'll rephrase. Mr. Tucker, are you the one who took these pictures of the victim, Georgina Freds, and downloaded them onto your computer."

"Yes but..."

"Mr. Tucker, what is the date on these photos."

"December 2."

"Right, and do you know when was Ms. Freds attacked?"

"December 3."

"So, can you please explain why you took over one hundred pictures of the victim, a woman you did not even know, the day before she was attacked?"

While the defendant was giving a lame excuse for the "coincidence," Alex felt a sharp sensation at in her abdomen. At first she attributed it to a sharp kick, but several seconds later felt it again. She tried to focus. "Mr. Tucker, is it also just a coincidence that your fingerprints were found at the crime scene?"

"It's a public park..."

"In the women's rest room –" Her words were cut off by another sharp pain. _Shit_.

A/N: Please review and let me know if you guys are enjoying! Also, please check out the POLL on my profile. Currently, there's a 4 WAY TIE that needs to be rectified, lol


	15. Chapter 14: Everything

A/N: I was going to wait a little longer to post this but was too excited. The song for this chapter is "Everything" by Michael Buble

**Chapter 14: Everything**

"Braxon Hicks," Dr. Gil explained, looking up from examining Alex, "It's very common in the last term of pregnancy, especially if the mother is very active, dehydrated, stressed..." Olivia raised an accusing eyebrow towards Alex.

Alex ignored her. "So... I'm not in labor?"

Dr. Gil smiled, removing her gloves and grabbing an informative pamphlet off the counter, which she handed to Alex. "Nope, not yet! Hopefully not for a couple more weeks. Braxon Hicks are harmless but can be very painful. Because it's so late in your pregnancy, I'm not very concerned. You can go home, but I recommend you rest..."

"Oh don't worry," Olivia said, grabbing Alex's hand, "she will be doing just that."

Dr. Gil chuckled lightly, "Well Alex, I have no doubt that you're in good hands. I'll see you on Monday for your next appointment. If you have any problems before then, please don't hesitate to call."

The couple thanked the doctor and Olivia helped Alex to her feet and out into the car. Once they arrived home, Olivia settled Alex into bed, handing her a glass of water.

"I'm going to go make us some lunch. You stay put," the brunette ordered gently.

"Liv," Alex whined, "The doctor said to relax, not go on bed rest. I'm fine..."

Olivia held up a hand to stop her. "And I'm not taking any chances." She pecked Alex on the lips and headed out of the room. Alex sighed and grabbed her phone, dialing Gregory Nichol's number. "Yes, Greg. It's Alex. Yeah, no, I'm fine. I was just calling to see how the rest of the trial went. Okay, good. Tomorrow then? Okay, please call me immediately. Thanks. Bye."

Towards the end of the conversation, Olivia returned to the room with a mug of tea and a couple of sandwiches. She handed a plate to Alex and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Nichols?"

"Yes, court just finished up for the day. Jury's in deliberation and should be out tomorrow."

"And Georgina?"

"Reluctantly testified. Elliot talked to her."

"Good, good," Olivia said, taking a bite out of her sandwich. After a moment, she chuckled. Shaking her head, "I can't believe you went through a day of court while in labour."

"False labour!"

"You were still having contractions!"

"What else was I supposed to do, Liv? Just stop in the middle of questioning?" Alex asked defiantly.

"Yes!" the brunette exclaimed, as though the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, perfect. And then Tucker gets another day to go over his case with Paxton and figure out a way to bull shit the jury when Nichols tries to get him to talk. No way in hell!"

Olivia rolled her eyes, wrapping her arm around the blonde. "You're insane," she said teasingly.

Alex smirked, resting her head on the detective's shoulder. "I prefer dedicated to the cause."

The next two weeks were a living hell for Alex. Not only was she under Olivia-imposed bed rest – which included, due to the detective's doubts that Alex would adhere to rest and relaxation – almost constant supervision, but she also had Braxon Hicks pains almost constantly. She tried everything to relieve the uncomfortable pressure – laying in various recommended positions, yoga breathing, massages – but to no avail. The holiday season was difficult, coming and going quickly; the couple wound up spending most of their last Christmas alone cuddling in bed, Alex to exhausted to do much else. With the pain and practical house arrest was making her miserable, Alex was counting down the days until her due date.

At present moment, Alex was in the midst of a particularly uncomfortable series of contractions, laying in fetal position on the couch. Despite the fact that Braxon Hicks contractions were supposed to be pretty constant, these seem to be getting worse and worse. For one of the first times in the past couple of weeks, Alex was completely alone, having convinced Olivia that she would be fine without Kathy or someone else helping her while the detective went into work for a few hours. Olivia had reluctantly obliged, settling her wife down on the couch with her cell phone within close reach, should she need anything. The blonde almost regretted this decision, wanting nothing more than to have someone at her side at the given moment – particularly her wife – comforting her. Grimacing as another pain shot through her abdomen, Alex slowly stood up and headed to the bedroom, hoping that she could manage to get some sleep while she waited for Olivia.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"So we collar him!" Olivia offered, "Stick him in the cage for a while and see if that helps break him."

"And if it doesn't?" Cragen questioned, "We have to let him go and then he's in the wind."

"Well, Cap, we have to do something..." Elliot added, looking at the image of a former convict they currently were looking at for rape homicide.

Cragen breathed in heavily, rubbing his forehead. "You two better break him," he said before heading back to his office.

"I'll take that as permission," Elliot shrugged. "Let's go pick him up."

Olivia felt her phone vibrate against her hip. "Hang on a sec," she said, picking up her phone, "Benson."

She heard Alex's voice at the other end of the line. "Liv, don't freak out."

As if that was going to do anything but make her more panicked. "Alex, what's wrong? Is it the baby?"

"Liv, Liv, calm down," Alex said, pressing her lips together in pain, "Yeah, I think – I think my water broke." Well, she knew her water broke for her current position on top of wet sheets.

Olivia's brown eyes grew wide. "Okay, okay," she said, trying not to sound nervous, "I'll be right there. Just breathe, baby. I love you."

"Love you too."

As his partner hung up her phone, Elliot acknowledge the anxious look on her face. "Liv, what's wrong? Is Alex alright?"

"Umm, yeah," Olivia responded, slightly dazed, starting to shuffle through her desk haphazardly, "Her water just broke. Um, what do I – I need... keys... keys," she repeated, searching through her desk. Elliot grabbed the silver keychain off her desk, holding it in front of her.

"What's going on out here?" Cragen asked, returning to the squad room, "Benson, Stabler, I thought you were going to pick up Isaac."

As his partner was currently rendered speechless, Elliot explained, "Alex's water just broke."

Cragen's eyes widened in surprise. "I'll drive you."

"No, no, I've got it," Olivia said, coming to her senses. She quickly slipped on her coat and started to rush towards the door. Elliot grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping her momentarily.

"Liv, take a deep breathe." The brunette obliged, releasing a heavy sigh. Elliot smiled, patting her on the shoulder. "Good luck partner. Keep us updated." Olivia returned his grin, finally absorbing the totality of the situation. After all this time, the baby was almost here. Olivia moved briskly out of the building and hurried on home.

"Alex? Alex, where are you baby?" Olivia called, entering the apartment.

"Bedroom," Alex yelled back. Olivia could her the pain in her voice and hurried down the hall. She found Alex sitting up on the side of their bed, breathing heavily. To her left, Olivia saw that the sheets were slightly stained with fluid. Noticing her wife's observation, Alex explained sheepishly, "Sorry, I was going to clean that up."

Olivia shook her head and rushed over to Alex, kneeling in front of her. She placed one hand on her stomach, noticing that it was currently hard with a contraction, and softly grazed the blonde's cheek with the other. "Don't worry about it," she comforted, "How far apart are your contractions, Sweetie?"

"About eight minutes."

Olivia nodded, standing up and placing an affectionate kiss on her forehead. She looked down and noticed that Alex was still in the pajamas she left her in this morning. "Okay baby, I'm going to grab you a change of clothes and your bag and then will go to the hospital, okay?" Alex nodded. Olivia left her side for a brief moment to do as she explained but quickly returned to her wife's side. Helping Alex to stand up when she was ready, Olivia dressed her in a fresh set of sweats and pulled on her coat. Wrapping her arm around the blonde's waist, she held her close and supported her on their way to the car, stopping once to coach her through a particularly strong contraction.

Fifteen minutes later, Olivia cautiously drove into the lot out Mercy General's delivery wing. The couple was met at the door by a nurse, who eased Alex into a wheelchair and pushed her into the building. The expectant couple was settled into a room and informed that Dr. Gil was on her way. After thanking the nurse, Olivia shuffled closer to Alex's side, brushing her blond locks out of her face.

"How are you feeling?"

Alex managed a slight grin, pressing her lips together tightly. "How does it look," she said with a tired chuckle.

Olivia smiled softly. "Is there anything I can get you?" Alex shook her head and the two remained in silence for a moment. Gripped by another contraction, Alex squeezed Olivia's hand tightly and the brunette breathed calming words to her through its duration, using her free hand to comb her fingers through Alex's hair. About ten minutes later, a very cheerful Dr. Gil entered the room.

"Hello ladies! How are we feeling, Alex? Ready to meet your baby?"

Alex nodded with a smile, looking up at Olivia who kissed her forehead.

"Good," Dr. Gil grinned, washing her hands and putting on a pair of latex gloves. "Let's see how we're doing then," she said, moving to separate Alex's legs and examine her cervix. "Uh huh, okay." She looked back up at the nervously awaiting couple. "Everything looks fine. You're only about three centimeters dilated though, so this could be a while." Alex sighed heavily and Dr. Gil gave her a sympathetic smile. "If things become too unbearable, let the nurse know and we can administer an epidural. Until then, however, just try to breath and stay calm. Hopefully your baby will be here by the end of the day."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Ow, fffuck!" Alex muttered, squeezing her eyes closed. Hours had past and she was exhausted and in excruciating pain, curled on her side with Olivia rubbing her back in an attempt to relieve some of her wife's discomfort. Alex was determined to get through labor without an epidural, having a life-long fear of needles, but it was already proving difficult. And she still was only six centimeters along.

After some convincing, Alex followed Dr. Gil's advice and went for a walk with Olivia in hopes to speed up the labor process. As the two moved slowly down the hospital corridors, Alex reflected on how thankful she was to have Olivia at her side. As if her wife hadn't been supportive enough throughout the entire pregnancy, she was incredible now, willing to do whatever Alex needed, constantly whispering words of comfort to her, telling her how great she was doing. Even when Alex had gone through a particularly bitchy period somewhere around five centimeters, to the extent where nurses were avoiding her room, Olivia hadn't left her side. Alex sighed heavily, relaxing against her wife.

"How about we get you back into the room, baby?" Alex nodded in agreement. Instead of sitting in bed alone this time, Olivia joined her, climbing up behind her and supporting Alex against her chest. Alex happily settled into the comforting embrace, sighing in relief as Olivia massaged her tense shoulder muscles.

Dr. Gil smiled when she found the two in the same position an hour later – at this point around midnight – Alex resting her eyes while Olivia watched her tiredly, rubbing her hands over the blonde's large stomach. When she saw the doctor, Olivia place a soft kiss on Alex's head to get her attention. Alex yawned exhaustedly.

"Hey you guys. Just came to check and see how things were progressing." Olivia nodded and slipped out of bed carefully, propping up a few pillows to make Alex comfortable. After examining the blonde, Dr. Gil smiled widely at the pair. "Good news! You're fully dilated, Alex. I'm going to go get all washed up. A nurse will be down here in a few moments to take you both to delivery.

When the doctor had left the room, Olivia leaned over to look at Alex and quickly noticed the petrified look in her eyes. "Hey, Alex, are you okay, sweetheart?" she asked with concern. When the blonde tried to reassure her, Olivia pried further, "Come on, Alex, tell me what's wrong."

Alex shrugged, her eyes glistening. "I'm scared."

"Aww, baby, it's okay. I'm scared too. But I'm going to be right there to help you through this, okay?" She kissed away a lone tear that had escaped down her cheek. Alex nodded, caressing Olivia's cheek before wincing because of another contraction. "You're going to be amazing."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Let's have another push, Alex," Dr. Gil coached, encouraging the exhausted blonde to continue. Alex couldn't even tell how long she had been pushing at this point. At this point, she was cursing her mother for giving her what apparently was a more narrow birthing canal.

"Ughh, I can't," she panted, falling back limply against the sheets. She looked up at Olivia with doe eyes and a pitiful look, "Livvy, do it for me," she whined, completely exhausted.

Olivia couldn't help but smile. Even after countless hours of labor, Alex looked beautiful. "I would if I could, baby," she said, brushing Alex's sweat matted hair from her forehead, "You can do it, Alex. Just keep pushing. You're doing amazing."

As another contraction ripped through her system, Alex resumed pushing. "Great Alex, one – two – three..." Dr. Gil counted off.

The blonde gripped Olivia's hand so tightly the latter was sure it was turning purple, but in the moment she didn't care. She watched in awe as Alex struggled with all the strength she had left in her. "That's it baby, keep going," she encouraged, helping hold Alex's leg in the proper position. While Olivia had helped other women through the birthing process before – Kathy just over a year ago – nothing was as incredible as this.

At the end of the ten second interval, Alex let out an exhausted breath. "Okay Alex, one more push and you should have your baby."

"What?" Alex managed to pant out.

"She's crowning," Dr. Gil explained. Alex looked up at Olivia who was now leaning over to see her child's head beginning to emerge. With happiness glistening in her eyes, she turned back to Alex and smiled widely, squeezing her hand gently.

That was all Alex needed.

Seconds later, a strong, healthy cry pierced through the room. Dr. Gil held up a squirming, pink baby for Alex and Olivia to see. "Congratulations!" Alex let out a tired but joy-filled sob. At this point, tears were streaming down Olivia's cheeks as a nurse helped her cut the umbilical cord. She moved back to Alex and kissed her several times, mumbling against her lips, "Thank you so much."

Less than a minute later, Alex held hers and Olivia's daughter for the first time, the nurse informing them that the baby was perfectly healthy as she placed the now clean and swaddled child into the blonde's arms. Settled in her mother's embrace, the baby's cries lessened into soft whimpers and eventually a content gurgle.

Olivia couldn't tear her eyes away. Her daughter was beautiful, a miniature version of Alex with wisps of light blond hair and flawlessly fair skin. She was breathing softly from her small button nose. Olivia hoped that when she opened her eyes, she would have the same breath-taking orbs as her mother.

Alex looked up at her with a smile. "She's perfect."

Olivia nodded, still awestruck. Kissing Alex, she responded, "You both are."

"Do you want to hold her?"

Olivia nodded again, too overcome to form any words. After she sat down next to her on the bed, Alex carefully placed the baby into Olivia's arms, watching as her wife gently stroked the side of their daughter's cherubic face. "So perfect," Olivia breathed softly.

Alex smiled, settling comfortably against her wife's side, resting her head against her, not once taking her eyes off of the small bundle. Olivia rested her cheek against Alex's head. After years of thinking she would end up alone, would never get to experience the joys of motherhood, she almost couldn't believe she was sitting there with the love of her life, holding their newborn daughter.

She now had everything.

A/N: Any thoughts? Please review for an update :) PS – last chance to vote on the baby's name!


	16. Chapter 15: Lullaby

A/N: SO SORRY for the break! A lot of things going on in the real world, then writer's block, lol. Hope you enjoy this chapter! The song is "Lullaby" by the Dixie Chicks.

**Chapter 15: Lullaby**

"Congratulations, mom."

Fixated on one particular infant sleeping in the nursery, Olivia didn't even noticed that Elliot had come up behind her. Turning around, she met her partner's wide smile. "Is that her in the middle?"

Olivia nodded proudly, turning back to her daughter. "Amelia Olivia Cabot-Benson, born at 1:34 AM on January 9, 6 lbs 2 ounces."

"Amelia Olivia, huh?" he affirmed, looking at the newborn, who was sleeping peacefully. "She's beautiful, Liv."

"She looks just like Alex."

Elliot smiled at his partner's undeniable happiness. He nodded in agreement, "She does, she certainly does. How's Alex feeling?"

"Good. A little sore and tired, but good. She's asleep."

"Yeah, that's what the nurse said. She sent me this way. What, you couldn't sleep?"

Olivia shrugged. "I did a little but then I decided to come down here for a while."

Elliot understood. When each of his children had been born, he couldn't rest unless they were at his side. Even though most doctors wanted to keep the baby in the nursery for the first night to let the mother gain some much needed rest, he had been able to convince all but one to make an exception.

Olivia looked down at her watch. "Elliot, it's only seven in the morning. What are _you_ doing down here?"

"Figured I'd come in before work. I mean, with your camera phone being broken, I knew I'd have to come down here to see this little cutie." Olivia smiled and he continued. "Speaking of which, I promised the 1-6 I'd snap a photo so they could see her as well. May I?" Olivia nodded happily and Elliot took a picture on his cell. "I'll share this with the guys, though I'm sure they'll all be stopping by later on tonight"

Olivia grinned and gave Elliot a hug. "Thanks partner."

"Don't mention it," he said, hugging her close before turning to leave. "Tell Alex congrats for me when she wakes up. I'll come back later if you don't mind..."

"Not at all" Olivia said, shaking her head, "Bring Kathy and the kids too."

"Of course," Elliot nodded with a smile, heading down the hall. Olivia smiled softly to herself. While she was glad to see her partner, she was glad that she would have until the evening to spend with just Alex and Mia.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Alex's eyes fluttered open tiredly and she was instantly warmed by the sight in front of her. Sitting beside her bed was Olivia, who was gently rocking a softly sleeping infant, her brown eyes filled with a type of love that Alex had never seen in the brunette before. She was humming a soft lullaby, rocking the baby to the rhythm. [A/N This would be the song for the chapter]

"Hey," Alex yawned contently, looking at their daughter. Olivia looked up, brushing her bangs away from her eyes.

"Morning beautiful," she said, smiled radiating. Carefully standing up, she moved to hand Mia over to Alex. "Say good morning to Mommy, sweetheart." The baby yawned widely and blew a few bubbles with her lips before nuzzling against Alex's chest. Olivia giggled. "Close enough." She leaned over and gave Alex a kiss. "Did you sleep well, love?"

Alex nodded, kissing Olivia again. "Yeah, I was exhausted. I wish we could just take her home already," she said with a pout, placing a tender peck on the top of Mia's head.

Olivia nodded in agreement. "The doctors were telling me tomorrow morning, Sweetheart." She sat down at the edge of the bed, wrapping her arm around the blonde. "Elliot stopped by this morning. Said the guys will probably be coming by later if that's okay."

"I'll have to get cleaned up but sure." She added with a smile, "It'll give us a chance to show Mia off."

"Oh believe me, she's already very popular." All the nurses Olivia had spoken too this morning commented on how particularly adorable Mia was, as well as how calm and peaceful. Olivia had to wonder where she got those latter traits from...

An older nurse who had helped the two the day before walked into the room. "Good morning, ladies!" she greeted. "Alex, how are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you."

"Good, good. Now it's time for Amelia's next feeding. Would you like to try breast feeding this time?" Alex nodded enthusiastically, looking up at Olivia. "Alright," the nurse began with a smile, "Let me show you how." With a blush, Alex pulled aside her terrycloth robe and allowed the older woman to help her out. The nurse was also very diligent to keep Olivia involved as well, so when the baby was reluctant to latch, she instructed the brunette to coax her by caressing the side of her face closest to Alex.

Olivia softly traced her finger along Mia's little cheek. "Come on, angel," she encouraged gently. Soon, the baby obliged and eagerly began suckling, clearly very hungry. After making sure the couple was settled, and helping Alex switch breasts, the nurse gave the family some time alone, instructing them to call should they have any problems.

When they were alone, Olivia asked, "How does it feel?" Alex looked up at her, still carefully supporting the baby's head.

"A little bit strange, but very amazing," she answered honestly before turning to watch their daughter once more. Olivia mustered a smile, touched to watch this intimate moment between her wife and daughter, how perfectly the two seemed to be bonded. In some ways, she wished she could experience breastfeeding as well. For the first time since Mia had been born, she found herself doubting her own abilities to parent and feared she wouldn't be able to provide her daughter with what she needed. Alex and Mia had a natural connection – would she be able to mother too? Was the baby's having her name enough? Before she could wallow too much, however, she was torn from her thoughts by Mia's wailing. Alex tried to comfort her but was without much luck. The blonde anxiously handed her over to her Olivia, who began to rock her back and forth rhythmically, soothing her cries. A few minutes later, Mia was peacefully asleep. And Olivia had realized that everything would be just fine.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Hey mommies, are you decent?"

"Yeah, come on in, El," the detective heard his partner say with a chuckle. Elliot opened the cracked door and entered the room, followed by the other detectives of the 1-6 as well as Cragen. Alex was propped up in bed having something to eat while Olivia sat next to her with Mia. The couple was soon flooded with congratulations and Mia with attention. Reluctantly, Olivia handed her daughter off to her partner to hold.

"Hey Amelia," he cooed, leaving his brusque demeanor behind as he held the small bundle, "Welcome to the family, little girl."

He then handed the baby over to Fin, who held her carefully. "Wow, she's the spitting image of Alex! Down to the blue eyes."

"Those might darken though. We'll have to wait and see. I, for one, wouldn't mind her having dark brown eyes," Alex said, giving Olivia a tender smile.

"Either way, she's beautiful. You're gonna have to watch out, Liv. Boys are gonna be all over her," Fin teased.

Olivia groaned dramatically and mumbled, "Don't remind me."

Fin chuckled before turning to Munch. "Hey partner, you want to hold her." The older man nodded, awkwardly trying to support the tiny infant in his arms. "Oh, dear..." Fin said with a sigh, "Dude, just hand her to Cragen." The two gave their congratulations once more before heading out for the night, bickering on their way.

"I'm going to head out too for a sec," Elliot informed, "Kathy and the kids are here so I'll direct them this way." Olivia nodded before turning back to the one remaining man, who was cradling her daughter as though she was made of porcelain. She smiled softly before turning to Alex, who nodded with approval.

"Hey Cap, can we talk to you for a sec?"

Cragen turned his gaze upwards, still carefully supporting Mia in his arm. "Of course. What's up?"

Olivia inhaled deeply. "Well, you know how Alex and myself especially are lacking in the whole extended family department. I mean, Alex has aunts and uncles and cousins, but she's lost her parents and my mom is gone... You and the guys, outside of Alex and Mia, you're my family. Especially you... I mean, ever since I can to the 1-6 you looked out for me, beyond work and stuff. You're special to me, to both of us..." She turned to Alex to continue.

"Don, we don't want Amelia growing up without a family outside the two of us. So we were wondering if you... if you would be a sort of... surrogate grandpa," the blonde said with a small smile. Cragen was silent for a moment, simply looking down at the small baby in his arms. He and his wife never were blessed with having children of their own, despite his desires to. The cards just never seemed to fold that way, and it was something he accepted, though never liked. As for Olivia, he had always had a special place for her in his heart, had looked at her as something more than simply his detective...

He looked up at Olivia and Alex, who were staring with anxiously awaiting eyes. Clearing his throat, Cragen responded, "I would be honoured." Giving Mia a kiss of the forehead, he handed the her to Alex before giving both women a tender hug. The group spent a few more moments together in comfortable silence, which was soon broken by the scuffing of children's sneakers against the tile floor. Cragen gave the couple a nod and wished them goodnight before heading out of the room, knowing very well it would soon be too hectic with the entire Stabler clan.

"Is she here? Is she here?" Dicky and Lizzie came bounding into the hospital room, eyes wide, smiles eager.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh before holding up a finger to her lips to silence the duo before they scared Mia. "Yes she is. You've got to be calm though you two. Remember, she's a newborn." Dicky and Lizzie nodded simultaneously and stealthily walked over to the other side of the bed where Alex was rocking Mia in her arms.

"Aww, she's so cute!" Lizzie began to squeal, leaning over to touch her.

"Hey!" Kathy interrupted roughly. The twins looked up at their mother nervously. "Hands?" Dicky and Lizzie held up their palms. Kathy pointed to the sink in the room. While the kids cleaned themselves up, she walked over and greeted Alex and Olivia with a hug and kiss. Balancing Eli on her hip, she turned her attention to Mia. "Olivia, Alex, she's absolutely precious!" she cooed at the infant, who was at present moment watching she and Eli with wide eyes. Maureen and Kathleen also entered the room, holding several pink balloons and a pot of flowers from the hospital gift shop. Before they could even finish a hello, Dicky and Lizzie returned to the bedside, anxious to play with the new baby. Knowing how rambunctious (and germy) her children could be, Kathy had them settle with playing with Mia's feet. The group stayed for a while before heading home, leaving Olivia, Alex, and Mia to relax.

Alex yawned as she burped Mia over her shoulder, having just finished a bedtime feeding.

"Tired?"

The blonde nodded. "Exhausted. Ah, families," she said with a shake of the head.

Olivia nodded in agreement, happy with her wife's word choice. It had taken her years to realize it, but everyone who had come by that day was her family, thick as thieves. "Me too," she agreed, "And I love them, but this," she said, gesturing to the three of them, "is even better."

Alex smiled, moving aside so Olivia could join her in laying on the bed. "I agree," she returned, as Olivia played with their daughter's fingers as the baby slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Ten perfect fingers, ten perfect toes," Olivia muttered tiredly, snuggling closer against Alex's side.

"I'd love her even if there wasn't."

"Me too."

When she was sure Mia was entirely asleep, Alex carefully got up and placed her in the bassinet next to their bed. Returning to Olivia's embrace, she said, "You'll have to thank Elliot for letting Mia stay here tonight. Pulling strings with the nurses," she said with a smirk.

"Yeah," Olivia agreed, "It was good having him come by. And the kids." She turned her attention to Alex's hands, playing aimlessly with the bands on her left ring finger.

"Absolutely. Though they are a bit high-strung..." Alex began with a chuckle.

"Five kids too much for you?"

"Seems like too much for anyone!" she said with a laugh, "I don't know how Kathy does it."

"Me either," Olivia contended, shaking her head. She paused for a moment. "More kids would be nice though."

Alex sat up sharply, turning to face her. Her eyes were wide with shock. "For me and you?" she asked, almost incredulously.

"Yeah, I mean, in the future you know maybe," Olivia stuttered sheepishly, "You and me, we're only children. I always thought... I mean, I think it would be nice for Mia to have a brother or sister, you know, someone to be there for her when we're not." She cleared her throat nervously. "Haven't you ever thought about having more kids?"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "You're seriously asking me this after I just went through over 24-hours of labor."

Olivia bit her lip before noticing that Alex was only being half-serious. "Good point," she said with a slight chuckle before flicking off the side lamp. This discussion could certainly wait. She kissed Alex goodnight and whispered the same to Mia before wrapping her arm around her wife and closing her eyes. Just as she was about to doze off, she heard Alex mutter something beside her.

"What was that, Alex?"

She felt the attorney inhale softly. "I said, more kids would be nice."

With a wide grin plastered on her face now, Olivia kissed Alex's temple before pulling her into a tighter embrace. A few minutes later, both women were asleep, both with smiles on their faces.


	17. Chapter 16: Safe

A/N: The song for this chapter is "Safe" by Icarus Account.

**Chapter 16: Safe**

Olivia drummed her fingers impatiently upon her desk, glancing up every couple of minutes at the clock.

"Liv – earth to Olivia... Liv!"

"Huh, what?" Olivia responded abruptly, blinking out of her daze.

"Did you see anything in the file?"

"The what?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes slightly. "The file on Jenson you were looking through. Did you find anything?" Olivia looked down at the brown folder in front of her. Page 2... where she had been for probably the last half an hour. Elliot smirked at his partner's gaping silence. "I'll take that as a no."

"Sorry El, I've just been distracted." And she had, all day. Although she had been able to take a couple of days off to be at the hospital and then help settle in with Mia, a new case had required Olivia to return to work, leaving only Alex at home to care for the five-day old infant. The attorney was perfectly capable; that was not Olivia's concern at all. In fact, she had never seen Alex as tender and caring as she was towards Mia. It warmed her heart to watch her wife care for their daughter. And that was the problem. Olivia wanted to be home with her two favorite girls, not sitting at her desk with a cup of lukewarm coffee, looking at just another dead-end lead. She was passionate about her job, but in this moment, she just missed Alex and Mia so much more.

Elliot nodded with a soft smile. "I can tell," he said with a small laugh, "Well, Cragen told me to let you know we're closing up for the night. So..." he said, picking the file up off of the desk, "how about I take this home with me and you get back to Alex and Mia..."

Olivia frowned. "No, El, let me take that with me. I don't mind..." she lied through her teeth. Elliot saw right through that.

"Ah, don't worry about it. Let's just say you owe me coffee and a danish tomorrow morning."

"Thanks El," Olivia said gratefully. Grabbing her things, she put on her coat and headed on home.

About twenty minutes later, she unlocked the door of her apartment and stepped inside, heading down the hallway. She couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. The normally impeccable living space was in complete disarray – well, at least by Alex's standards. The sink was full of a few bottles and a dish or two. A pacifier was sitting on the counter next to a toy or two. Moving to the living room, she found some more toys and a blanket, a onesie, Mia's bouncy seat... Olivia continued onto the nursery, assuming she would find Alex there. And she was right. The blonde was oscillating slowing back and forth on the rocking chair, eyes closed, Mia cradled in her arms fast asleep. Olivia tiptoed into the room over to her side, placing a soft kiss on the crown of her head. Alex's eyes opened tiredly. "Hey," Olivia whispered, "You guys do okay?"

Alex nodded with a sigh. "Hang on a sec," she responded quietly, standing up. Cautiously, she went over and placed Mia in her crib, flicking on the baby monitor and leading Olivia out of the room. Once they reached the living room, Alex spoke once more at normal volume. "She went down about an hour ago... finally." Surveying the surrounding area, she added, "Sorry about the mess. She's been colicky all day. Wouldn't let me put her down at all until now."

"Don't worry about it," Olivia said with a small smile. She looked over her completely exhausted wife. "Have you eaten at all?"

Alex bit her lip and thought for a moment. "Uhh... yeah, I had some toast for lunch."

Olivia placed a kiss on her forehead, catching Alex's weight as she leaned in for a tired embrace. "You go lay down for a bit, okay. I'll fix us some dinner and clean this up." Alex smiled appreciatively and headed down the hall to their bedroom. About an hour later, the apartment was back in order – bottles and toys sanitized, dirty dishes washed, baby stuff put away, laundry in the dryer – and dinner was put down on the table. Olivia sauntered over to the bedroom and peaked inside. Alex was strewn out on the bed, not even under the covers. She hadn't changed – not that it mattered; she was in flannels and a tee anyway – and even her slippers were still on her feet. If she hadn't been so concerned that Alex was hungry, Olivia would have just left her to sleep. She moved over to the side of the bed and combed some of her blond hair aside. "Hey babe, dinner's ready." Alex mumbled something – probably dreamy nonsense – before flipping onto her side to face Olivia, who laughed when she realized Alex was still even wearing her glasses. "Aw, sweetie, let's get you some food so you can go back to sleep." Guiding the tired blonde to the kitchen, the couple was just about to sit down when a whimpering sound pierced through the baby monitor. Alex sighed heavily. "You start eating," Olivia offered, "I've got her."

Pushing open the door to the nursery, Olivia smiled when she saw her daughter, squirming in her crib. She picked up the tiny baby and gave her a kiss. "Hello princess! You gave mommy a run for her money today, didn't you. Yeah, you definitely get your high-maintenance attitude for her..." She lowered her voice to a hush, even though no one else was there. "Don't tell her I told you that." She bounced Mia up and down gently, hoping to soothe her discomfort. "What's wrong, love? Does you diaper need changing?" The detective checked and found that the baby was clean. She sighed. Mia had been diagnosed with colic the day prior and was prone to little fits. The crying itself didn't bother Olivia and Alex as much as the fact that they couldn't seem to calm their daughter down readily. Luckily, the doctor said that it should pass soon and was common with newborns. Olivia took some time just walking around the room, speaking softly to Mia, rubbing her back with small circles, which seemed to give the baby some relief. When the whimpering finally subsided, she said, "You must be hungry. It's time for you to have a feeding, baby girl. Let's go see if mommy's done with _her_ dinner." She carried Mia back to the kitchen, where she found Alex washing her dish in the sink. "Aw, Alex, I would've taken care of that."

Alex shook her head. "_You_ have done enough and need to eat," she ordered, gesturing to the still full plate of food at the table. She held out her arms for Mia.

Handing over their daughter, Olivia explained, "I think she's hungry."

"Yep, it's time for her feeding now," Alex said, looking at a chart she had made up to make sure that Mia was fed at the appropriate times. She settled back down in her chair, guiding Mia to her heavy breast, combing her fingers comfortingly through the tufts of light blond hair on the baby's head. When Mia was settled, she turned her attention back to Olivia. "How was your first day back?"

"Long," the brunette grimaced, looking up from her plate. She smiled softly, "I missed you and Mia."

"We missed you too."

"Yeah, I'm just going to have to get used to leaving her for a while."

"I'm dreading the day..." Alex had a month before she returned from maternity leave. She knew she had to return to work – it wasn't something she could give up to stay home all day, nor would it be financially smart – but actually doing so seemed much harder now that Mia was there with them. Taking her to daycare, even if it was on the same street as her office, would definitely be a struggle. "Anyway, how's my replacement doing."

Again, Olivia scowled. Nichols hadn't lasted so the temporary ADA assigned to SVU was Kim Greylek, a prosecutor from Washington D.C. who had worked for the Office of Violence Against Women. With that background, Olivia would have thought she would have welcomed her, but the detective (and her colleagues) already couldn't stand "the Crusader." "Pompous... and not in a lovable way," she teased, earning a glare.

"Just because I'm not all hormonal anymore doesn't mean that's a good idea," Alex responded, burping Mia over her shoulder.

"Noted," Olivia smirked, washing her dish in the sink.

"Alright, I think it's time for this little one to get to bed. Want to join?"

"Of course." Olivia wrapped her arm around Alex's waist and they headed back to the nursery.

Alex placed a tender kiss on Mia's forehead and placed the dozing infant into her crib. "Goodnight, Amelia. I love you."

"Mama loves you too, angel," Olivia added, stroking her cheek. When they got out of the room, Alex yawned heavily. "Come on, Alex, let's get you to bed."

"I think I'm going to shower first. I feel disgusting," she said, sticking out her tongue slightly.

Olivia nodded. "Okay, let me join you," she said nonchalantly. Alex quirked an eyebrow. "Aw, no, baby not like that. I mean that I have to take a shower too anyway. Plus, you look so tired I want to make sure you don't fall asleep standing up," Olivia said with a laugh.

"Got you. Okay, shall we then?" Alex asked, taking Olivia's hand and leading her towards the bathroom. The two stripped out of their respective garments and stepped into the inviting warmth of a steamy shower. Once inside, the two spent a couple of moments just relaxing in the streams of hot water, Olivia rubbing Alex's shoulders gently. She eventually added some soap to the mix, rubbing sudsy palms all over her wife's creamy skin, running her fingers gently over her swollen curves. She paused on the small bump that still remained, awestruck that just days age her daughter was still inside. It seemed so foreign now...

Alex turned to face Olivia, pressing a long kiss to her parted lips before squirting some shampoo into her own palms. She moved slender fingers through Olivia's chestnut hair, massaging her scalp. The brunette couldn't help but let out a small moan when she felt Alex's breast brush up against her, earning a smirk from the attorney. Olivia returned the favor, running her own hands through the lengths of Alex's golden tresses, enjoying the overwhelming scent of Alex's shampoo. When finished, she simply dragged her hands gently down her lithe sides, resting them on her hips, simply holding Alex as they enjoyed a few more moments of peaceful tranquility. The shower – washing one another – had not been a sexual thing, not salacious. Rather it was sensual and tender, leaving both individuals feeling amply loved.

Feeling her counterpart becoming more and more slack, clearly exhausted, Olivia turned off the faucet and helped Alex out of the shower. After getting their robes, she grabbed a towel from the cabinet and used it to take some of the wetness out of her wife's hair; she knew Alex would be too tired to blow dry it but didn't want her getting sick. Once Alex was settled in bed, she went back to the bathroom to get the baby monitor they had forgotten. On her way back to the master suite, she stopped by the nursery, smiling at the sleeping form of her daughter. She went over and place another soft kiss on her forehead before heading back down the hall.

She found that Alex was already motionless, lolled on her side. Curling up besides her, she heard Alex mumble sleepily: _I love you._ She pressed a kiss to the attorney's jawline and returned the sentiment. Then, knowing that the two most important people in her life were safe, sound, and tucked into bed, Olivia finally drifted off to sleep.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Are you sure you're comfortable with this?" Alex asked Maureen once more. Olivia sighed, grabbing Alex's wrist in a (another) attempt to lead her out the front door. She shot the eldest Stabler child an apologetic look. This was the first time the couple would be leaving Mia with a babysitter. The attorney had returned to work that Monday, so they had already tackled the mountain that was leaving her at daycare (even though Alex and Olivia alike stopped to check in on her at least once a day), but for Alex, the idea of having an untrained person care for their one-month-old daughter alone was proving difficult. Olivia had tried to convince her that she had all of the faith in the world in Maureen. After all, she was twenty years old, had four younger siblings of her own that she watched, and was a trained EMT should, God forbid, anything happen. Kathy was just a phone call away, as was Elliot. And – most notably – they were going out to eat within walking distance, a quick dinner to celebrate their one-year anniversary.

"Alex," Olivia drawled, giving her a tug.

"It's okay, Aunt Liv," Maureen said with a smile, turning back to the nervous blonde, "Don't worry, Alex. I babysat Eli for my parents when he was this little. Mia and I will be fine."

"Okay," Alex said cautiously. "Well, you have our cell phone numbers. I put them on the fridge just in case, along with the restaurant number. The neighbors are home too – on the right side _not_ the left. Umm, I showed you where all of her things were. Oh, remember, I put a bottle in the fridge – well, two in case one doesn't work or spills – you just have to heat it up. Not to hot though! I fed her already but just in case she's hungry. You know, her cry gets different when she's hungry. I wish you could have heard it first..."

"Alex," Olivia interrupted sharply, putting her hands on Alex's arms and turning her wife to face her. She softened her tone, "Baby, Mo's got this okay. You showed her everything she needs."

Alex bit her lip and then nodded. "Okay."

Olivia smiled, pecking her on the lips. "Good. Now, let's get going or we're going to be late for our reservations..." She placed a kiss on Mia's forehead. "Bye angel. See you in a couple of hours, Mo!" Alex gave Mia another kiss and was hurried out the door by Olivia.

They walked to the French restaurant a few blocks down, hand in hand. Though it was late February, the weather had been surprisingly warm and was certainly tolerable, even to Alex, who was wearing a cerise-colored dress that fell just above the knee. Even if she had been cold, though, Olivia doubted her wife would have noticed, having spent the entirety of their walk so far asking nervous questions. "What if she doesn't know..."

Olivia stopped in frustration, looking at her wife. The detective couldn't be mad though, seeing the true anxiety that covered the blonde's face. "Baby, please, I promise you that everything is going to be fine. Now, I really want to just enjoy this night with you, okay." With Alex's nod, she began walking again.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Your neuroticism is kind of endearing. You do realize you practically gave Maureen a minute-by-minute schedule for Mia." Olivia relaxed when she heard Alex laugh next to her.

"Okay, that maybe was a bit much."

The two engaged in a much less worrisome walk from that point on before arriving at _Chez __Jacqueline_. Just as they were being seated, Olivia examined Alex's face. "Go call," she relinquished, "but just once."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

[This section contains some more mature subject matter; proceed with discretion]

"Remember the look on Cragen's face when found out about us," Olivia stuttered out, already in a fit of laughter from hers and Alex's conversation on their walk back from dinner.

"Oh my God, that was so embarrassing," Alex giggled in return, a blush still rising up her neck as she remembered the incident:

_It had been early on in their relationship, about one month into their dating. Olivia had been stuck in the precinct late, catching up on paperwork that was due the next day. Instead of making the long trek back to her old apartment, she had decided to crash in the crib. Just as she was about to lay down, she heard a knock, surprisingly as she had figured everyone else had left already. She was even more surprised when an eager pair of lips assaulted hers and she was pressed up against the doorway._

_Alex took a second to let her girlfriend breath before stating seductively, "I didn't want to sleep alone tonight." She then caught her in another rough kiss before clumsily leading Olivia over to the cot. Clothes were shed quickly and the two spent little time loosing their inhibitions, their bodies pressing tightly against one another, moaning loudly, as they engaged in a round of passionate love-making, oblivious to anyone but each other._

_At one point, coming down from her climax, Olivia looked out at the doorway, having sworn she heard something. Moments later, she saw none other than her boss walk past before double taking and stopping, horror-stricken, at the sight. Alex, having felt her girlfriend stiffen, looked up from her position between Olivia's legs only to see a horrified expression on the brunette's face. Turning around, Alex met Cragen's wide eyes. She quickly scrambled to grab the blanket that had been kicked onto the floor, covering hers and Olivia's body._

_Cragen cleared his throat awkwardly. "Goodnight, ladies," he said, closing the door and quickly heading out of the precinct, leaving two furiously blushing women in his wake. They vowed from that point on never to have sex again at the NYPD... well, at least not in the crib. The next morning, he had called Olivia into his office first thing._

"He told me what I was doing could be dangerous, especially if we broke up." She smiled at Alex, squeezing her hand, as they headed into their building "I told him he didn't have to worry about that."

Once they got upstairs, they paid Maureen and Olivia walked her out to the parking garage to make sure she got to her car safe while Alex check in on Mia. When she got back upstair, she too wished Mia a quick goodnight before heading back to the bedroom to find Alex, who was busy putting her jewelry away. Olivia came up behind her and placed her hands on her hips, swaying them both back and forth. "I had a great time tonight Mrs. Cabot-Benson," she said, a smile playing upon her lips.

"Me too, Mrs. Benson-Cabot." She looked up at Olivia in the mirror. "Unzip me?" Olivia nodded, tugging at the silver fastening and guiding the garment off of Alex. She almost choked on her tongue when she saw what was underneath.

Smirking at her wife's reaction, Alex stepped out of the dress and did a little twirl. "You like?" she said saucily. Olivia gulped and nodded, unable to form a proper sentence. Alex was standing in front of her in an extremely sexy lingerie set, complete with garters.

"What's the occasion," she managed to choke out.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Our wedding anniversary..."

Olivia shook her head. "No, I mean..."

Alex smiled softly. "I know that I'm not ready for sex again yet," she said, referring to the designated wait time after giving birth. She moved over to Olivia and kissed her passionately, moving the brunette's hands to rest on her firm, lace-covered ass. "But that doesn't mean you're not," she said with a cheeky grin. Noticing Olivia's eyes widen, she continued seriously, "I want this night to be for you, Liv. You've been incredible throughout the pregnancy, with Mia. You take such good care of me. Now I want to take care of you."

"You already do," the brunette replied, resting her forehead against Alex's. "I love you, Alexandra."

"I love you too, Olivia." She kissed her tenderly before leading her back to the bed. "Now how about we replay some of what went on in the crib..."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Alex rested her head against Olivia's shoulder, lazily tracing her fingers over the detective's now bare chest, tired but certainly content from the end of their anniversary date. Olivia kissed the top of her head and then lined her neck with small butterfly kisses, then tracing her collarbone... she paused when she reached Alex's right shoulder. She slid down until she was eye-level with the scar that still remained etched on Alex's skin, a reminder she had only dared to look at once or twice before.

"It's been years, Liv."

"It'll always seem like yesterday to me." Placing the most tender, heartfelt kiss on the mark, she pulled Alex into a close embrace, holding onto the one thing that made her feel safe, the one thing she almost lost.

A/N: Review please! 40,000 word mark reached!


	18. Chapter 17: Cold

A/N: The song for this chapter is "Timshel" by Mumford and Sons

**Chapter 17: Cold**

"Come on, Mia. MOM-MY"

"No, Mia! MA-MA."

Alex glared at Olivia before turning back to the sixth month old. "I'm the one who fed you this morning, darling. MOM-MY."

"I gave you your bath last night! MA-MA."

"MOM-MY."

"MA-MA."

Mia looked up at her two competitive mothers with wide brown eyes. With a toothless grin, she gurgled, "Meh."

Alex and Olivia looked at one another questioningly. Alex furrowed her brow. "That could be either of us!"

"Nah," Olivia said with a mischievous smile, "That definitely means "Mama."

"We'll see about that," Alex said with a scowl. She turned back to the baby as asked sweetly, "Who's 'Meh,' Mia? Mommy [she pointed to herself] or mama [she waved a flippant hand towards Olivia]."

While the blonde and brunette waited impatiently for the response, Mia giggled, slapping her little palms against her high chair. Finally, she squealed again, reaching out for Olivia. "Meh-meh-meh!"

"Ha!" Olivia exclaimed, sticking out her tongue at Alex and doing a victory dance, "She meant me! I'm her first word!" With a huge grin, she scooped Mia out of the chair, bouncing her around as well. "Yay! That's right, baby girl. Mama!"

Alex frowned. "Yeah, well, the book says that it's babbling up until 12 months anyway. She's not associating 'words' with things yet."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You," she said, pecking Alex on the cheek, "are just a sore loser. Ten minutes ago, you were the one saying that Mia may be 'linguistically advanced' for her age."

Alex crossed her arms across her chest. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, 'Meh,' it smells like someone needs a diaper change. And she did asked for you, didn't she," the attorney said with a smirk before heading out of the room.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"Benson! Stabler!"

Olivia looked up attentively from her desk, the tone in Cragen's voice clearly urgent. "Yes, Cap?"

"A two-year-old was just abducted from the Central Park Zoo. Patrol's been sent out. I need you both on the scene, now!"

Olivia felt her stomach drop. Cases involving children had always been the most difficult for her to handle, but ever since Mia was born they had become much more distressing. She now understood how Elliot lost complete and utter control when it came to the perpetrators against them. Grabbing her shield and gun, she rushed after Elliot and speeded off to Central Park. With sirens at full blast, the detectives arrived minutes later. There was no doubting where to go – a cluster of police officers were crowded around the crime scene, hounds sniffing tracks around the north end of the park, searching for a trace of the toddler. Elliot and Olivia were immediately shepherded by the head officer on scene towards a distressed young woman sitting on a park bench with two men in blue. She was sobbing hysterically, a pacifier limply dangling from her left hand. It was the toddler's mother.

"Mrs. Oliver," Elliot began slowly, "I'm Detective Stabler and this is my partner, Detective Benson from the Special Victims Unit. Can you run us through what happened."

The woman hiccuped, the brisk winter wind chapping her face through her tears. "I already told the other officer. Shouldn't – shouldn't you be out looking for Kevin."

"I understand, Ms. Oliver. And there are several precincts out right now tracking down your son. But it would help if we had all of the details straight."

Ms. Oliver nodded, clearing her throat and rubbing the tears out of her eyes with the back of her hand. "I took – I took Kevin to the park over there. We come here a lot... almost every morning. It's always been safe. He was playing on the slide. I, I never take my eyes off of him! But today, a little girl tripped right in front of me and was screaming. I leaned over to help her until her nanny came by... and... and when I looked up Kevin was – he was..." She broke down into tears once more. One second. That's all it took.

Olivia tried to keep a professional demeanor while inside, her head was spinning. "Mrs. Oliver, have you noticed anything out of the ordinary lately? Anyone paying undo attention to your son?"

The woman looked at her worriedly, clearly searching through every recent memory she had. "Not that I noticed."

"Is your son enrolled in daycare?" Elliot asked.

"No, no I don't work."

"Your husband?"

"No, I'm not married. Kevin's father has never been involved. He was a fling a couple of summers ago... took off right before I even told him I was pregnant. I have a trust fund, so I've been staying home and providing for Kevin."

"The father's name?"

"Harry Bell. But like I said, I haven't seen him in almost three years!" She paused for a moment before her eyes became glassy once more. "Please detectives, you've got to find him! Kevin's my whole life!"

Olivia could do nothing more than nod.

Heading back to the crime scene, the detectives were met by Cragen, a dismal look overwhelming his features.

"The dogs picked up a scent and followed it to the dumpster. The boys clothes were inside. Not a trace after that though. Now, there are 16 sex offenders living in the local area, just outside the limits of their parole. Seven of them have been charged with crimes against children. Munch and Fin are out tracking them down. I want you two on that as well."

Two unsuccessful encounters later, Elliot and Olivia sped off to the next location on their list. The couple of men they had interviewed were creeps, but with solid alibis, uninvolved in this crime. As Elliot rounded the corner of the block they were hitting next, Olivia's phone vibrated against her hip. She glanced at the caller I.D.: _Alex_.

"Hey," she said quickly, flipping open her phone.

"Liv, the daycare called," Alex said. Olivia could sense the worry hidden in her voice.

"What's wrong? Where's Mia? Is she okay?"

"Whoa, slow down, sweetie. Mia got sick and is running a fever. I'm on my way to pick her up now." Despite being upset that her daughter was sick, knowing she was safe at the daycare allowed her to let out a small sigh of relief. "Is there any way you can get off early. I have court at six."

"Alex, a kid's missing." She could hear her wife inhale sharply at the end of the other line.

"I'll get someone to cover for me."

"I'm sor –"

"Stop. I love you."

"I love you, too. Give Mia a kiss for me." With that, she returned her phone to it's pouch and followed Elliot outside to search the streets of New York City.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Alex traced her daughter's cheek with her thumb, gently caressing the side of her face as she slept. She quietly leaned over and pressed her lips to Mia's forehead, frowning as she felt the heat radiating off of it. She had been home with Mia for a couple of hours now and her fever had yet to let up. The pediatrician had instructed her to wait it out; apparently this was a bug that was going around and should let up in about twenty-four hours. Alex didn't have to bring Mia back in unless the fever spiked or she became dehydrated. Right now, the baby's temperature as at a constant 101 and had only thrown up once since she had gotten home, but she couldn't help but worry.

She tucked Mia under a fleece blanket, wanting to prevent her ailing body from getting chilled, and headed out into the living room. Sitting down on the sofa, she flipped on the news station. Stories of the missing Kevin Oliver were streaming constantly, the entire city in desperate search of the missing two-year-old.

Alex couldn't bring herself to fully imagine the desperation of Isabella Oliver. The panic, the sickening feeling of looking up to see that your child was out of sight, completely gone. She kept looking at her cell phone, as though it would will Olivia to call her with some good news about the case – a lead, that the boy had been found. The only thing she could fathom being thankful for at present moment was the mother's ignorance towards what could be happening to her child outside of abstract fears. Having seen first-hand the heinous acts performed against children, the chilling brutality of abuse, Alex knew she would have completely shut down in the same situation.

Cringing at the very thought, she flipped of the television, tossing the remote across the coach in frustration. Two minutes later, she was back in the nursery, watching over her sleeping daughter once more.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

The neon light glared the time, 3:03 AM. The precinct was alert as ever though – Olivia and Elliot tearing through several files of information, Munch sifting through the tip line, Fin out with several other officers combing the streets, and Cragen commanding a city-wide search for the still missing Kevin Oliver.

They had each been offered some time in the crib. Each had refused.

Olivia sighed at the file in front of her, opening her eyes wider as though it would help her see information that she hadn't noticed was there. Just another dead end.

Munch yawned heavily. "Coffee?"

Elliot turned towards the pot. "Empty."

Hearing Munch sigh heavily, Olivia looked up from her paperwork. "I'll check storage." Marking her place, she walked briskly down the hall towards the closet. She didn't need the coffee. What she needed in that moment was to know her daughter was okay. Outside from a couple of text messages, she hadn't heard from Alex at all. She knew her wife didn't want to distract her from the case, but in the present moment, Olivia needed nothing more than to know that Mia was safe.

She grabbed her phone and hit the first speed dial.

"Hello," Olivia heard a very groggy Alex mutter.

"Sorry sweetheart, I forgot what time it was. Is Mia okay?"

She heard Alex rustle slightly, apparently sitting up as she sounded more awake with the next response. "She went down about an hour and a half ago but has been sleeping on and off all day. Her fever's down to 99.5."

"Good," Olivia sighed.

"Any changes?"

"No." There was silence for a moment at the other end.

"I'll let you get back. We love you."

"Love you too."

Olivia turned and headed back to the squad room. It wasn't until she got to her desk that she realized she had forgotten the coffee. It didn't matter though. Munch called everyone's attention after hanging up on the most recent tip. "An old neighbor of Bells said she saw him this evening at the convenience store she works nightshift at. He had a little boy with him. Says the kid had brown hair, not red, but once she saw the news story, she realized it might have been Kevin.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

Alex, having been experiencing a restless night with everything going on, startled immediately when she felt the bed shift with the addition of weight. Blinking open her tired eyes, she saw Olivia sitting by her side with a soft smile. "'Livia, did you guys – "

Olivia nodded happily and let out a relieved sigh. "We found him. It was the father."

"I thought he wasn't in the picture..." the attorney responded in confusion, grabbing her glasses from the bedside table.

"Neither did Isabelle Oliver, who told us he had moved to Florida. Belle's sister alibied him. Turns out the guys has serious mental issues. He was deluded into thinking that he and Isabelle were still in love, but was too afraid to confront her in person. So he stalked her. For three years. He had scrap books of her pregnancy, pictures taken from tops of apartment buildings, moving taxis. That's what he was doing in the park... taking pictures. But then Kevin was close enough, and Isabelle far enough away... he decided to take him 'home.' Dyed his hair and changed his clothes. We found them sitting in Belle's apartment, Kevin screaming while he tried to get him to watch a movie. Guy's psychotic, but he didn't want to hurt the boy."

"Thank God!"

"He's at Belleview now. Huang's recommendation."

Alex shook her head and groaned. "I'm going to have to hear his explanation for that one. As far as I'm concerned, I want Belle behind bars."

"Well, at least for now he's under careful observation and Kevin's back at home with Isabelle."

"Good point. That's what really matters." At this point, Alex took a moment to take in her wife's appearance. Olivia's hair was matted, her clothes wrinkled from over a day's wear. Her skin was red from the cold. Her eyes were bloodshot and highlighted by dark, purple shadows. "Olivia, you need to get to sleep, hon."

Olivia yawned tiredly. "I know. I think I'm just going to go check in on Mia for a while first." Alex sighed but nodded, understanding her wife's need to be close to their daughter in that moment.

She leaned over and kissed Olivia gently before the brunette headed out of the room. "Hey Liv..."

"Yeah?" the detective asked, turning in the doorframe.

Alex smiled softly. "The whole time you were gone, Mia kept asking for her 'Meh."


	19. Chapter 18: Forever Young

A/N: Thank you for all of the kind reviews! The song for this chapter is "Summer Hair = Forever Young" by The Academy Is... Just a warning – this chapter has some more mature content towards the end (nothing all too bad – still T).

**Chapter 18: Forever Young**

"Diaper bag and cooler?"

"Check."

"Towels?"

"Check."

"Sunscreen?"

"Check."

"The right type?"

Olivia reached into her bag and pulled out the bottle, grade 100+. "Yep, SPF Vampire," she said with a smirk.

"Hey, I don't want to burn," Alex said with a pout. "Plus Mia has my skin tone. We can't just go sunbathing like you olive-skinned folks can."

Olivia stepped over and placed a kiss on the bit pale collarbone peaking out from Alex's cover-up. "I don't want you to burn either. Or this little one," she added placing a kiss on the top of Mia's head. "But, let's just hope for the sake of our summer budget, our next kid isn't like Casper...or I'm buying stock in Coppertone."

Alex glared at her but then softened. She liked how Olivia kept throwing out small references to their next child. Even though they had yet to make any official plans, it made a new addition to their family seem like much more of a reality. And she was excited. "Yeah yeah, smart ass. Come on, we're going to be late to meet Kathy and El."

Olivia froze though, a dramatic look of shock on her face. "Hey, don't use such offensive language," she said teasingly, "Mia is _highly_ impressionable at this age." Alex rolled her eyes at the comment, which was a reference to the attorney's own comment the prior evening, when Olivia had yelped out a slew of expletives after stubbing her toe.

"You're ridiculous," the blonde replied to Olivia's crooked grin. "Now can we please go?" she asked with an air of frustration, picking up Mia's carrier.

"Okay, okay, Miss Punctuality. You do realize that the Stablers are notoriously late. So it's really unnecessary for us to get there fifteen minutes early."

"It's necessary to me!" Alex snapped, blue eyes wide.

Olivia furrowed her brow at Alex's outburst. "Okay, fine, Alex. Let's go then." Grabbing their things, the family headed out to the car without another word.

The silence didn't last long, however. Almost immediately after they had placed her in the car, Mia began fussing and eventually erupted into a fit. Alex let out a sigh, massaging her temples with the pads of her fingers. "Can you pull over?"

"Sweetie, we'll be there in less than a minute. She's just being fussy."

"Liv, pull over!"

"Alex, I'm pulling into the parking lot _now_. Just take a chill pill, okay?" A look of rage filled Alex's face and she opened her mouth to speak. Luckily, Mia let out a particularly loud wail. Olivia quickly parked and hopped out of the car, opening the door to the backseat. She scooped up the whimpering baby and rocked her back and forth, slowly soothing her cries. Meanwhile, Alex gathered all of their things, slamming the trunk of the car in a huff. The loud noise caught Olivia's attention. "So, are you going to stay like this all day?" she clipped, raising an eyebrow.

Alex shrugged. "Maybe it's warranted."

"_Alex_" Olivia drawled with a sigh. Fiery blue eyes met brown.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," she groaned, letting out a heavy breath. "I just... woke up in a funk. I have a horrible headache and I'm PMS-ing. This case is wearing on me. And Mia's been so moody lately too..." she explained, running her fingers through her hair, a clear sign that she was stressed.

Olivia softened her glare. "Alex, baby, I get it," she said, reaching out with her free hand to hold that of the blonde. "But next time just tell me that. Don't go on like I shot the pope or something, okay?" she added with firm humor. It wasn't as though the couple never fought. In fact, their bickering was well known at the precinct, as they frequently disagreed about logistics as to their cases. But Olivia especially couldn't stand arguing in the household – outside of playful bickering. It reminded her too much of her past...

Alex allowed a small laugh, "I know, and I'm sorry. I love you," she said genuinely, squeezing her wife's hand.

"I love you too." She gave Alex a peck on the lips, deciding to end the discussion here. When Alex was in a foul mood, it was generally something that lasted, so she was glad that the blonde seemed to be relaxing ever so slightly. Wrapping her arm around Alex's waist, she added with a smile, "Now let's get you something for your head and go inside before we're actually late."

Two Excedrin and ten minutes later, the Stabler clan burst into the community pool's gates and, after some brief searching, located Alex and Olivia, who had just settled Mia down once more and were in the process of laying out some towels on a nearby patch of grass. Dickie and Lizzie shouted a quick 'hello' whilst throwing down their things before making a made dash for the diving boards. Kathy sighed, placing Eli on a large blanket before reaching down to fix the twins' things.

"Hey guys," she said with a tired smile, "I'm going to go track those scoundrels with some sunscreen. El, can you take care of Eli please?"

The detective nodded and also said 'hello' to Alex and Olivia. He elbowed Kathleen to do the same, who complied and then headed off to tan in the sun. Elliot took a seat next to Olivia, scooping Eli onto his lap and covering the toddler with sunscreen. Olivia picked up Mia and did the same to her. She was careful to cover every inch of delicate baby skin, not wanting Mia to burn – nor wanting to face Alex's wrath should this occur. The baby shivered from the sensation of the lotion hitting her skin before breaking out into giggles. Olivia chuckled. "You like that, angel," she said, tickling Mia's bathing suit-covered tummy, eliciting more laughs.

Alex grabbed a yellow gingham hat out of the diaper bag and placed it on top of her daughter's head. "Hey Liv, can you do me too, please?"

Olivia nodded, placing Mia down on the blanket next to Eli. The little blonde crawled around happily, playing with the toddler's shoe, causing the latter to grumble. Olivia removed his leg from Mia's grasp and set out a ball in front of her instead, which she was immediately fixated on, banging on the large red toy with her chubby hands. Eli stared at the baby for a moment, eyes full of curiosity, before mimicking her, slapping his fists against the ball as well. Olivia chuckled at the sight and nudged Elliot with her elbow. "Looks like they're going to be pals," she said, her partner smiling in agreement. The brunette then turned back to Alex, heading over towards their things. "Lay on your stomach, babe." Alex took off her sundress and obliged, resting against the towel-covered ground. Olivia struggled to keep her arousal at bay as she admired the sight in front of her – Alex stretched out in a modest but sexy bikini, it's berry pink coloring contrasting the fairness of her skin, her golden hair splayed out messily. She kneeled down so that she was hovering over her wife, trying to maintain a platonic facade despite the fact that she was practically straddling her ass. This became much more difficult once the sunscreen actually hit Alex's skin. She shuddered like Mia, but then moaned contently as she felt Olivia's fingers kneed into her tense muscles. "Just relax, baby," Olivia whispered, though this was perhaps a command she was meant to follow for other reasons, feeling the bottoms of her own bathing suit become wet as she ran her hands under the strap of Alex's top, rubbing near the soft swells of her breast. She was broken out of the trance by the feeling that eyes were on her, and turned to meet Elliot's cloudy gaze. He was practically choking on his own drool. "Pervert," Olivia clipped with an eye roll, moving off of the blonde.

Elliot shrugged his shoulders and gave a smug smile. "You're the one giving a show. Can't blame me for watching."

Olivia gaped and smacked him hard on the bicep. She began to blush though, reminiscing on how the previous moment was becoming borderline inappropriate. She looked over at Alex, who was smiling slightly.

"Typical man, Stabler," she contended. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, she continued, "We'll try to calm it down though, for your sake. You're supposed to be watching the kids." She moved to sit between Olivia's legs, smiling as she felt the brunette run her fingers through her hair to pull it up into a ponytail. Olivia knew how much she hated it getting matted by the chlorine.

"Oh please, don't do me any favors," Elliot responded slyly, lifting Mia and Elliot onto his lap.

"El!" Olivia squealed, glaring at her partner.

"Is my husband behaving?" Kathy asked, heading back over to the group with a couple of cans of soda.

"No" Olivia said with a roll of her eyes. She lifted herself to her feet and helped Alex up as well before reaching out for Mia. "We're going to go for a swim before El gets anymore bright ideas," she said with a smirk, swatting the back of her partner's head. She grabbed Alex's hand and lead her to the pool, balancing Mia on her hip. When they got to the edge of the water, the blonde stopped for a moment and looked at the water hesitantly.

"I'm going to check and see how tolerable the water is," she explained, moving to the edge of the pool. She lifted her foot and slowly began to lower it towards the water. Olivia couldn't resist. She sneaked over behind Alex and gently pushed her. As she was balancing on one foot, the blonde fell into the pool, letting out a yelp as she hit the water.

"Olivia Louise Benson!" The brunette broke out in laughter at the sight. Alex was treading water with a furious but shocked look on her face, completely soaked, mascara running under her eyes. "It's not funny," Alex whined, looking so pitiful that Olivia couldn't help but laugh even more. Even Mia began to giggle. In the midst of her fit, Olivia was able to gesture to Alex to move over to the shallow end. She calmed down and headed over to the stairs with Mia, where she was met by her wife, hands on hips, pouting.

"I'm sorry, baby," Olivia said with a chuckle, wiping the make up out from under Alex's eyes with the pad of her thumb. "I love you," she added, batting her eyes innocently.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Alex said curtly, but with a small smile. She pecked Olivia on the lips. "Well, are you going to get in or what? It's actually not too cold."

Olivia turned to Mia. "Ready for your first swim, angel?" she said excitedly. She began to wade into the pool, slowing down when the water got closer to Mia to allow the baby to acclimate. When her toes hit the water, Mia's brown eyes widened in surprise. When she was up to her tummy, she froze and began to whimpered. "It's okay, love. It's just like a big bath."

"Can I?" Alex asked, extending her arms. Olivia handed over the baby and the attorney balanced her above the water's surface. "Mia-girl, sweetie, come on and play. It's okay. Mommy has you. Look!" she patted her hand against the water, causing it to ripple. She then scooped some water into her palm as sprinkled it over Mia's tummy. "Ooh, isn't that cool?" Mia made a funny look but then giggled. She reached out for the water and Alex lowered her down. The baby began splashing her palms, laughing happily.

Olivia smiled widely. "Good job, angel! Look at you!" Alex bobbed the baby up and down and began wading around the pool with her wife. A few minutes later, Elliot joined them with Eli and the group spent some enjoyable time in the warm August sun. Around noon, Alex took Mia back to the blankets to feed her while Olivia grabbed their own lunches from the cooler. She sat down next to Alex and popped open the Tupperware container. As her wife's hands were occupied in holding Mia, who was nursing under a light blanket, Olivia stabbed some of the salad with a fork and held it up to Alex's lips. "Here, gorgeous."

Alex smiled and took a bite. "Thanks!"

"How's our little fish doing over there." It had been a struggle trying to get Mia out of the water. Despite her initial hesitance, she had taken a clear liking to it.

"Very hungry. Actually..." she peaked underneath the blanket, "tired too. She's starting to doze off."

"If you guys want to leave her here for a bit, I'll watch her," Kathy said, peaking up from her book. "El's got the kids under control."

Olivia looked to Alex. "How about it? You up for some adult swim?"

"Sure! Thanks, Kath!" She fixed her top and lifted the blanket off of Mia, careful not to disturb the now sleeping child. After Mia was back in her carrier, Alex and Olivia headed off for the pool. Before they reached it, however, Alex felt the detective pulling her aside. "Liv?" Olivia simply gestured to the nearby changing room. Alex gave her a confused look but followed along.

Once inside, Olivia did a quick survey of the area and found that they were alone. Before Alex could protest, she kissed her firmly on the mouth and guided her into a changing stall, closing the curtain behind them. Alex initially melted into the strength of Olivia's embrace but in a moment of rationality stopped. "Whoa, Liv, what are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Olivia asked cheekily, tugging slowly at the strings of Alex's bikini top. [A/N: slightly more graphic from this point on – discretion advised]

"I think you are taking me as an exhibitionist," she responded, running her hands down from Olivia's shoulders before gently pushing her away.

Olivia moved back towards her. "No, I think you're someone who has been stressed all day and needs some – _relief_." She sucked Alex's collarbone, eliciting an deep moan from her counterpart.

"Liv," Alex whined futilely, "Not... now – not here... we're in public."

"And that's stopped us before?" Olivia asked with a smirk.

"But that's been in my office, behind a locked closed door. We were alone, not where someone can just walk right in!"

"I'm sure Cragen would disagree."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Where I _thought_ we were alone."

"We just have to be quiet," Olivia whispered, her hot breath tickling Alex's ear as the detective slid her fingers to cup Alex over her bathing suit.

Alex hissed in a breathe of air. She was a goner. "My mother would kill me!" she exclaimed quietly in a final effort of protest.

Olivia pulled back for a second and looked at her curiously. She then smirked. "Baby, you're thirty-three years old. Now's the time as ever to rebel against your prim and proper upbringing." She leaned back in to kiss the blonde and smiled to herself as she felt the her relax completely into her touch.

About five minutes later, just as things were getting particularly hot and heavy, the couple heard the door of the changing room squeak open and slam shut, followed by the padding of flip flops. They froze for a moment before hearing two voices.

"So then I says to him," one woman with a thick Brooklyn accent began, "You stop looking at that tramp or your clothes 'll be out on the sidewalk." Her companion responded with some sort of agreement. They must have headed towards the showers, because soon the sound of water was heard. Alex felt like a teenager caught making out in the back of the movie theatre. Knowing they were no longer alone, she assumed Olivia would stop and was shocked when the brunette simply continued her prior actions.

"Olivia!" Alex practically shrieked at the sensation, before lowering her voice to a hush. "We've got to stop."

Olivia tore herself away from her task for a brief moment only to whispered huskily. "Just stay quiet." Easier said than done. Alex dug her teeth into the tawny skin of Olivia's shoulder to burry a loud moan as Olivia continued making love to her. She was able to hang on until she was certain that the two woman had left and that they were alone again. At that point, she let out a cry of pleasure as she climaxed, collapsing against Olivia who held her trembling body up from falling down on what couldn't have been the most sanitary floor.

"Baby, I said quiet. They must have heard us!" Olivia exclaimed nervously, clearly having been oblivious to her surroundings, focused only on Alex.

"They—re ggone," Alex slurred, resting her head against her chest. Once Alex had regained her capacities, Olivia suggested they shower before heading back outside, to both clean off and actually look like they had gone for a swim.

"After all, we need to look wet... and not like _that_," Olivia said with a cheeky wink, giving her wife a kiss before leaving a still stunned Alex to head for the shower stall.


	20. Chapter 19: Somedays

A/N: The song for this chapter is "Somedays" by Regina Spektor – one of my favorite songs by her. Please note there is a trigger warning towards the end of the chapter, so please continue with discretion if necessary. This chapter has also turned out to be SUPER long. Like, 2000+ words more than my longest chapter before this. So, hopefully this makes up for not updating for the past few days and will result in some more review :) I've really appreciated all the support you guys have given this story thus far; it's helped me make it to the 50,000 word mark!

**Chapter 19: Somedays**

"Umm... no, I think that would actually be better over there..." Alex instructed, gazing around and pointing to a location across the room. Elliot groaned heavily, and Olivia appeared just as discontent, looking down once more at the small but solid table in front of her.

"Come on, Alex! This is our third time moving this thing," Elliot gripped.

"Yeah, babe. It's a birthday party, not the presidential gala. No one's going to analyze the gift table's location.

"I just want everything to be perfect," the blonde responded with a pout, hands poised on her hips. Olivia sighed. The hall that they had rented for Mia's first birthday party couldn't have looked more impeccable. Elliot and Olivia had already shuffled around so much furniture that their aging backs were screaming, and Alex had already driven half of the staff crazy with suggestions as to table settings and decoration placement. Olivia walked over to her wife, who was now fiddling with a bunch of balloons, examining the ends of the ribbons with a frown. "I wish they would have curled these..."

"Sweetheart, they look great. Everything does!" She cupped Alex's face in her palms, gently pulling the blonde's attention to her. "Just relax, Alex. In all honesty, Mia's not going to remember whether or not her cake was cut into perfectly symmetric pieces. She's one years old."

"I know, I know. But my family _will_ care." Alex exhaled heavily, wrapping her arms around Olivia's waist and relaxing into the detective. Olivia used the moment to gesture quickly for Elliot to make a run for it. Her partner shot her an appreciative thumbs up, mouthing that he would see her later, before making a beeline for the exit. The brunette ran her hands soothingly against Alex's lower back. "I can't believe my baby's already a year old."

Olivia nodded. "It's gone by fast," she said with a soft (and slightly sad) smile. And it had. It seemed like just yesterday that she had held her daughter for the first time. Actually, it seemed like yesterday that Alex had told Olivia that she was pregnant with Mia. On the same token, the detective could hardly believe how much her life had changed since she first heard her daughter's heartbeat, saw the blurry ultrasound image that signified the start of the Cabot-Benson family. Olivia could in no way have foretold what parenthood was actually like – how incredible of a bond it was between mother and child. In some ways, it saddened her that she had never felt this connection in her own upbringing; it was a harsh proof that made Olivia question whether or not her mother truly and undeniably loved her. Did her mother's assault blanket her in so much hatred that Olivia became a burden as opposed to a child? The detective was afraid to know the true answer. If anything, though, the pain of this uncertainty only made her more determined to give every ounce of herself to Mia and Alex.

"I just want her to stay this small forever," Alex continued wistfully.

Olivia pressed her lips against the blonde's forehead. "I know. But it's only going to keep getting better and better." She paused for a moment and added with a whisper, "And who knows. We may have another tiny baby very soon." With a happy grin, she slid her hands forward from Alex's back to rest on her wife's stomach. The couple had decided about a month ago to start trying for another baby, both wanting to have their children close in age. This time, however, they ultimately decided to use Olivia's egg with the same donor sample.

"_But then the baby will almost definitely look like me," Olivia had said with some hesitance, considering that they had chosen the donor himself with the brunette's physicality in mind._

"_What's the problem with that," Alex had said with a smile, "A little Olivia."_

They had started IVF earlier that week, knowing that the process itself could take some time; they wouldn't necessarily be successful the first time around as the fertilized eggs had to implant properly. But, then again, there was always a chance that Alex was pregnant in that moment, and that prospect made Olivia almost giddy whenever she considered it.

Alex was equally enthused judging by the wide smile on her face. "Maybe," she beamed before kissing Olivia tenderly, placing her hands on top of the detectives. A couple of minutes later, Olivia broke the embrace.

"Well, as much as I'd love to stay like this, we should probably head home to get ready. Got to look presentable for the honorable Cabot family," she said with a smirk. Alex's entire extended family had been invited to Mia's birthday party. While most of them had yet to even meet the baby – or Olivia for that matter – the fact that Mia had not had a christening was a huge "faux pas" and automatically meant that every one of Alex's relative had to attend this gathering, however distasteful they may be. Olivia was dreading it. With the exception of perhaps four members of the Cabot family, Olivia was either nonexistent or scorned for being the devilish woman who led poor, innocent Alex astray, threatening to tarnish the notable Cabot name. At least several of the couple's friends would be coming as well; Olivia hoped in particular that her fellow detectives would help soften the blow. Hopefully.

A big hopefully.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

"John, Fin?"

"Nursery!"

Olivia shook her head with a chuckle. "Never thought I'd be hearing that from those two. Together at least."

Alex smiled as they headed down the hall. "Remind me why we trusted them with Mia?"

Before Olivia could answer, Munch interjected. "Hey," he said as they entered the room, "For your information, Ms. Cabot, Fin and I cared for your spawn with the utmost diligence.

"Yeah, even with all of your nutty instructions, Counselor," Fin said from where he sat in the rocking chair with Mia on his lap, book in hand. "And quit using the word spawn, Munch. It's creepy."

Olivia shook her head at their antics. "Well, thank you guys for watching her. I hope she was good for you." She moved over by the rocking chair and held out her arms for the baby, who had become squirmy when her mothers had entered the room.

Fin passed Mia to her, the latter instantly smiling once she was in Olivia's arms. "Any time. She was an angel," Fin said, pinching the baby's cheek to elicit a giggle," 'cept when Munch came anywhere near her. Though that makes me like her even more. She's got a good judge of character."

"Hey!" the older man protested, "Mia likes me. She just has a firm sense of personal space."

"Oh yeah, just like all babies," Fin rolled his eyes, gesturing to the fact that the girl was now snuggled tightly against Olivia.

"Yeah, well, sometimes it takes people a bit of time to warm up to me."

Fin nodded brusquely in agreement. "Ten years and I still haven't," he deadpanned, earning the chuckles of Olivia and Alex. He ruffled Mia's hair before heading towards the door with a rather irritated Munch in tow.

"We'll see you later guys?"

"Yep, just got to get all prettied up for this fancy party," Fin said with a smirk.

Olivia nodded with a sigh, her face revealing that she was very much in agreement with Fin's mockery. Alex shot her a glare, to which she immediately gave an innocent shrug. "Thanks again, you two. We'll see you in a bit," the blonde told the men appreciatively. They returned an 'anytime' before heading on their way. When she heard the front door click shut, Alex turned to Olivia. First she greeted Mia with a large smile, "Hello sweetheart, Mommy missed you!" She leaned over and gave the baby a kiss.

"Mmem," Mia drawled happily. The one-year-old still had some issues with pronouncing the word 'mommy,' but Alex and Olivia had eventually realized that this 'word' was her equivalent.

Alex grinned and gave the baby another kiss before looking up at Olivia, her face now serious. "You know, if you have an issue with this party, you could tell me up front. You don't have to make wise cracks to Elliot, Munch, and Fin.

Olivia was sure her face looked guilty. Running her free hand through her hair, she began "It's not a 'problem,' per-say..." Alex raised an eyebrow and the brunette sighed heavily, "I'm just nervous."

"It'll be okay. There's nothing to be nervous about," Alex lied through her teeth. Olivia saw right through the facade to her wife's own nervousness about the afternoon.

"Alex, your family _hates_ me."

"That's not true..."

"It is! They either pretend that I don't exist or look in pity to the ground I walk on. Most of them didn't even show up to our wedding..."

"I didn't want them there," Alex said with a sense of honesty – but some pain. It was true; she didn't want most of her family at her wedding, because she knew they didn't approve and weren't happy for her. She just wished she had family would loved and accepted her for who she was – not who they wanted her to portray. "God Liv, I'm so sorry. I don't want to drag you into this mess. You don't deserve it."

Olivia sighed sadly, recognizing the anguish in Alex's cool blue eyes that the blonde was attempting to hide. "Come here." Alex closed the gap between them and rested in Olivia's strong arms. "It'll be okay." The remained like that for a few moments, tucked against one another, until Mia began to squirm. Olivia laughed, "Okay, okay, angel. Well, at least one of us is excited for her party. We should probably get ready, babe." Alex nodded and gave Olivia a soft kiss before moving over to Mia's closet. She pulled open the door and grabbed the dress bag containing the $450 Burberry outfit they had purchased for the occasion: a little pink dress with bloomers and a cashmere ribbed sweater. Olivia had argued that it was utterly ridiculous to dress a child – let alone a baby – in something that expensive, stating that there were equally as nice clothes at Target that wouldn't cause the brunette a conniption when Mia outgrew and/or spit up on them. While the attorney agreed, she had explained to Olivia the harsh judgement that would result if Mia was not dressed in something with a designer label. As if they needed more of that. Plus, the outfit, was hugely 'on sale' – an absurdity that had almost resulted in the detective's laughing out loud in front of the boutique's employee.

"How about you go take a shower and I'll get Mia ready?" Alex offered. While they both had gotten washed up that morning, moving things around at the restaurant had caused Olivia to work up a sweat.

"Sounds good," Olivia said as she handed the baby over to Alex and gave her a peck on the lips.

When she was sure that Olivia was out of earshot, Alex said to Mia, "Okay little girl, let's get you into these clothes. Now, I know they're probably not the comfiest of things and you'd rather be crawling around in a onesie, but we've got to put these on, okay." She brought the baby over to the changing table and put her in a fresh diaper before slipping on the dress. Mia fussed a bit. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know this is no fun." And she did know. She was a Cabot, and while this conjured an image of prim and properness to the average person when they heard the name, no one really knew the exact reality of growing up in "high society." Alex didn't really have a childhood. What she remembers of it is cold – attendance at long galas in stark dresses and with perfect etiquette, lessons to ensure she was cultured in language, the arts, and recreation, the expectations of living up to her family name, constantly feeling as though she was in the spotlight without anyone truly looking at her. She didn't grow up with the attention of mom and dad, but instead of a constant flow of nannies and other caretakers. While she knew her parents loved her, it wasn't until she met Olivia that she experienced affection – had someone care for _her_.

Rarely did Alex broach the topic of her upbringing to the detective, beyond the necessary and the superficial. While she had no doubt experienced several difficulties, she in no way found them comparable to what Olivia went through and felt guilty at even the thought of complaining. After all, on the surface, she had it all: two parents, a steady home (and a large one at that), a private school education, and whatever material good her heart had desired. The imperfections that came along with that – how could she ever explain those...

All she knew was she didn't want Mia to have to. In that moment, putting the baby in a fancy dress and taking her to an expensive, formal party for the purpose of being shown off went against every maternal instinct she had. She hated the fact that she was too much of a coward to completely break away from her family's expectations.

With Mia now fully clothed, she took a brush and fixed the growing wisps of her light blond hair into a small ponytail, around which she tied a thin lace ribbon into a bow. "You look beautiful, princess," she said, giving her daughter a soft but cracking smile. "You always do though. I promise this will go quickly. You know, I'll even bring some toys and books for you... some of my aunts and uncles may have a problem with it, but who cares," she said with a scoff as she began to load the aforementioned items into Mia's diaper bag.

Alex was so absorbed in her task – and more so her thoughts – that she didn't notice Olivia standing in the doorway. "I'm going to pack you a change of clothes as well," the blonde explained to Mia, who was sitting next to her on the floor playing with her own feet. "Just in case you get really uncomfortable. Once, when I was six, I thought that if I ruined the dress I was supposed to wear to our Christmas party, I would be able to wear something else instead. So I ripped it and told my mom that it had gotten caught in the doorframe..." Olivia had never heard this story – in fact, she rarely heard any story about Alex before she reached college-age – so the detective listened in rapt attention, completely quiet. Alex forced a sad chuckle. "It didn't work though. My mother's tailor was called and I was forced to stand for an hour without moving while she made the adjustments necessary. Quite a task for a six year old..." the attorney trailed off.

Olivia waited a few moments before softly clearing her throat. Alex's head shot around quickly, and the brunette had to hide the surprise and sadness on her own face when she saw that her wife's blue eyes were brimming with tears. "Alex –"

The attorney wiped her eye quickly with the back of her hand. "You about ready? I have to go change..." She made a beeline for the door, but as Olivia was standing there, was easily intercepted.

"Baby, talk to me," Olivia said softly, looking Alex dead in the eyes, only to see them stormy with untold emotion.

"I can't – I mean, we're going to be late, Liv. Later. I promise," she said, trying to evade the detective's firm embrace.

Olivia gave her one more concerned look. "Okay."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

When Alex, Olivia, and Mia got to the hall, several guests were already there. "Shit," Alex muttered quietly to Olivia, "we're so late."

Olivia squeezed the blonde's hand comfortingly. "It's okay, babe," she whispered back. "It's only by ten minutes. We have a one-year-old. They'll understand." Alex raised an eyebrow and the statement and Olivia shrugged. Yeah, she didn't believe herself either.

The young family was greeted almost immediately by Alex's cousin, Carole, infamous busybody. "Alexandra," the middle-aged woman drawled, giving the blonde three air kisses, "We were worried about you darling. What on earth happened?"

"Sorry, Carole! Mia needed a diaper change and was a bit fussy so we got held up," Alex explained apologetically.

"Oh dear! And your nanny was unable to control her?"

"We don't have a nanny," Olivia commented.

"What? No nanny!" Carole exclaimed completely horrified. The couple shook their heads. "What on earth do you do for childcare. Especially with Alexandra _still_ working."

"Well, Alex has been able to get home a bit earlier now, but when we're both at work, Mia goes to daycare."

"Daycare?" The woman looked as though she was going to faint. Alex was quiet so Olivia continued.

"Yeah, there's a daycare on the same block as our building."

"In _that_ neighborhood. Aren't you concerned about her exposure to other children."

"We want her to make friends."

Carole sighed heavily. As though she was explaining a complex art form to two neophytes, she began, "A nanny will take Mia to playgroups, so she can be properly socialized. Some will also clean the home, so it's almost a two for one deal. Not _cheap_ though. I'll give you a few names. We went through several wonderful nannies with Pierre."

Olivia went to protest, but Alex stopped her, knowing it was not worth it to argue. "Thank you, Carole. Now if you'll excuse me, we're going to take Mia to greet some of the other guests."

"Of course, darling. She's lovely by the way," Carole said, gesturing to the baby. Alex smiled and thanked her before heading off towards her aunt and uncle. Just as Olivia was about to follow, Carole caught her shoulder.

"Who is that?" she asked, slightly appalled. Olivia followed her gaze and sighed. _Shit_. "Umm, that's my partner, Elliot and his children." At present, quite wild children who were pestering Elliot about something relentlessly, looking very uncomfortable in formal clothing.

"Partner! But Alexandra..."

"Elliot's my partner at the NYPD. Remember, I'm a detective."

"Oh, right. It's just, you never can know what one is _into_ these days. Not good for children..." she said, giving Olivia a sharp glare. The brunette could hardly keep her jaw from dropping at the insinuation that she and Alex were in some type of polyamorous relationship. Is that honestly what people equated every gay relationship with? Why couldn't they accept that what she and Alex shared was a loving, monogamous relationship – with a daughter they would both do anything for. Olivia couldn't fathom a response that wouldn't involve several expletives, so she settled for the awkward silence that ensured. A few moments later, she excused herself and went to go greet Elliot and Kathy.

"Help, save me!" Olivia said dramatically once she reached her partner.

"That bad?"

"I've spoken to _one_ of Alex's cousins and I already want to drive my head into a wall."

"Where is Alex, speaking of which?"

Olivia scanned the room. "Uh, over there by her grandfather. I should probably go say hello..."

Elliot nodded. "Yeah, go get you're obligatory greetings done so we can try to have some fun at this thing, okay?"

"Haha, _fun _and Cabot family does not mix, my friend. I'll see you later. Oh, and if the kids are pestering you for food, take them down to the kitchen. I asked the chef to spot them some chicken fingers."

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

_Happy Birthday, dear Amelia._

_Happy birthday to you_, the group sang out as Olivia held Mia in front of the cake. Upon the songs completion, Alex blew out the candles. The couple looked at each other happily, then down at their daughter, who was excitedly reaching towards the cake. When a slice of cake was handed to Olivia, she dipped her finger into the icing and held it out to Mia. When the baby tasted it, her eyes widened and she began babbling for more, causing the entire group to laugh. Olivia turned to Alex; "Looks like someone has a sweet tooth," she said with a chuckle.

"Wonder where she got that from," Alex teased as Olivia ate a piece of the cake herself. She gestured over to their table and took a seat, enjoying a private moment with their daughter while everyone else waited for their own desserts. Even though this was Mia's party, Olivia felt as though she had seen the baby, and Alex for that matter, even less that usual, and she was taking delight now in watching Mia enjoy the rest of her cake. The baby was sitting on her lap, hands diving into the vanilla dessert, pink frosting covering her face. It was as though Mia was having more fun playing with the cake than actually eating it.

Alex couldn't stop laughing at the sight and Olivia was glad to see the blonde loosening up for the first time to day, the fact that her wife had been crying this morning not escaping her concern. "Oh dear," the attorney cooed, "Are you enjoying that, princess?" We should probably go clean you off." When Olivia started to get up, Alex stopped her. "I've got it, babe. You go hang out with the guys for a little while. Have some fun." She gestured over to the table where the Stablers were sitting with Cragen, Donnelly, Munch, and Fin.

"Okay!" Olivia said cheerily, before giving Alex a sweet kiss. She chuckled, "You taste like strawberries."

"The cake is strawberries and cream. You're favorite." Alex said with a smile. Olivia kissed her once more, savoring the taste of sugar and Alex before the blonde headed towards the restroom with Mia. Olivia was about to head towards the NYPD table when she heard someone loudly clear their throat behind her. Turning around, she was met with the condescending eyes of Alex's great-aunt, Victoria Cabot.

"Public displays of affections are inappropriate in this context, Ms. Benson. I would think you'd have gotten used to this by now."

Olivia bit her tongue. Despite the fact that she was nearing ninety, Alex's Aunt Victoria was quite possibly the meanest, brass individual she had ever mentioned. When it came to insulting Olivia, she spared no words, even if it was rude or in a public setting – and, given the fact that she was Olivia's greatest critic, these moments were quite frequent. The detective, who had been surprised she had showed in the first place, had been trying to avoid her all day and had been successful – to this point.

"I apologize, Ms. Cabot. I didn't notice you."

Victoria scoffed. "Well, it's to be expected. And of course I'm here. _I'm_ a part of Alexandra and Amelia's family."

"Yes, of course. I meant that I hadn't noticed that you were behind me." Olivia forced herself to remain cordial. For Alex and Mia. "How have you been, Ms. Cabot?

"Well enough. Spending most of my time up at the Vineyard." Alex's extended family owned a couple of vacation properties, a 'quaint' cottage at Martha's Vineyard being one of them.

"That's nice. I've heard the weather's been wonderful lately. Not too cold."

"Yes, it's been quite temperate. I was planning on extending an invitation for Amelia to come up for a visit, given that Alexandra is able to take some time from work." Olivia stopped herself from furrowing her brow. This was unexpected.

"Oh, wow, that'd be wonderful. I'm sure Mia would love it and Alex and I could use some time off from..."

"I believe you've misunderstood, Ms. Benson," Victoria interrupted.

"I'm sorry. What?"

"The invitation is meant for Alexandra and Amelia."

"Are you – "

"While it's nice that you're a good friend to Alexandra and _her_ daughter, this is family time."

"Ms. Cabot, in due all respect..."

Olivia couldn't get a word in edgewise and Victoria's next words left the brunette feeling as though she had been sucker punched. "Regardless of your personal lifestyle, Ms. Benson, you should know that I, as well as the vast majority of my family, do not approve of your involvement with Alexandra – platonically or _especially_ romantically. Nor do I find you to be a suitable influence for Amelia whatsoever..."

Before Victoria was able to continue her tirade, Alex's words rung across the room. "Get out!" Several heads, including Olivia's, shot in her direction. Alex looked completely incensed, her blue eyes piercing Victoria's glare.

"Alexandra..."

"Aunt Victoria, I asked you to leave." she paused for a moment, clearly recognizing that all eyes were now on her, but then continued resolutely. "If you cannot respect my _wife_ and _my_ family, then I do not want you here around them. _Especially_ around Mia."

Victoria looked as though she was about to have a heart attack from the confrontation. She tried to mask her unease and stuttered, "How dare..."

"That goes for everyone else as well. If anyone has an issue with Olivia or our relationship, I am asking you to leave. Now." You could hear a pin drop in the room. All eyes were on Alex, Olivia, and Victoria. The detective struggled to keep herself composed, standing awkwardly exposed in the middle of the hall, and deciding to focus instead on her daughter, who was perplexed by the sudden change in atmosphere, clutching the teddy bear Cragen had given her in her chubby palm. Without another word, Victoria walked over to her chair and picked up her belongings. Her heels clicked furiously across the ground as she headed to the door, glaring at Olivia and Alex as she passed them. When she reached the exit, she turned back and spat one more ringer:

"Alexandra Cabot, what would your mother say?"

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

They drove home in silence. Mia was fast asleep in the back, surrounded by the copious amounts of presents she had received. Olivia was still in shock, and had no issues forking over the car keys to Alex when she had requested it. Though the detective had stolen a few glances at Alex, the attorney's face was frustratingly unreadable, even to her. When they arrived home, the silence did not cease, and Olivia carried the gifts inside while Alex settled Mia into bed and washed up. Olivia had come to accept the fact that Alex needed the night to herself as she settled into bed next to the still-mute blonde. Just as she was about to flick of the light, however, she heard Alex's whisper.

"They hated me."

Concerned, she looked back at the blonde, whose eyes were fixed on the comforter, and cautiously held her hand, eyes begging her to continued.

"When I came out to my parents, they hated me. They didn't say that of course – just that it was a phase and that I was young. But I could see it in my parent's eyes. They saw their dreams for me vanishing. I was sixteen –" Her voice broke off; she was clearly nervous to be this vulnerable, even to Olivia.

"Alex..." Olivia's heart was already breaking and she didn't even know the whole story. Just saw this harsh pain engulfing Alex's eyes.

"I was sixteen. And I loved her. I mean, as much as you can love someone at sixteen. I see it as puppy love now, but it was real to me back then. Her name was Angela. She was in my ballet class and we used to walk home together. Sometimes we would hold hands, like friends do. But one day, when we reached the gates of my property, she kissed me..." Alex reminisced, touching her fingertips to her lips. Her voice broke slightly. "My mother pulled in the driveway. She greeted Angela cordially before yanking me in the house before the neighbors could see. Then she didn't say anything to me. Not one word. When my father got home for work, I heard them talking. Then they sat me down at the table and told me that they had changed my ballet class to a different time." By now, Alex was in tears, and Olivia held her close as she continued. "I ran into Angela once a couple weeks later at a recital. She smiled at me and touched my shoulder." Alex looked Olivia dead in the eye, as if she was giving her a confession. "I told her that it was a mistake. That I didn't want to see her again. She – was my first – kkiss, but I didn't – couldn't – lose my family."

Olivia gathered the sobbing blonde in her arms, rocking her slowly and rubbing her back as she let her cry. After a few minutes, Alex had calmed down enough to continue. "My parents never brought it up again. When I told them I had met someone at Harvard, a girl, they sent me to talk to my minister. Didn't say one word about it. So I stopped telling them. I went through it all alone – dating, confusion, heartbreak. When I got out of law school and still wasn't engaged, my mother decided to get involved. She started setting me up with men from my father's firm, friends' sons. One night, I told her that I wanted her to stop. That I wasn't happy. She asked me how dare I threatened my father's name, my political future." Alex paused. "And then she died, a year later, while I was in witness protection. She never knew who I was, Liv. She never _wanted_ to know."

Olivia thought back to the older Cabot woman at Alex's 'funeral,' her prim and proper stance, the polite responses she had to each and every condolence. The woman clearly loved Alex dearly and was heartbroken by her loss. But Olivia didn't fail to notice that every memory the woman had shared in her eulogy was superficial, foreign, acquainted.

Alex's words interrupted her reminiscence. "I tried so hard to please them. I did everything I could! I was number one in my class, had a perfect SAT score, practiced ballet and piano for hours and hours, went to all of their dinners and partook in conversation from the time I was three, even tried to date a boy. But it didn't work. I knew I could never be perfect, good enough for them. I – " Alex froze, clearly contemplating her words. Olivia watched her patiently and was startled when the blonde pulled out of her embrace and slide further to her side of the bed, staring down at the blanket. [Trigger warning! Self-harm]

"I – tried to kill myself once, Olivia."

Olivia felt like the world had both frozen and was rushing over her at the same time as she struggled to absorbed Alex's words. She felt sick from the pain burrowing deep into her chest as she looked up at her wife, sitting there pale and broken. Words were not coming to her so she said the only thing that was most true and natural: "I love you." Her voice cracking with every syllable.

Those three words, the brutal emotion behind them sent Alex into hysterics and she fell against Olivia once more, her sobs staining the detective's gray pajama shirt. The brunette began crying as well, her own salty tears mixing with Alex's as she held up her wrist like an offering of every truth she had ever hidden from her wife. From the middle of Alex's wrist extending to her mid-forearm, there were three fading lines. Olivia had asked her about them once and was told that they were the remnants of a skiing accident several years ago. Now Olivia saw the scars for what they really were, could feel the desperation radiating off of them. She slowing lifted Alex's arm, never breaking eye contact with her, as though asking for silent permission. Tears continued to flow down the attorney's cheeks as she watched Olivia press a tender kiss to each of the three marks, the part of her body she was most self-conscious of – hated. "Beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful." The detective then gathered Alex's frail body into her arms, whispering 'I love you' again and again like a mantra, holding her tightly as they both cried themselves to sleep.

~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~AO~

When Alex woke up the next morning, Olivia was sitting up in bed watching her, softly running her fingers through the blonde's hair. Alex went to say good morning, but her voice was chapped from crying. Olivia kissed her before handing her a warm cup of tea. She allowed Alex to rest against her side.

The detective didn't say one word about the prior night, knowing that the attorney wouldn't want her to. And she was right. Alex had never been that vulnerable to anyone before and was touched by the way in which her wife held her secrets silently close to her heart, expressing everything she needed to with the comforting way in which she now gripped Alex's hand, the occasional butterfly kiss she'd occasionally place on her collarbone.

In that moment, Alex may still have not felt perfect. But she felt whole.

When she finished her tea and sat the mug on the bedside table, she rested her head against Olivia's chest, listening to her soft heartbeat. A few minutes later, she interrupted the silence. "Next year, there is no way I am inviting any of them again. I don't care about 'Cabot etiquette.'"

Olivia looked down at her curiously. "I thought you said that your family only had to come to first birthday parties..."

"Right."

"Then..." Olivia was silent for a moment, thinking about the blonde's statement. "Oh my God!" She sat up abruptly and looked at Alex with wide brown eyes. The attorney nodded, with the biggest smile on her face – pain replaced by happiness.

"I'm pregnant."

A/N: Let me know what you think!


End file.
